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Prevent Your Partner S Addiction Now
Problems With Marriage > > >
It's 3a.m, you're staring at the burning red numbers on the alarm clock that sits on your nightstand, and your thoughts are running a million miles a minute. Your significant other is out, again. You fear the worst ,and hope to hear the phone ring any moment. This has got to stop, you think to yourself, I can not continue to live like this. Well, if your significant other is near addiction, or already there, things are about to get a whole lot worse. Addiction can happen fast, extremely fast. Usually, people turn to drugs in times of crisis, grasping for something that will make their lives better or easier. Unfortunately, the vulnerability in their lives will be the factor that leads to an addiction. Don't think that all of the sudden the person you love will just stop using a powerful substance. They won't.
Something is driving them to use a drug, and until that underlying force is dealt with, they are not going to stop using. It can be extremely difficult to remove whatever problem caused a person to use drugs in the first place. Most likely, removing the drug producing obstacle can prove to be almost impossible. If it's a person's job, there's not much they can do, they may absolutely need that job to survive and feed their family. So, they will continually be driven to the drugs to alleviate their stress. And once they start using a drug, they will very likely not be physically able to stop, it may be nearly impossible. Especially if they are using a harder substance like cocaine. The brain will begin to physically change, making it impossible for a person to resist their drug of choice. The time to addiction varies from person to person, being dependent on genes, mental and physical health, and environment. A person can become addicted to a drug in a few weeks. Once a person is at or near addiction, your life, and theirs, will quickly lose touch with all reality.
Drugs cost money, and an addict will do anything to get their fix. If a savings account is available, they will start siphoning money off of it immediately. There will be fights about money being wasted, and your partner will just use that as an excuse to use more drugs. The whole scenario quickly spins out of control. If there is not enough money to support the addiction, your partner will do whatever is required to get that money. This often involves stealing or pawning possessions. If they steal, arrest is a very real possibility, and if they start pawning household items, and it works, then your house will soon have nothing in it. Using drugs is often a social activity, and if you're not participating, your significant other will find someone else who will. You will feel like a stranger when this happens; addiction will force your partner farther and farther away from you. This course of events will unfold quickly and painfully. Get as much support from family members and friends as you can, but also get professional support as quickly as possible.
Problems With Marriage > > >
BONUS : Problems with Marriage
If you are experiencing problems with marriage, trust me, you are not alone. That being said, you may feel alone as you try to figure out the real issues and find a way to resolve them. And in many situations, that is easier said than done. But it is not impossible.
Many problems with marriage begin with unrealistic expectations on the part of one or both partners. This is particularly typical of people who get married when they are quite young or have not had previous long-term relationships. Unrealistic expectations inevitably lead to frustration, and can also lead to anger and disappointment. Perhaps some of the challenges facing your marriage are due to impossible expectations about the relationship or your partner. Lets look at a few unrealistic myths which can lead to problems with marriage
Hollywood Romance
Hollywood is the great perpetuator of romantic fantasy. After all, thats what sells. Wouldnt it be great if all marriages were as perfect or as exciting as they are often portrayed on television or in the movies? After all, doesnt everyones husband leave a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom, where there are at least 100 candles burning and another 5 dozen roses worth of petals strewn on the bed? (Seriously, where does anyone store that many candles?)
This fantasy idea that it should always be incredibly romantic can create problems with marriage. The reality is quite different. This doesnt mean the romance has to end after I do, but it probably isnt going to be quite as glamorous or extreme as it is in the movies.
Perfect Partner
It can be a brutal wake-up call when you realize one morning that the person you married isnt as perfect as you thought. People who get married without really taking the time to know each other are particularly vulnerable to the problems with marriage which arise when they finally see the other person, warts and all, and realize that they have all sorts of flaws and short-comings.
Most people put their best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship. And some can hide their faults for quite a long time. To avoid problems with marriage like this really requires that you take the relationship slowly and dont put your significant other on a pedestal. He or she will fall off at some point. You can bet on it.
Happily Ever After
Fairy tales are great for kids, but at some point, we have to recognize them for what they are: fantasy. While Cinderella and Prince Charming blissfully disappeared into the castle at the end of the story, we never got to see what happened inside those towering walls a few years down the road. No doubt a glass slipper or two got shattered when one of them was upset!
Marriage is not always happy and peaceful. That would be great but it is not reality. Conflict is going to occur. You are not going to agree on everything and in fact, you may find that you disagree on several things. Thats okay, if you are mature enough to recognize and appreciate that you are two separate individuals with different perspectives, values, preferences, needs and feelings. Once you can accept that, your problems with marriage will be a lot less challenging.
Dont lose heart if you are experiencing problems with marriage. Check your expectations to see if perhaps they need to be altered a bit. Many couples find that by changing their expectations so that they are better aligned with reality, many problems will subside. If they dont, then it is time to look deeper. But most problems can be overcome if both of you are willing to put in the effort.
If you are experiencing problems with marriage, trust me, you are not alone. That being said, you may feel alone as you try to figure out the real issues and find a way to resolve them. And in many situations, that is easier said than done. But it is not impossible.
Many problems with marriage begin with unrealistic expectations on the part of one or both partners. This is particularly typical of people who get married when they are quite young or have not had previous long-term relationships. Unrealistic expectations inevitably lead to frustration, and can also lead to anger and disappointment. Perhaps some of the challenges facing your marriage are due to impossible expectations about the relationship or your partner. Lets look at a few unrealistic myths which can lead to problems with marriage
Hollywood Romance
Hollywood is the great perpetuator of romantic fantasy. After all, thats what sells. Wouldnt it be great if all marriages were as perfect or as exciting as they are often portrayed on television or in the movies? After all, doesnt everyones husband leave a trail of rose petals leading to the bedroom, where there are at least 100 candles burning and another 5 dozen roses worth of petals strewn on the bed? (Seriously, where does anyone store that many candles?)
This fantasy idea that it should always be incredibly romantic can create problems with marriage. The reality is quite different. This doesnt mean the romance has to end after I do, but it probably isnt going to be quite as glamorous or extreme as it is in the movies.
Perfect Partner
It can be a brutal wake-up call when you realize one morning that the person you married isnt as perfect as you thought. People who get married without really taking the time to know each other are particularly vulnerable to the problems with marriage which arise when they finally see the other person, warts and all, and realize that they have all sorts of flaws and short-comings.
Most people put their best foot forward in the early stages of a relationship. And some can hide their faults for quite a long time. To avoid problems with marriage like this really requires that you take the relationship slowly and dont put your significant other on a pedestal. He or she will fall off at some point. You can bet on it.
Happily Ever After
Fairy tales are great for kids, but at some point, we have to recognize them for what they are: fantasy. While Cinderella and Prince Charming blissfully disappeared into the castle at the end of the story, we never got to see what happened inside those towering walls a few years down the road. No doubt a glass slipper or two got shattered when one of them was upset!
Marriage is not always happy and peaceful. That would be great but it is not reality. Conflict is going to occur. You are not going to agree on everything and in fact, you may find that you disagree on several things. Thats okay, if you are mature enough to recognize and appreciate that you are two separate individuals with different perspectives, values, preferences, needs and feelings. Once you can accept that, your problems with marriage will be a lot less challenging.
Dont lose heart if you are experiencing problems with marriage. Check your expectations to see if perhaps they need to be altered a bit. Many couples find that by changing their expectations so that they are better aligned with reality, many problems will subside. If they dont, then it is time to look deeper. But most problems can be overcome if both of you are willing to put in the effort.
