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Marriage Relationship In Focus Strengthen It Today
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Why is it that after the marriage ceremony and the honeymoon everything between the couple goes back to normal? It is like a bright light that suddenly dims.
It seems like they have dreamed and then suddenly when they open their eyes, they find themselves back into reality. They fall back to their usual routines except that they are now sort of handcuffed together.
The only problem is there is no key for such handcuff or is there?
Well, the answer lies in the couples themselves.
Beginning a life with your partner, awkward moments can be experienced especially when you already have your own children. Your attention will be focused on them. Your romance will now be set side.
For your marriage to go smoothly, the best thing to do is for both of you to look back to the very basic of your relationship. Sort out the things to maintain the marriage. You should think about the time that you realized that you love each other and let that love flow through out.
Couples have to understand the differences of the way each of them views things. It is important that couples fully support each other especially on decision-making and each has to respect oneÂ’s decision as well. Remember the pledge you once both shared on your wedding day that you would be there for each other for better or for worse.
A good communication is the foundation of a good marital relationship. If one of you committed something or said something wrong, talk about it forget your pride and simply ask for forgiveness.
It important to express what you feel. Both of you should be good listeners as well. Couples should discuss everything including rules issues, problems and even little things.
Everyday, couples should show that they care for each other. As many times as possible, tell your spouse that you love him/her.
Do little stuff to show your affection, like take him to dinner or a movie treat would be a sweet idea. It is said that little things can produce large outcomes.
It is important and essential to understand that growing the relationship is one of your major priorities. Aside from this, couples should maintain a loving relationship. Each of you must be honest, patient and loyal.
Moreover, each of you must learn to take on a responsibility. Taking responsibility extends to your feelings, thoughts, defenses, and understanding.
As the saying goes, “Marriage is not a game.” The person you will be marrying is thus someone you will be stuck with for the rest of your life. A marriage though is destined to suffer some pain and grief. This is the reason why most marriage relationships fail.
Marriage is not simply what we thought we could just come and go or do anything as we pleased or do or not do the dishes. Marriage does not work that way.
Most marriages fail mainly because of things like pride, unselfishness and self-control. Most people say that like money, pride too is a source of evil. Financial and sexual problems are only minor ones.
Marriage can either be a source of happiness or bitterness. The success o your marriage depends upon the question of to what extent are you willing to sacrifice. This is the most likely question we should ask ourselves.
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BONUS : Marriage Saving Advice: Have A Soul Connection With Your Spouse Even If All Seems Lost
Many of us realize that marriage is not the easiest relationship in the world, but why is it so hard? Unless we adopt children, the only relatives that we get to choose are our spouses. Seems like it should work out, right? We can not change our parents or choose new siblings, but marriage-- ahh that's a whole different thing.
Marriage brings out the best and the worst in a person's character and shows us what we are capable of doing, both positive and negative. This special relationship challenges our mental, spiritual, social, and physical selves. Unfortunately, the natural human reaction to hard or stressful situations is fight or flight.
So after a few major disagreements with a spouse, frustrated partners second guess their initial decision to wed. The wheels start turning, and the flight response to the stressful situation becomes more and more attractive.
But what can you do if the fires of passion have burned out and only angry ones remain? How can you keep your soul connection with your spouse even during times of conflict?
1. Have confidence in the decision that you have made. Then realize that just like you wouldn't normally divorce your mom or dad when they get on your last nerve, divorcing your spouse shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mind when he/she annoys or disappoints you you repeatedly. I know it's hard, but it's a key factor in the success of your marriage.
2. If God is not at the center of your relationship, consider welcoming Him into the situation. To start, only one spouse needs to make this decision, but it's best if both of you are on the same page. Praying together, and as individuals, can provide a solid foundation for your marriage and give you greater insight into what concerns your partner the most.
You can start with your own words or with a few books on prayer. A book that has been helpful for me, and numerous people I know, has been, Stormie Omartian: Power of a Praying Wife. The book covers everything from finances and career to sexuality, affection and emotions. It shows wives how to pray for their husbands even if they feel like they don't have the words. And it gives excellent advice for channeling frustration, hurt or anger into productive energy.
If you are a husband, try Power of a Praying Husband. Stormie enlists the help of her husband and other men for insight and wisdom in writing this book.
3. Make mutual respect a priority in your communication. If you find yourselves attacking each other personally, instead of discussing the pros and cons of a particular decision or action, then take a step back to reevaluate the situation. Choose words that reaffirm while getting your point across. For example, instead of saying: "I hate it when you don't make time to be with me... the kids... etc." TRY "Remember when we did XYZ? That was so much fun and the kids loved it too. Want to do it again?" SPOUSE'S REPLY HERE "Great! What date works for you?"
Additionally, don't let other family members--kids, in-laws, steps, exes cloud your communication with each other. When they want to butt in, *respectfully* tell them to butt out. Then re-prioritize and refocus your attention on each other.
4. Listen even if you feel like you've heard the same statement hashed over and over again. Sometimes venting is necessary, and if your spouse can't release his/her mental baggage with you, to whom will they voice their concerns? The lack of listening skills in marriage is one reason emotional infidelity gets started in the first place. If you take the time to listen now, you can avoid the headaches and heartaches associated with these extramarital relationships.
5. Start a ritual just for the two of you. Ideally, you'll both take time out to do it every day or a few times a week. Engaging in ritual behavior, like sharing coffee, watching funny movies together or taking walks, gives you something to look forward to and can help you build intimacy.
6. Consider an organized marriage retreat. Retreats are great because, the facilitators give couples helpful tools for communicating, relating and often mating. You'll see other couples who are going through the same challenges, and you'll have time to focus solely on your relationship. No work, no kids/in-laws, no well-meaning friends, and no focusing on the ills of life.
7. Finally, make a point to get away every once in a while. This idea dovetails from the previous suggestion, but this time you and your honey will be alone. Whether you get your kids out of the house for a weekend or you book a seven day vacation to the Bahamas, it is necessary for you and your husband or wife to have extended alone time without any distractions.
These are just a few suggestions to help you renew the soul connection with your spouse. When http://married4good.com/ officially launches in November, we'll have tons of articles and resources on the site to help you build a solid relationship. Make sure to visit us and get additional ideas for strengthening your marriage.
Many of us realize that marriage is not the easiest relationship in the world, but why is it so hard? Unless we adopt children, the only relatives that we get to choose are our spouses. Seems like it should work out, right? We can not change our parents or choose new siblings, but marriage-- ahh that's a whole different thing.
Marriage brings out the best and the worst in a person's character and shows us what we are capable of doing, both positive and negative. This special relationship challenges our mental, spiritual, social, and physical selves. Unfortunately, the natural human reaction to hard or stressful situations is fight or flight.
So after a few major disagreements with a spouse, frustrated partners second guess their initial decision to wed. The wheels start turning, and the flight response to the stressful situation becomes more and more attractive.
But what can you do if the fires of passion have burned out and only angry ones remain? How can you keep your soul connection with your spouse even during times of conflict?
1. Have confidence in the decision that you have made. Then realize that just like you wouldn't normally divorce your mom or dad when they get on your last nerve, divorcing your spouse shouldn't be the first thing that comes to mind when he/she annoys or disappoints you you repeatedly. I know it's hard, but it's a key factor in the success of your marriage.
2. If God is not at the center of your relationship, consider welcoming Him into the situation. To start, only one spouse needs to make this decision, but it's best if both of you are on the same page. Praying together, and as individuals, can provide a solid foundation for your marriage and give you greater insight into what concerns your partner the most.
You can start with your own words or with a few books on prayer. A book that has been helpful for me, and numerous people I know, has been, Stormie Omartian: Power of a Praying Wife. The book covers everything from finances and career to sexuality, affection and emotions. It shows wives how to pray for their husbands even if they feel like they don't have the words. And it gives excellent advice for channeling frustration, hurt or anger into productive energy.
If you are a husband, try Power of a Praying Husband. Stormie enlists the help of her husband and other men for insight and wisdom in writing this book.
3. Make mutual respect a priority in your communication. If you find yourselves attacking each other personally, instead of discussing the pros and cons of a particular decision or action, then take a step back to reevaluate the situation. Choose words that reaffirm while getting your point across. For example, instead of saying: "I hate it when you don't make time to be with me... the kids... etc." TRY "Remember when we did XYZ? That was so much fun and the kids loved it too. Want to do it again?" SPOUSE'S REPLY HERE "Great! What date works for you?"
Additionally, don't let other family members--kids, in-laws, steps, exes cloud your communication with each other. When they want to butt in, *respectfully* tell them to butt out. Then re-prioritize and refocus your attention on each other.
4. Listen even if you feel like you've heard the same statement hashed over and over again. Sometimes venting is necessary, and if your spouse can't release his/her mental baggage with you, to whom will they voice their concerns? The lack of listening skills in marriage is one reason emotional infidelity gets started in the first place. If you take the time to listen now, you can avoid the headaches and heartaches associated with these extramarital relationships.
5. Start a ritual just for the two of you. Ideally, you'll both take time out to do it every day or a few times a week. Engaging in ritual behavior, like sharing coffee, watching funny movies together or taking walks, gives you something to look forward to and can help you build intimacy.
6. Consider an organized marriage retreat. Retreats are great because, the facilitators give couples helpful tools for communicating, relating and often mating. You'll see other couples who are going through the same challenges, and you'll have time to focus solely on your relationship. No work, no kids/in-laws, no well-meaning friends, and no focusing on the ills of life.
7. Finally, make a point to get away every once in a while. This idea dovetails from the previous suggestion, but this time you and your honey will be alone. Whether you get your kids out of the house for a weekend or you book a seven day vacation to the Bahamas, it is necessary for you and your husband or wife to have extended alone time without any distractions.
These are just a few suggestions to help you renew the soul connection with your spouse. When http://married4good.com/ officially launches in November, we'll have tons of articles and resources on the site to help you build a solid relationship. Make sure to visit us and get additional ideas for strengthening your marriage.
