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Financial Advice For Young Married Couples
Mention unfaithfulness in a marriage and more then likely your thoughts will focus on sexual relationships. Yet over 50% of divorces are not at all related to sexual unfaithfulness but rather financial unfaithfulness. In today's debt ridden society, the face of unfaithfulness is financial and divorces are happening much more repeatedly as a result of uncovered financial secrets. More often then not, women are financially unfaithful compared to men however financial unfaithfulness is wide ranging and will annihilate a marriage as quickly as sexual unfaithfulness.
Young married couples and debt are common however, they also form a cocktail for marital ruin. Often with a young married couple, one of the partners will hide certain financial things to prevent confrontations and getting help. As soon as the unfaithfulness begins, it usually does not stop until it hits the point of no return. At this point, financial debts become too big to hide and either the partner will reluctantly bring it up or the other partner will discover it on their own, which will bring with it feelings of great frustration, bitterness and often is the beginning of the end for the marriage, especially if professional help is not seeked out immediately.
Men seem to be less apt to handle the financial unfaithfulness then women and when it is discovered that their spouse has been financially unfaithful then a battle will often begin. So what is a young married couple to do to avoid this disaster?
Be accountable to one another and help each other prepare and maintain a budget. When only one spouse has their hand in control of the cookie jar, temptation can often cause for the hand to dip in more then its fair share. This can often start out innocently but quickly grows into a problem while the other partner sits by innocently unaware of the financial burden that is starting.
If a young couple is set on only having one person in control of the budget, that is fine however it is wise to site together once every week and review the income and expenses and allow for open questions and answers. This will provide that additional step of accountability that is often more then enough to keep the temptation of financial unfaithfulness at bay.
Marital problems that are caused from a lack of financial maturity do cause many best friends to become bitter enemies and in any marriage, it can certainly be the brutal destruction of the foundation for which it stands. If you are hiding financial problems from your spouse, come clean with them immediately and seek out financial guidance. If you are not sharing the budget responsibly currently, then start.
BONUS : Find A Russian Wife, Ukrainian Wife, Russian Bride Or Ukrainian Bride
Why Marry a Russian or Ukrainian Woman?
Many men in the US and other countries venture into the unknown world of Russia, the Ukraine and other East Block countries to find their Russian bride or Ukrainian wife. Many of these women still hold the traditional notion of success for them to be defined by having a family and a loving husband. Over the years this has become harder and harder to find in the West, as woman in the West has taken on their corporate roles and deviated from the traditional values that so many men... still today... desire in their wives, but find it hard to find in the West.
It does not only stop there. Women from the East love to take care of themselves, their children and their family. I can say this from personal experience that I see in my wife, how she puts hours of effort into taking care of herself, just as she does for taking care of our child. But most importantly, she loves doing it! There is a beautiful union when East meets West in a marriage. Men from the West knows how to provide of a family and they love playing the role that a man can play in the traditional sense of a husband... while Russian wives, seamlessly blend into the role of supporting her husband while taking care of the family with her tenderness and loving heart.
Another reason many men seek out to marry a women from the Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, Latvia or other East Block countries, are the level of commitment men get from these women. Once you meet a Russian lady and you have mutually confirmed your love for each other, you will have zero doubt about weather she is "with you" or not. There is an undeniable level of commitment that you WILL experience with them, something so unique. Just as regular long distance relationships, International Relationships lend themselves to similar challenges initially, but because you two will find a very deep and exotic love in each other, you will commit to do whatever it takes to "be together". This creates a very intimate commitment that expands love to a new level. Because you will have to go through an immigration process in order to get her a visa prior to her coming over to your country, this will make things extra difficult... but also extra intimate and this by itself is an expression of the unique and powerful commitment Russian women and Ukrainian wives have.
Find Russian Women or a Ukrainian Wife - Where?
Prior to the internet men all over the world have corresponded by postal mail with their Russian darlings abroad. Now the internet has made this so much easier. As you will go through the process of finding your Ukrainian or Russian wife abroad, you will surf the net and be inundated with thousands of women and hundreds of different services. Some services charge around $3000-$6000 for what is referred to as a "Romance Tour". I suggest to all my clients to stay clear from these "romance traps". These services usually will introduce you to hundreds of women in a night club setting and you can forget about any personal attention to what "you" want to see in your wife. In addition most of these services will introduce you to women in "large cities", which from my experience is not the best choice, but we will discuss this in the next section.
There is no way around it. Meeting your Russian wife or Ukrainian Bride will probably materialize by using a dating agency, or as they are known in the Russian world, "Marriage Agency". These companies will offer translations services for your email to your girl and they will translate her reply for you from Russian to English again. Although this is a very valuable service, I have to reiterate that the "big" introduction agencies overcharge for this service. Be very aware of this. Most of my clients are very happy with my proposal to use smaller agencies in smaller cities, since they will tailor services towards what you need, thus only paying for what you use... as well as their fees are much more reasonable.
Small city vs. Big City?
Another aspect I encourage my clients to consider it weather they want a wife with small town traditional values or a wife from a big city. I always emphasize to seriously consider small town ladies before big city women. Just as any place in the world, small town women tend to have more traditional values. They tend to have closer knit families as well as much more knowledgeable of how to get by when money is tight. This character aspect can be very beautiful to see, especially since their Western sisters seem to have lost much of this ability over the years.
There is one small drawback to small town (or smaller city) women. It is the flights! Yes, you will find there are much fewer flights to the smaller cities than there is to the major ones. I can find a flight from Dallas to Kiev (Ukraine) for about $500 right now... but from Kiev to Dnepropetrovsk (smaller city in the Ukraine) will cost me about $400 extra. Having said this, by using smaller agencies in smaller cities will be a huge cost saving to you over the durations that you correspond to your future Ukrainian or Russian wife. The visa process could take between 6-12 months, so these correspondence fees and telephone bills can add up.
When do you want a "big city" wife? One of my clients values the intellectual mind of his wife very much. Since his whole family has been in the medical profession and he is also, this simply was very important to him. He wanted a wife that had a Masters Degree in something concrete. So, he ended up marrying a lady from a "big city" with 2 Masters Degrees.
Which Country Should I Look At?
The former USSR states has been divided into 15 independent countries. Of these I really suggest only two countries to my clients: The Ukraine and Latvia. Of cause this should not stop you from looking at others countries if you so choose, but both the Ukraine and Latvia has made great progress in their democratic development as well as their vision to join the European Union. My favorite is the Ukraine, maybe because my wife is from there, but also because it is possible to walk into the Ukraine with your blue American passport without a visa. In order for an American to enter Russia you will need a $200 visa every single time you go and visit your fiancé. You will also see that there is a huge single female population in the Ukraine... larger than in Russia.
In addition, Russia has some talks about revoking the Russian Citizenship of Russian women who marry foreigners. Russia has picked up on their crem-del-a-crem marrying men from abroad and seem to want to take a stand against this. But then again, this might not be important to you.
Immigration
As I mentioned earlier, you will experience a new level of commitment from the women you meet in the East - there is no doubt about this! If you have a "long distance relationship" with someone in your same country, it is difficult, but it is extra difficult for those who have to go through the process of immigration before they can be together. Your love will grow so much stronger over the months, but there will always be a small part of you that will wonder: "What if we do not get her a visa?". This can be very challenging times, but finding the best legal help OR doing it yourself with 1000% dedication to detail can ensure success in this realm.
The men will be expected to collect many documents for your fiancé. You will be expected to provide copies of your letters, phone records, your bank accounts, etc... just to mention a few. The immigration process is not for the fainthearted, but it will pay back in a life long adventurous journey with your Ukrainian or Russian love.
The Stigma You Will Be Faced With:
Out there in the world there exist a stigma about marrying a Russian women. A stigma about the all so well known phrase "mail order bride". This concept has been created by the media and is so very touché. The fact of the matter is that the concept of "mail order bride" does not exist. Once you go through the immigration process you will learn how this is NOT "anything mail order". For starters immigration requires that you have at least physically met once before applying for your visa. There is nothing instant about this kind of love.
Often my clients are faced resistance from their friends and family because their friends and family simply does not understand the courage it takes to go and find your love abroad. In addition it is honest ignorance from their family and friends who does not understand what it takes to marry a foreign national. YOU STILL NEED TO BE IN LOVE AND LOVE MUTUALLY. There is no way around this. To all my clients I emphasize this over and over and over. It must "feel" right".
Some men make the mistake to believe that the "love will grow". If you are not in love when you meet, it is very unlikely it will grow in the future. There are some aspects of finding your love abroad that is exactly the same as dating a local woman and being in love is imperative.
In Closing
Finding your soul mate in the same city as you is difficult. Finding your love abroad, can make certain things much easier, but it introduces other aspects of challenge to the game. Having said that, the happiness can me blissful and ecstatic. A happiness we all deserve.
Why Marry a Russian or Ukrainian Woman?
Many men in the US and other countries venture into the unknown world of Russia, the Ukraine and other East Block countries to find their Russian bride or Ukrainian wife. Many of these women still hold the traditional notion of success for them to be defined by having a family and a loving husband. Over the years this has become harder and harder to find in the West, as woman in the West has taken on their corporate roles and deviated from the traditional values that so many men... still today... desire in their wives, but find it hard to find in the West.
It does not only stop there. Women from the East love to take care of themselves, their children and their family. I can say this from personal experience that I see in my wife, how she puts hours of effort into taking care of herself, just as she does for taking care of our child. But most importantly, she loves doing it! There is a beautiful union when East meets West in a marriage. Men from the West knows how to provide of a family and they love playing the role that a man can play in the traditional sense of a husband... while Russian wives, seamlessly blend into the role of supporting her husband while taking care of the family with her tenderness and loving heart.
Another reason many men seek out to marry a women from the Ukraine, Russia, Belarus, Latvia or other East Block countries, are the level of commitment men get from these women. Once you meet a Russian lady and you have mutually confirmed your love for each other, you will have zero doubt about weather she is "with you" or not. There is an undeniable level of commitment that you WILL experience with them, something so unique. Just as regular long distance relationships, International Relationships lend themselves to similar challenges initially, but because you two will find a very deep and exotic love in each other, you will commit to do whatever it takes to "be together". This creates a very intimate commitment that expands love to a new level. Because you will have to go through an immigration process in order to get her a visa prior to her coming over to your country, this will make things extra difficult... but also extra intimate and this by itself is an expression of the unique and powerful commitment Russian women and Ukrainian wives have.
Find Russian Women or a Ukrainian Wife - Where?
Prior to the internet men all over the world have corresponded by postal mail with their Russian darlings abroad. Now the internet has made this so much easier. As you will go through the process of finding your Ukrainian or Russian wife abroad, you will surf the net and be inundated with thousands of women and hundreds of different services. Some services charge around $3000-$6000 for what is referred to as a "Romance Tour". I suggest to all my clients to stay clear from these "romance traps". These services usually will introduce you to hundreds of women in a night club setting and you can forget about any personal attention to what "you" want to see in your wife. In addition most of these services will introduce you to women in "large cities", which from my experience is not the best choice, but we will discuss this in the next section.
There is no way around it. Meeting your Russian wife or Ukrainian Bride will probably materialize by using a dating agency, or as they are known in the Russian world, "Marriage Agency". These companies will offer translations services for your email to your girl and they will translate her reply for you from Russian to English again. Although this is a very valuable service, I have to reiterate that the "big" introduction agencies overcharge for this service. Be very aware of this. Most of my clients are very happy with my proposal to use smaller agencies in smaller cities, since they will tailor services towards what you need, thus only paying for what you use... as well as their fees are much more reasonable.
Small city vs. Big City?
Another aspect I encourage my clients to consider it weather they want a wife with small town traditional values or a wife from a big city. I always emphasize to seriously consider small town ladies before big city women. Just as any place in the world, small town women tend to have more traditional values. They tend to have closer knit families as well as much more knowledgeable of how to get by when money is tight. This character aspect can be very beautiful to see, especially since their Western sisters seem to have lost much of this ability over the years.
There is one small drawback to small town (or smaller city) women. It is the flights! Yes, you will find there are much fewer flights to the smaller cities than there is to the major ones. I can find a flight from Dallas to Kiev (Ukraine) for about $500 right now... but from Kiev to Dnepropetrovsk (smaller city in the Ukraine) will cost me about $400 extra. Having said this, by using smaller agencies in smaller cities will be a huge cost saving to you over the durations that you correspond to your future Ukrainian or Russian wife. The visa process could take between 6-12 months, so these correspondence fees and telephone bills can add up.
When do you want a "big city" wife? One of my clients values the intellectual mind of his wife very much. Since his whole family has been in the medical profession and he is also, this simply was very important to him. He wanted a wife that had a Masters Degree in something concrete. So, he ended up marrying a lady from a "big city" with 2 Masters Degrees.
Which Country Should I Look At?
The former USSR states has been divided into 15 independent countries. Of these I really suggest only two countries to my clients: The Ukraine and Latvia. Of cause this should not stop you from looking at others countries if you so choose, but both the Ukraine and Latvia has made great progress in their democratic development as well as their vision to join the European Union. My favorite is the Ukraine, maybe because my wife is from there, but also because it is possible to walk into the Ukraine with your blue American passport without a visa. In order for an American to enter Russia you will need a $200 visa every single time you go and visit your fiancé. You will also see that there is a huge single female population in the Ukraine... larger than in Russia.
In addition, Russia has some talks about revoking the Russian Citizenship of Russian women who marry foreigners. Russia has picked up on their crem-del-a-crem marrying men from abroad and seem to want to take a stand against this. But then again, this might not be important to you.
Immigration
As I mentioned earlier, you will experience a new level of commitment from the women you meet in the East - there is no doubt about this! If you have a "long distance relationship" with someone in your same country, it is difficult, but it is extra difficult for those who have to go through the process of immigration before they can be together. Your love will grow so much stronger over the months, but there will always be a small part of you that will wonder: "What if we do not get her a visa?". This can be very challenging times, but finding the best legal help OR doing it yourself with 1000% dedication to detail can ensure success in this realm.
The men will be expected to collect many documents for your fiancé. You will be expected to provide copies of your letters, phone records, your bank accounts, etc... just to mention a few. The immigration process is not for the fainthearted, but it will pay back in a life long adventurous journey with your Ukrainian or Russian love.
The Stigma You Will Be Faced With:
Out there in the world there exist a stigma about marrying a Russian women. A stigma about the all so well known phrase "mail order bride". This concept has been created by the media and is so very touché. The fact of the matter is that the concept of "mail order bride" does not exist. Once you go through the immigration process you will learn how this is NOT "anything mail order". For starters immigration requires that you have at least physically met once before applying for your visa. There is nothing instant about this kind of love.
Often my clients are faced resistance from their friends and family because their friends and family simply does not understand the courage it takes to go and find your love abroad. In addition it is honest ignorance from their family and friends who does not understand what it takes to marry a foreign national. YOU STILL NEED TO BE IN LOVE AND LOVE MUTUALLY. There is no way around this. To all my clients I emphasize this over and over and over. It must "feel" right".
Some men make the mistake to believe that the "love will grow". If you are not in love when you meet, it is very unlikely it will grow in the future. There are some aspects of finding your love abroad that is exactly the same as dating a local woman and being in love is imperative.
In Closing
Finding your soul mate in the same city as you is difficult. Finding your love abroad, can make certain things much easier, but it introduces other aspects of challenge to the game. Having said that, the happiness can me blissful and ecstatic. A happiness we all deserve.
