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Save Marriage From Divorce
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Considering that the divorce rate has been hovering at or above 50% for a long time now, it is worth putting some very serious thought into ways to save marriage from divorce. Because the couples who fail to do this are the ones most likely to end up as a statistic. If you want to be sure your marriage has the best chance of surviving and not ending up in divorce court, now is the time to pay attention. Following are some very destructive behaviors which need to be avoided if you want to save marriage from divorce.
Keeping score
A marriage is meant to be a true partnership, not a competition in which one or both of you constantly keeps score of what your spouse does or doesnÂt do for you. While light-hearted, playful competition is fun, expecting your partner to give you something or do something for you in return for each nice thing you do for him is destructive to the relationship. It creates a power struggle and is usually an attempt to control each other. And it fosters resentment and mistrust; two things that definitely wonÂt help save marriage from divorce.
For example, if a husband sacrifices a day of golf with his buddies in order to stay home and watch the children while his wife goes shopping, it looks like a kind deed on the surface. However, there is nothing truly kind and giving about it if he holds it over her head as a Âdebt when he wants something from her in the future. To save marriage from divorce, doing things for each other must stem from love and caring, not from manipulation, agendas, or ÂdebtÂ. When that becomes the case, a marriage is in serious trouble.
Nagging at your spouse
Sadly, we learn a lot of unhealthy behaviors from our parents. If you grew up in a home in which one of your parents frequently nagged the other, you may find yourself doing the same thing to your spouse. And I guarantee you your spouse does not like to be nagged.
Nagging is like water constantly dripping on a rock; over time it slowly wears it down. The same thing happens in your marriage when you nag. It slowly pushes your partner away, at least emotionally, creating a rift which can eventually become a chasm too large to repair. If you are prone to nagging, work on stopping this behavior as soon possible to save marriage from divorce.
Verbal abuse
Words can be extremely destructive, particularly in a marriage. If you are prone to losing your temper and saying ugly, hurtful or vicious things to your partner, you need to change this behavior immediately. Verbal abuse will eventually take an emotional toll on your spouse. While you may feel they are Âjust words and forget that you even said them a day or two later, your spouse definitely will not forget.
The sting of verbal abuse can go deep, and cruel words can be very difficult to forget for the person who is on the receiving end. If you are having marriage problems and truly want to save marriage from divorce, verbal abuse of any kind must stop immediately.
These are just a few of many things that can eventually tear a couple apart. Each behavior is not only destructive, it is also incredibly disrespectful. If you really desire to have a happy, healthy marriage and save marriage from divorce, ask yourself if you are doing anything destructive to the relationship similar to the above. If so, do whatever it takes to begin to make some changes. Your marriage will definitely benefit if you do!
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BONUS : Save Marriage Stop Divorce
Many couples are looking for ways to save marriage, stop divorce after infidelity has nearly destroyed their marriage. An affair is devastating in many ways. One of the areas it damages the most is that of trust. If your marriage has been impacted by an affair, and trust has been shattered, divorce may seem like the likely outcome initially. But it doesnÂt have to go that route if you are willing to do the hard work of getting your marriage back on track.
Many couples do find a way to rebuild trust and get past the incredible hurt and betrayal. In fact, in some cases, the affair serves as a wake up call, and if the appropriate changes are made, the marriage becomes stronger than it ever was before. But in order to save marriage, stop divorce you must first find a way to start rebuilding the trust which was lost. Trust is an absolutely essential component of a healthy marriage. Following are some guidelines to help you get it back.
If you are the person who cheated, you must first be willing to take ownership of your actions. This means you canÂt blame anyone else, nor can you excuse it by saying something like, ÂIÂm only humanÂ. In order for your partner to trust you again and save marriage, stop divorce, you have to step up to the plate and accept that it was your choice. Do this regardless of what factors may have influenced you.
Second, you must be willing to answer any questions your spouse may have (and trust me, your spouse is going to demand some answers from you!). DonÂt try to hide anything at this point or you will destroy any hope of trust ever coming back into the relationship. This is going to be difficult and painful, and it is going to take courage. But honesty is paramount if you want to save marriage, stop divorce. YouÂve already severely blown it; donÂt make things even worse by lying now.
Third, if there were things bothering you in the marriage which you feel made you start seeking the comfort or closeness of another person, you need to address those. Doing this does not mean you are trying to excuse your behavior. But it is important that you be honest and up front about any frustration and dissatisfaction you were experiencing. You can only change it if you first acknowledge it. Couples who do successfully get past infidelity and save marriage, stop divorce, make the commitment to work on the problems that made their marriage vulnerable in the first place.
Fourth, be very careful about your actions, particularly around anyone who could be perceived by your spouse as a threat to your relationship. In other words, donÂt be spending a lot of time alone with another man (or woman) who is particularly attractive or aggressive or flirtatious. Set good boundaries and make sure you donÂt do anything which could be misconstrued by your spouse as questionable behavior on your part. Now more than ever you need to honor the sacred bounds of your marriage if you want to save marriage, stop divorce.
Last of all, keep every promise you make. Whether it is a promise to call at a certain time, or to pick up something from the grocery store, or especially to be home at a certain time, you must follow through. And if something comes up and you are going to be late or canÂt call, be sure to let your spouse know as soon as possible.
Your marriage can recover from infidelity. You can save marriage, stop divorce if you show that you are 100% committed in your effort to regain and rebuild the trust that has been damaged. It may be a long uphill road, but if you truly want to save your marriage, then it is well worth the effort.
Many couples are looking for ways to save marriage, stop divorce after infidelity has nearly destroyed their marriage. An affair is devastating in many ways. One of the areas it damages the most is that of trust. If your marriage has been impacted by an affair, and trust has been shattered, divorce may seem like the likely outcome initially. But it doesnÂt have to go that route if you are willing to do the hard work of getting your marriage back on track.
Many couples do find a way to rebuild trust and get past the incredible hurt and betrayal. In fact, in some cases, the affair serves as a wake up call, and if the appropriate changes are made, the marriage becomes stronger than it ever was before. But in order to save marriage, stop divorce you must first find a way to start rebuilding the trust which was lost. Trust is an absolutely essential component of a healthy marriage. Following are some guidelines to help you get it back.
If you are the person who cheated, you must first be willing to take ownership of your actions. This means you canÂt blame anyone else, nor can you excuse it by saying something like, ÂIÂm only humanÂ. In order for your partner to trust you again and save marriage, stop divorce, you have to step up to the plate and accept that it was your choice. Do this regardless of what factors may have influenced you.
Second, you must be willing to answer any questions your spouse may have (and trust me, your spouse is going to demand some answers from you!). DonÂt try to hide anything at this point or you will destroy any hope of trust ever coming back into the relationship. This is going to be difficult and painful, and it is going to take courage. But honesty is paramount if you want to save marriage, stop divorce. YouÂve already severely blown it; donÂt make things even worse by lying now.
Third, if there were things bothering you in the marriage which you feel made you start seeking the comfort or closeness of another person, you need to address those. Doing this does not mean you are trying to excuse your behavior. But it is important that you be honest and up front about any frustration and dissatisfaction you were experiencing. You can only change it if you first acknowledge it. Couples who do successfully get past infidelity and save marriage, stop divorce, make the commitment to work on the problems that made their marriage vulnerable in the first place.
Fourth, be very careful about your actions, particularly around anyone who could be perceived by your spouse as a threat to your relationship. In other words, donÂt be spending a lot of time alone with another man (or woman) who is particularly attractive or aggressive or flirtatious. Set good boundaries and make sure you donÂt do anything which could be misconstrued by your spouse as questionable behavior on your part. Now more than ever you need to honor the sacred bounds of your marriage if you want to save marriage, stop divorce.
Last of all, keep every promise you make. Whether it is a promise to call at a certain time, or to pick up something from the grocery store, or especially to be home at a certain time, you must follow through. And if something comes up and you are going to be late or canÂt call, be sure to let your spouse know as soon as possible.
Your marriage can recover from infidelity. You can save marriage, stop divorce if you show that you are 100% committed in your effort to regain and rebuild the trust that has been damaged. It may be a long uphill road, but if you truly want to save your marriage, then it is well worth the effort.
