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Straight Forward Advice On Marriage That Works
< < < Stop Your Divorce
Lets face it; if youre looking for advice on marriage, you could spend DAYS researching on the internet without even scratching the surface of all the marriage advice thats out there.
But the sad fact is, thats what most people in your situation do they RESEARCH but never ACT on the concepts and ideas they learn about because they come up with excuses for why THEIR situation is DIFFERENT.
Well let me tell you .your situation is NOT different. And as EXTREME as MY marriage was my situation was NOT different either
So why am I qualified to give YOU advice on marriage? Because I managed to save my marriage on my own after 27 years of fighting, car chases and battles over her way vs. my way.
Our marriage was as bad as it gets.
You see, I married my COMPLETE OPPOSITE. In fact, youd think we were from different planets if you compared our habits, values, priorities and temperaments and thats before you take into account our male/female differences .which brings me to one of the best pieces of advice on marriage that I can give you
1. LEARN THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES
When I discovered this critical bit of advice on marriage, it really opened my eyes as to EXACTLY what made my wife happy. Often times we wish our spouse would treat us a certain way, but we never actually tell them what it is that we want them to do!
Gary Chapman, author of the book, The Five Live Languages, makes it easy for you to communicate what you need from your spouse to feel loved and what they need from you!
When I found out what made my wife feel loved I was SHOCKED!
She wanted acts of service of all things! I thought that since I liked words of affirmation that she would too!
I hated doing acts of service (a.k.a. chores around the house, gardening and repairs) and thats exactly why I wasnt meeting her needs! I didnt realize what I was doing wrong until I read this book.
which reminds me heres another great piece of advice on marriage you need to keep in mind...
Many couples make the BIG mistake of treating their spouse the way they WISH their spouse would treat THEM!
In other words, smothering your spouse in hugs and kisses isnt going to make him/her want to hug/kiss YOU more if what they actually need from YOU is acts of service like taking out the trash or cleaning the house!
If you want to improve your marriage and have your spouse meet your needs, by meeting theirs FIRST, I highly recommend this book. You can find it at: http://www.stopyourdivorcein4weeks.com/gary.html
Now Ive never seen anyone talk about this last piece of advice on marriage, so pay close attention
2. YOU CANT IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE UNLESS YOU FEEL LIKE IT FIRST
Many people search for the recipe for a happy marriage, in a quest for a simple LIST of things they can go do and then simply check the items off of their list.
But unfortunately, thats not how REAL married life works. I could give you a long list of advice on marriage that would improve your relationship, but that list wont do you any good. If youre like most married couples, you wont act on ANY advice on marriage until you first feel like doing it FIRST.
Telling you to go do something to improve your marriage is NOT going to make a difference in your relationship when you resent your spouse and feel SO negative that you cant even bring yourself to do it!
The key is actually FEELING LIKE doing something positive for your marriage and THEN doing it.
Believe me; its MUCH easier to do something nice for your spouse when youre feeling optimistic about your marriage than it is to force yourself to be the first one to take a step towards a better marriage.
Now I know what youre thinking. How do I get to the point where I FEEL LIKE doing something to improve my marriage? Im so frustrated with my spouse right now!
Well, Im glad you asked. I offer a FREE mini-course on How to Overcome Your Negative feelings the Moment they Appear. If youre at all interested, keep reading so you can get started on the mini-course right away
< < < Stop Your Divorce
BONUS : Stress And Weddings: The Making Of Bridezilla
Every girl dreams of having the perfect wedding. From childhood we are bombarded these images of perfection in glamorous celebrity weddings whose unlimited budgets are reflected in the designer gowns, lavish jewelry, multitude of guests, and sumptuous buffet. For example, take Lady Diana Spencer's wedding to the Prince of Wales in 1981. During the so-called wedding of the century, she wore a designer dress with a long train that cascaded down the aisle of Westminster Abbey with matching velvet shoes adorned with diamond buckles. It seemed to us like a fairy tale come true---a princess has finally found her prince.
And so from these images we begin building our own vision of the perfect wedding. Whether large or small, we visualize every detail of this fantastic event, from the exact shade of white for the gowns to the particular recipe we want to use for the dessert course. For some women, the need to make everything about the day perfect has turned many a lovely bride into a creature known as Bridezilla. Bridezillas make an already stressful time in their lives even more stressful. And when the bride is stressed, everyone around her becomes stressed as well. These creatures subsist on nothing but their wedding plans and expect those around them to do the same. The lives of Bridezilla's friends and family depend on whether or not she gets what she wants, no matter how expensive or impractical it is. God help anyone who makes a mistake or tells her that she can't have what she wants, because she will eat you alive.
So what fuels the rage of Bridezilla? Stress.
Planning a wedding, especially large ones, can be difficult. Many brides also have to contend with meddling family members, budget constraints and time pressure along with the usual demands of daily life such as a job and/or children. Some women can handle the pressure, but others cannot and it manifests in psychological or physical ways. Bridezillas can be susceptible to mood swings, hysteria and irrational behavior which begins to affect the other parts of her life. But it is possible to avoid becoming a Bridezilla and having a stress-free wedding by following these tips:
1. Stop obsessing over the little details. In their quest to plan the perfect wedding, many brides forget that its the ceremony itself that's important, not the trimmings. There's no need to get into debt to create the perfect wedding. Spend your money where it counts. Money is one of the most powerful stress triggers, but careful spending will go a long way in easing your worries. Remember that some things in life are free.
2. Compromise. There is great wisdom in the saying, Two heads are better than one. Remember that you can't do it alone and that you don't have the monopoly on good ideas. Be open for suggestions. Ask your groom if he has any special requests that can be incorporated to the ceremony.
3. Delegate. Some family members may feel that they have the right to meddle with your wedding plans, which often leads to many arguments and tears. This creates an atmosphere of tension that can be extremely tedious and stressful. Try setting a specific task to each person and let them know that you appreciate their help. Deal with these people firmly and with diplomacy and make sure that they understand that you and your groom have the final say in all matters pertaining to the wedding. If all else fails, consider hiring a wedding planner.
4. Get organized. It pays to do a little research before purchasing a service or item for the wedding. Try attending a wedding-themed trade fair or similar gatherings for more inspiration. Keep a notebook and calendar for matters pertaining to the wedding, detailing what has been done and what else needs to be done.
5. Take time off from the wedding frenzy. Go away for the weekend with your groom, or treat your self to a spa date with your friends. Do what helps you to relax and during that time, avoid discussing or even thinking of your wedding plans. Stepping back helps you regain a new perspective on the matter and lessens your level of stress.
6. Let it go. There are just some things we can't control, like the weather. Focus on what you can control, and maintain a sense of humor. Laughing greatly increases your body's release of endorphins, engendering a sense of wellbeing and decreasing stress levels.
Every girl dreams of having the perfect wedding. From childhood we are bombarded these images of perfection in glamorous celebrity weddings whose unlimited budgets are reflected in the designer gowns, lavish jewelry, multitude of guests, and sumptuous buffet. For example, take Lady Diana Spencer's wedding to the Prince of Wales in 1981. During the so-called wedding of the century, she wore a designer dress with a long train that cascaded down the aisle of Westminster Abbey with matching velvet shoes adorned with diamond buckles. It seemed to us like a fairy tale come true---a princess has finally found her prince.
And so from these images we begin building our own vision of the perfect wedding. Whether large or small, we visualize every detail of this fantastic event, from the exact shade of white for the gowns to the particular recipe we want to use for the dessert course. For some women, the need to make everything about the day perfect has turned many a lovely bride into a creature known as Bridezilla. Bridezillas make an already stressful time in their lives even more stressful. And when the bride is stressed, everyone around her becomes stressed as well. These creatures subsist on nothing but their wedding plans and expect those around them to do the same. The lives of Bridezilla's friends and family depend on whether or not she gets what she wants, no matter how expensive or impractical it is. God help anyone who makes a mistake or tells her that she can't have what she wants, because she will eat you alive.
So what fuels the rage of Bridezilla? Stress.
Planning a wedding, especially large ones, can be difficult. Many brides also have to contend with meddling family members, budget constraints and time pressure along with the usual demands of daily life such as a job and/or children. Some women can handle the pressure, but others cannot and it manifests in psychological or physical ways. Bridezillas can be susceptible to mood swings, hysteria and irrational behavior which begins to affect the other parts of her life. But it is possible to avoid becoming a Bridezilla and having a stress-free wedding by following these tips:
1. Stop obsessing over the little details. In their quest to plan the perfect wedding, many brides forget that its the ceremony itself that's important, not the trimmings. There's no need to get into debt to create the perfect wedding. Spend your money where it counts. Money is one of the most powerful stress triggers, but careful spending will go a long way in easing your worries. Remember that some things in life are free.
2. Compromise. There is great wisdom in the saying, Two heads are better than one. Remember that you can't do it alone and that you don't have the monopoly on good ideas. Be open for suggestions. Ask your groom if he has any special requests that can be incorporated to the ceremony.
3. Delegate. Some family members may feel that they have the right to meddle with your wedding plans, which often leads to many arguments and tears. This creates an atmosphere of tension that can be extremely tedious and stressful. Try setting a specific task to each person and let them know that you appreciate their help. Deal with these people firmly and with diplomacy and make sure that they understand that you and your groom have the final say in all matters pertaining to the wedding. If all else fails, consider hiring a wedding planner.
4. Get organized. It pays to do a little research before purchasing a service or item for the wedding. Try attending a wedding-themed trade fair or similar gatherings for more inspiration. Keep a notebook and calendar for matters pertaining to the wedding, detailing what has been done and what else needs to be done.
5. Take time off from the wedding frenzy. Go away for the weekend with your groom, or treat your self to a spa date with your friends. Do what helps you to relax and during that time, avoid discussing or even thinking of your wedding plans. Stepping back helps you regain a new perspective on the matter and lessens your level of stress.
6. Let it go. There are just some things we can't control, like the weather. Focus on what you can control, and maintain a sense of humor. Laughing greatly increases your body's release of endorphins, engendering a sense of wellbeing and decreasing stress levels.
