Common Marriage Problems Neglect

Common Marriage Problems - Neglect

It is so easy to work your life away, forget about your family, your partner and your relationship. People putting work before family is such a common marriage problem that seems to pop up time and time again.

It’s ok for a while, your partner will understand that you need to put some time and effort into your career especially if it generates a good income but as time goes on and the ‘W’ word pops up again and again, even if your partner enjoys the benefits of your efforts, all patience fades and the realisation sets in that work is more important!!

I used to know a couple who spent most of their life apart. He worked nights and she worked days. She enjoyed spending the money that night shifts generated, loved new clothes, new cars and all the little luxuries a comfortable life style brings but hated her partner being tired when he was at home. They were between a rock and a hard place with him knowing that if he gave up nights bang went the luxuries and more than likely bye bye wife but if he carried on working nights and striving for promotion he was dead in the water anyway. What a choice. Needless to say they never reached a compromise, she wasn’t willing to wait for the promotion and a return to day shifts, so they are no longer married.

Working excessively long hours, travelling a lot and constantly leading separate lives is bound to put a strain on your relationship and it has proven to be a real relationship killer, a common marriage problem that is prolific in the ‘career’ society. Just look at the number people that are addicted to long unsociable working hours and then see how many of them are still married.

I’ve only ever met a handful of couples who are truly comfortable with, at best, a weekend relationship and these are couples that have learned and are happy to live independent lives. The problem in their relationships will come when the long hours and travelling comes to an end and they have to learn to live with each other 24/7.

How many partners spend their whole life at work, rarely seeing their children and having little time for their spouse? Their partners so often feel neglected, crave adult company, and as time goes on, the neglected partner’s cries go on ignored the relationship begins to wither and fade and the couple tend to grow apart.

When children are involved it is even more difficult with just one partner having to make sure they are around. That they are the ones there in the mornings and there in the evenings and that they alone have to revolve their whole lives around children and school. Again this pressure on one partner is all too common, a marriage problem that seems to be ignored by spouses who tend to avoid their responsibilities under the misguided understanding that their partners can and are happy to cope.

Those early years, when your children are growing up are very special and are years that can never be recaptured. They aren’t years that should just pass you by at your desk under the false impression that next time your child wants you it will be different, you just need to clear this project and then the next and then the next….. It’s never any different.

Children struggle with the concept of work being more important than them and what is going on in their lives. They are too young to understand the concept that their parent is just short sighted, perhaps confused as to what should take priority in their lives. Money doesn’t mean much to a child.

When work takes over your life, no matter what you best intentions are, if your vision isn’t understand and accepted by your family and they aren’t 100% behind you all of the way they will learn to resent the time you spend at your desk rather than with them. They will feel abandoned, unwanted and unloved.

If you want to revolve your life around a work driven environment you must make sure that that your partner has the same all consuming driving ambition. If either one in a relationship feels that work has taken over the family life it is time to sit down and discuss what is important in to you both. Consider the issues, understand the feelings on both sides, think about the children and work out what is best for the individuals, the relationship and the family as a whole.

Catch this common marriage problem before it develops into something more serious don’t loose your family over something you probably will learn to regret, save your marriage before it’s too late.

BONUS : Common Marriage Problems


For many couples, there are common marriage problems which often start to creep into the relationship over time. If you are feeling that your marriage isn’t what it should be, or what you thought it would be when you first walked down the aisle, you are not alone. Millions of couples grapple with relationship issues, often feeling that the problems are unique to their relationship. This can lead to feelings of embarrassment and / or loneliness, when it doesn’t need to.

So let’s take a look at three common marriage problems which many couples find themselves facing. All of these can start out seeming fairly minor, but if they continue over a long time and aren’t dealt with, they can have a very negative impact on a marriage.

Feeling like you have “fallen out of love” with each other

When you were first dating your spouse, and probably even when you stood in front of your family and friends and said your vows, you felt “head over heels in love” with each other. For most couples, that giddy feeling doesn’t last over the years. In fact, for many, once the reality of day to day married life sinks in it starts to fade. Your lives become one of routine, which is perfectly normal. The demands of your work or careers, children and mortgages can take up all of your time and energy. And if you are like some couples, you basically start living like roommates and nothing more. While that scenario is fairly common, marriage problems like this can eventually lead to an affair or a divorce.

Taking each other for granted

Another one of the most common marriage problems is that many couples start taking each other for granted. To some degree, it is human nature to take for granted that which is always there. But in relationships, this can lead to a slow, simmering resentment for one or both of you. Everyone longs to feel loved, cherished, and appreciated. After all, that was a big part of the reason you got married in the first place. No one feels loved when they are taken for granted. When it reaches the point of devaluing each other and failing to regard the relationship as sacred or special, it can be very damaging. Sadly, what often happens is that you don’t even realize just how serious it is until the other person is gone.

Failure to really talk to each other

Poor communication or the failure to really talk to each other is probably one of the most common marriage problems many couples face. Learning to communicate well is a skill many people lack. Others have the skill and may be great communicators in their career, but struggle with communicating with their spouse. This is particularly true if one or both of you grew up in a home where poor communication was the norm. You talk superficially but avoid discussing problems or issues as they arise. Some people just find it easier to avoid any conflict. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work and in time will take a toll on your relationship if something doesn’t change.

If you and your spouse are struggling with any one of these common marriage problems, there is hope. The first step is always acknowledging the problem. The sooner you recognize the problem and take action though, the better!