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Seven Easy Steps To Writing A Eulogy
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Both writing and delivering a eulogy are emotional, but at the same time a step towards healing. Its never easy to put into words what someones life meant to you and to summarize their life in just a few minutes. By following the seven steps below youll be on your way to creating a memorable and heart felt eulogy.
Step One: Gather information. Jot down as many personal notes about the deceased as possible. Look at photos. Flipping through photo albums may remind you of important qualities and memories of the person who died. Answer a few questions: What made your loved one truly happy? What inspired you to write this eulogy? What were your loved ones passions? What will you remember most about this person? Keep in mind that a eulogy is not a biography but more your personal thoughts and remembrances from your point of view. You may want to ask co-workers, friends and others for their stories and memories. You should see some repetition in your notes and this will lead to the main theme.
Step Two: Begin to organize your content. Outline the eulogy in these steps:
I. A beginning to establish your theme.
II. A middle section to build on your theme with personal stories, information, quotes, comments, sayings, poems and other content. This information should make up 90% of the eulogy.
III. A short conclusion to summarize your thoughts and restate your theme.
Step Three: Work first on the middle section (Part II). Once you have this part the beginning and summary will be easy. Develop the outline by grouping similar themes from your notes from Step 1. For example, you might want to gather all the achievements together. Merge the comments about the deceaseds philosophy of life.
Step Four: Organize the conclusion (Part III). A conclusion reminds the listeners of the theme and imprints the strong feeling you have about the loss. The key is to conclude effectively and quickly. Here is an example:
We will all miss Jackies sense of humor, her talent for knowing what is really important in life and her famous chocolate chip cookies (a little humor doesnt hurt as long as its not offensive to anyone).
Her example lives as an inspiration for all of us to follow.
Step Five: Write the beginning of the eulogy (Part 1). This usually starts with an attention getter. It will set the theme and can be in the form of a short story, a poem, a saying, lyrics to a song. It will introduce the goal and theme you used when you began the process.
Step Six: Polish it up. Your best bet is to walk away from it for a few hours or overnight if possible. Work on it so it sounds like a conversation. You want to talk to the audience as naturally as possible.
Key tips: Keep it short, 4-8 minutes long, 3-7 typed pages.
Type it out using 14 pt type so its easy to read.
Vary sentence length.
Number the pages.
Practice the eulogy aloud and time yourself.
Read it to friends and family and get their feedback. Edit where necessary.
Keep the content in good taste and keep it positive.
Step Seven: Delivering the eulogy.
While normally speakers do not read word-for-word, because you are more than likely going to be emotional, dont be afraid to read word for word. This way you wont leave out any key points you or others wanted said.
If making eye contact with members of the audience will make you emotional, either try and keep your eyes on the page or look just over the top of the audience to the back of the room.
Feel free to pause, take a deep breath and drink some water. Everyone will understand. They are emotionally distraught also.
Speak as naturally as you can just as if you were telling someone about your loved one. Speak up. Its very important that you speak clearly and loudly so that everyone can hear you.
Keep the written eulogy as a memento. You can add it to your memento chest and share it with others who may want a copy.
By following these steps, writing and delivering a eulogy will become less stressful and more of a healing process.
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BONUS : Seven Levels Of Rejection: And How To Make Them Work For You
Most people in the writing world talk about the three levels of rejection--form, personal, rewrite--but I've discovered seven types (after over 200 rejections before being published and about hundred after, I should know). Learning how to analyze rejection is a helpful skill for any writer because you'll learn what to ignore, what to consider, and what will put you on the right track or, as the case may be, off of it.
Here are the seven types of rejections that may find their way in your email or mailbox:
1) No response. The agent or editor doesn't send you anything. I find these ones most annoying. You wait in anticipation, hoping, praying for something either in the mail or online. Nothing. Six months past. Still nothing.
2) Form rejection. These are the ones that start Dear fill in the name. They tell you that your work isn't right for them and wish you better luck elsewhere. There's no feedback. You should toss these rejections immediately. But be warned, form rejections are easy to get if you don't follow directions: submitting to the wrong magazine or publisher, a wrong topic, wrong manuscript format, or writing in crayon or invisible ink. To avoid form rejections, study the magazine or publisher's criteria for submissions to make sure you're giving them something they'll want (i.e. a clean manuscript that addresses the needs of their readers) and not a missive of "Why I Should be Published by You."
3) Multiple choice. These agents or editors have gotten creative and made a list of reasons they're rejecting your work because a) they have something similar, b) the quality of your work doesn't meet their standards and/or, c) they think you're completely without talent and hope you'll never query them again. Sometimes they'll check one, sometimes they'll check all three. This is still a form rejection because it's too general to give you any real advice; however, you at least get an idea of what they're looking for. But then again, if number three is selected it is best ignored because it's just an opinion.
4) Personal note. These are nice, except when they're mean. A nice personal note can provide support like, "Good job, but needs work." A mean note on the other hand can be devastating like, "This is awful" written in blood red ink on the corner of your query. When an agent or editor takes the time to put "Not bad" on the corner of your query take it as the sign of encouragement that it is. Ignore the nasty ones. But even if they don't tell you why your work is being rejected, you're heading in the right direction. Getting a good or bad personal note indicates your style. It is my experience that it's better to get some kind of response rather than just a form rejection. Why? Because that's how readers will be. Some will hate your work. Some will love it. Receiving a response, especially a personal note, lets you know that you're hitting buttons and that's a good thing.
5) The critique. Most aspiring authors expect this type of rejection, but editors and agents don't owe you this. They get hundreds of queries and manuscripts a week and they can't critique all of them. If you do receive one consider yourself fortunate that someone has taken the time to tell you why they're rejecting your work. They may be wrong, but at least you know why. Remember, they are taking a risk by sending you bad news. The form rejection is popular because many editors and agents have suffered the wrath of rejected authors who will bombard their offices with letters arguing why they think they critique was wrong. Don't be one of those authors. Take what you can from the critique then move on.
6) Try again. This type of rejection is close to a personal note, but it's never mean. They are saying that what you submitted isn't right for them, but they're curious to see more. Make sure you follow up.
7) Rewrite request. This type of response can make most writers jump for joy. The editor is interested and is offering hints on how to gain their favor. This is good news, of course, only if you agree with the suggested changes. Unfortunately, this is still a rejection and there is no guarantee that making the changes will result in a sale. However, the most important lesson to learn from this type of rejection is that you have caught the interest of an editor and it's a relationship you should nurture.
No matter what type of response you get, 'close' is still 'no.' There is no gray area in publishing. You are either offered a contract or not. However, as I've outlined above, look at the type of rejection before you burn it. When you get varying rejections like: 'I hate the character, but love the plot' and 'I love the character, but hate the plot' you're on your way. Why? Because whoever is reading your work is stating personal preference instead of offering a common complaint. That will be what makes your style unique.
Most writers loathe rejections and for some their careers never survive the pain of getting them. You don't want this to happen to you. You now have the skills to sift through your rejections and never fear them again.
Most people in the writing world talk about the three levels of rejection--form, personal, rewrite--but I've discovered seven types (after over 200 rejections before being published and about hundred after, I should know). Learning how to analyze rejection is a helpful skill for any writer because you'll learn what to ignore, what to consider, and what will put you on the right track or, as the case may be, off of it.
Here are the seven types of rejections that may find their way in your email or mailbox:
1) No response. The agent or editor doesn't send you anything. I find these ones most annoying. You wait in anticipation, hoping, praying for something either in the mail or online. Nothing. Six months past. Still nothing.
2) Form rejection. These are the ones that start Dear fill in the name. They tell you that your work isn't right for them and wish you better luck elsewhere. There's no feedback. You should toss these rejections immediately. But be warned, form rejections are easy to get if you don't follow directions: submitting to the wrong magazine or publisher, a wrong topic, wrong manuscript format, or writing in crayon or invisible ink. To avoid form rejections, study the magazine or publisher's criteria for submissions to make sure you're giving them something they'll want (i.e. a clean manuscript that addresses the needs of their readers) and not a missive of "Why I Should be Published by You."
3) Multiple choice. These agents or editors have gotten creative and made a list of reasons they're rejecting your work because a) they have something similar, b) the quality of your work doesn't meet their standards and/or, c) they think you're completely without talent and hope you'll never query them again. Sometimes they'll check one, sometimes they'll check all three. This is still a form rejection because it's too general to give you any real advice; however, you at least get an idea of what they're looking for. But then again, if number three is selected it is best ignored because it's just an opinion.
4) Personal note. These are nice, except when they're mean. A nice personal note can provide support like, "Good job, but needs work." A mean note on the other hand can be devastating like, "This is awful" written in blood red ink on the corner of your query. When an agent or editor takes the time to put "Not bad" on the corner of your query take it as the sign of encouragement that it is. Ignore the nasty ones. But even if they don't tell you why your work is being rejected, you're heading in the right direction. Getting a good or bad personal note indicates your style. It is my experience that it's better to get some kind of response rather than just a form rejection. Why? Because that's how readers will be. Some will hate your work. Some will love it. Receiving a response, especially a personal note, lets you know that you're hitting buttons and that's a good thing.
5) The critique. Most aspiring authors expect this type of rejection, but editors and agents don't owe you this. They get hundreds of queries and manuscripts a week and they can't critique all of them. If you do receive one consider yourself fortunate that someone has taken the time to tell you why they're rejecting your work. They may be wrong, but at least you know why. Remember, they are taking a risk by sending you bad news. The form rejection is popular because many editors and agents have suffered the wrath of rejected authors who will bombard their offices with letters arguing why they think they critique was wrong. Don't be one of those authors. Take what you can from the critique then move on.
6) Try again. This type of rejection is close to a personal note, but it's never mean. They are saying that what you submitted isn't right for them, but they're curious to see more. Make sure you follow up.
7) Rewrite request. This type of response can make most writers jump for joy. The editor is interested and is offering hints on how to gain their favor. This is good news, of course, only if you agree with the suggested changes. Unfortunately, this is still a rejection and there is no guarantee that making the changes will result in a sale. However, the most important lesson to learn from this type of rejection is that you have caught the interest of an editor and it's a relationship you should nurture.
No matter what type of response you get, 'close' is still 'no.' There is no gray area in publishing. You are either offered a contract or not. However, as I've outlined above, look at the type of rejection before you burn it. When you get varying rejections like: 'I hate the character, but love the plot' and 'I love the character, but hate the plot' you're on your way. Why? Because whoever is reading your work is stating personal preference instead of offering a common complaint. That will be what makes your style unique.
Most writers loathe rejections and for some their careers never survive the pain of getting them. You don't want this to happen to you. You now have the skills to sift through your rejections and never fear them again.
