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The Importance Of Teaching Your Children Good Anger Management Skills
In this article I write about a parents role in teaching their child good anger management skills. How many times have you been shopping in for example a supermarket and witnessed an over-aggressive parent shouting at their child? This is exactly what not to do, that parent is giving a very bad example to their child in this example.
It is very important that we act as good role models and set good examples for our children. Two bickering parents who are constantly at each others throats or shouting orders at their children to be quiet for example, relays the wrong message to that child. If that child then has problems controlling their own anger, it should hardly come as a shock to their mom or dads.
A calm house is a happy house. Both parents are going to argue and have their differences, however they need to be adult enough to wait to discuss their issues once the kids have gone out or are in bed. I am aware that this is not always easy to carry off, but if both parents are in agreement, it can be achieved.
I am a parent myself and am certainly not a perfect dad. I actually kind of cheat as I have a bribing system in place. I have told my children that all I expect of them is to try their best, as long as they do this, it does not matter what grades they achieve. Two years ago my step-daughter who is now twelve started to play up, especially at school. I was quite shocked when I attended her parents evening to find out that she had not handed in her homework, that she had made little effort in the past couple of terms and that she had been disruptive to other members of her class.
To say I was unhappy with her is an under-statement. I was very angry, however told her that I did not want to speak about it until we arrived home. This was my way of controlling my own anger. When we had arrived home, I stated to her that I was upset about what I had heard and informed her that if she had done well, I would have bought her anything that she wanted, up to a certain amount of money. She was quite shocked by that and stated, even the England football kit. I said that I would have but that she was not having it now. I did however agree that if she did well during the next few terms, that I would.
She has never looked back since, but my bank manager is not happy with the situation. We also have a weekly bribe. If both of my children behave during the week they can choose a toy of their choice on the Saturday, again within reason. If and it often happens they do not deserve the toy, I have no need to become angry as they just do not get the reward. This makes them annoyed. but teaches them a huge lesson.
You may think that I am cheating but it works for us and we live in a very happy, chilled out house.
In conclusion, it is important to act they same way that you want your children to. If you are always angry and aggressive, they are also likely to be.
BONUS : The Joy Of Becoming A Father
In this article I write about my joy of becoming a parent and about how my life has changed since the birth of my son. It came as quite a shock to me a few years ago when my girlfriend told me that she was pregnant. We had in truth been trying for a baby, but I never thought it would happen. I am not really sure why this was, I am stupid I know. I have to admit that I was quite scared at first but now feel very lucky and he has truly changed my life in a positive way.
Around a week before my son was born, I decided to go out for a few beers with a couple of friends. It was like one last night out of freedom before being thrust into parenthood. During this particular night I remember thinking something like, I will miss this. For some reason I actually thought that becoming a father would end any social life that I had and would be the start of a life of choirs.
The feeling of emotion and happiness when I first set eyes on and held my son is very hard to describe . He was so small and light. I was handed some milk to feed him and he soon started to knock it back, a bit like me with the beer I thought to myself. My girlfriend left the room to have a bath and I was left in the room on my own, holding the baby as they say. I could not stop staring at him, he was so perfect. Scared, what an idiot I thought, you are the luckiest man alive.
My whole attitude to life has now changed, in the past socialising with my friends was a massive part of my life. Even though I still do go out with them, I have to say it is probably only around half as much as I used to. You might think I am sad but when I am out I do miss all of my family including my son.
Every morning he is the first one to wake up and walks into our room and says, morning! I wake up and there in front of me is my son with a beaming smile on his face. Can you get me some breakfast dad please? He loves his food! This is the best type of alarm I have ever had.
I have always been the type of person who is often anxious and stressed. This can even turn into a period of sustained depression. Nowadays whenever I feel any of these symptoms I spend as much time as possible with my son as he soon puts a smile back onto my face.
I feel very sorry for people who are unable to have children and find it very hard to understand people who choose not to have any.
I am as you can no doubt tell, a very proud parent and would do anything for my son. Even when he is naughty I find it hard to be angry at him for more than about two minutes. I have recently spent a weekend at a friends stag party. I have to say it was a lot of fun and I had a great time but despite all of this I could not wait to get back home.
I now have something to really live for and the future is really exciting for possibly the first time in my life.
There are many things that I am looking forward to including:
Taking my son for his first beer
Taking my son to watch the football
Taking my son to play snooker
Seeing my son with his first girlfriend
Becoming a grandad
These of course are just a small number of many things which really excite me in the future.
For any people out there who are unsure about whether they wany to become a parent, I can honestly say that from a personal experience it has been amazing.