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Inappropriate Behavior As A "teachable Moment"
Two boys in a first grade classroom were arguing loudly over an item they both wanted to use at the same time.
Their teacher approached them in a friendly way and said, Boys, it sounds like you two are having a problem. Lets talk it out.
One of the boys told his side of the story, his face still tense but his voice lowered to an indoor volume. The second boy listened and then, without any prompting, came up with a solution to which the first boy readily agreed.
Great job! the teacher beamed. See? You can talk it out!
A TEACHING PERSPECTIVE CAN PRODUCE AMAZING RESULTS WHEN KIDS BEHAVE INAPPROPRIATELY.
If we as parents approach unwanted behavior with the idea that our job is to be the judge/jury/jailer, our first impulse may be to punish.
But punishment doesnt teach kids what they SHOULD be doing. It doesnt expand kids problem-solving skills, teach them how to repair social mistakes, or improve their social perception.
Fortunately, punishment isnt the only available tool.
WE CAN CHOOSE TO VIEW THE INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR AS A TEACHABLE MOMENT.
When the teacher in the story above heard the two boys arguing, she spotted a chance to teach better social problem-solving.
Inviting the boys to talk it out reminded them of their capacity to problem-solve without shouting or arguing. They saw that talking it out could work, and they were more likely to talk it out next time.
A teaching perspective has room for punishment in some cases, but the focus is on helping kids learn the skills they need to behave appropriately.
If we view inappropriate behavior as a learning opportunity for the child, new options open up.
HERE ARE TEN CHOICES FOR MAKING THE MOST OF A TEACHABLE MOMENT:
1. Redirect the child toward a more appropriate activity.
2. Inform the child that what theyre doing isnt a good idea or isnt safe.
3. Give a friendly reminder about the rule the child needs to be following.
4. Guide the child through the steps of apologizing.
5. Ask the child to consider how others feel when she engages in the inappropriate behavior.
6. Help the child make amends to anyone negatively affected by the inappropriate behavior. Ask, What can we do to help (name of person) feel better now?
7. In the case of a conflict, prompt the children to talk it out, providing assistance as needed.
8. Give a new rule, if the situation wasnt covered by the rules the child has already been taught.
9. Invite the child to think of a better to way to ask for what they want or need in the situation.
10. Teach the child appropriate words/behaviors to replace the inappropriate ones.
The rules of appropriate social behavior take a long time to learn and an even longer time to internalize as habits. Even adults dont do it perfectly!
When we use our childs behavior mistakes as opportunities to offer guidance, were giving our child their best chance to become more kind, responsible and socially competent.
© Norma Schmidt, LLC (limited liability corporation)
BONUS : Indigo/crystal Phenomena: Add/adhd Children
Who are these Indigo and Crystal Children? Am I one? How can I help my own child who seems to be one?
There are many things that we can do to help these new breed of children, but the most important thing to know is that the Indigo/Crystal phenomenon is the next big step in our human evolution. We all are, in some way or another, becoming more like the Indigo and Crystal people. The more one chooses to consciously work towards change, the faster the results will be for that individual. This new breed of children (which truly isnt all that new, just massive amounts now) have come to show us the way as we have forgotten. They are our mirrors. Which simply means they mirror what is inside of us, all that needs to change in order to evolve or raise our consciousness. They have come here to help change the vibrations of our lives and to create peace, balance and harmony.
Therefore, the Indigos have emerged to knock down the old outdated systems! They are warriors and they are on a mission! They create chaos everywhere they go. They can sense dishonesty a mile away and are unable to conform to dysfunctional situations within their homes, schools and work places. Gone are the days of threatening wait till your father gets home, or youll be suspended, the Indigos dont care! They have inner-lie detectors and will not be manipulated nor fall for hidden agendas. They are very head strong and do not like to be told what to do, nor do they want to do it your way. If we do not break out of our old control habits, threat habits or any other destructive behaviour, they will show us that we must learn new methods in order for peace to prevail! This is done through heart connections, with love. They simply do not have the ability to disassociate from their feelings and pretend that everything is okay. They respond the best to all situations when they are treated like a respected adult. If we are acting childish in a manipulating, hurtful way, they will mirror back to us our own behaviour. This causes more frustration within ourself than it does within them! Their goal is for US to change, not them. Their horns toot Treat others as you would want to be treated! They are not shy in letting you know exactly what they need. Watch them. They have no hidden agenda. They are our teachers!
The Indigos are creating chaos with the end result being a peaceful, loving world. Many, but not all Indigos are labeled by the medical world as Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder or more commonly known as ADD/ADHD because they cant be still, they cant focus, they bore easily, they are impulsive and they do things super fast. Giving them medication is not the answer! That is once again a control factor not to mention all the detrimental health problems including death that occurs from these types of medications. Indigo and Crystal children are extremely intelligent and need their minds stimulated with things they enjoy to do. They have amazing memories and are gifted souls with an evolved consciousness. They need to be taught in a different way, through subjects they love that stimulate their whole beings! We are moving beyond the mind and into the heart. These Indigo children will not conform to the old ritual text book teachings. This system is old and needs to be replaced. They are trying to show the teachers of the school systems that they need a new way of learning. This is beginning to happen.
How can you tell if you are an Indigo? A good way to test yourself is to answer the following:
- Are you always searching for your greater purpose in life but feel like the world isnt set up for your kind?
- Do you feel wise beyond your years?
- Do you have trouble conforming to the ways of society?
- Do you feel out of place in todays world?
- Do you perceive the world very differently than most people around you?
- Do you have strong intuition about certain things that most others do not?
- Do you often feel misunderstood when you try to talk to people about whats real?
- Do you feel like you were born to accomplish a special mission in life?
- Do you feel isolated and alone in your beliefs?
- Misunderstood by family? Perhaps the black sheep of the family?
- Do you feel anti-social unless you are with people of like mind?
- Are you emotionally sensitive?
- Did you have a difficult childhood?
- Do you often feel disempowered by too much authority?
If you can answer yes to these questions, then you are most likely an Indigo. If you want outside validation than you may want to find a person who has honed the gift of clairvoyance, the gift of seeing what most people do not. The clairvoyant person while looking at you or tuning into your energy field, will be able to tell if you are Indigo or not by the colour of your aura which is the invisible energy field surrounding your physical body. You can also have an aura photo taken to see for yourself your own colours.
So what can I do to help my child?
Through my own experience, I have learnt that it is extremely important to have harmonious energy within our environments, to stay grounded and keep shielded. I believe if this small piece of advice hit mainstream schools it would make a huge difference in all the kids temperaments! I am an Indigo/Crystal and a single mom or four Indigo/Crystal children and know first hand that if the energy within our home is off the children are wild! They will be much more aggressive towards one another, more fighting, crying and very restless. They have more temper tantrums and mood swings and refuse any kind of authority! When the home is energetically balanced, they are much more relaxed, calm, gentle and peaceful. Ahh, normal kids!
Leaving our energetically balanced, sacred space to go out into public places, un-protected is a living nightmare! The change within my childrens temperament is like watching Jekyll and Hyde! Onlookers or unaware people would perceive this to be children that are wild or have had way too much sugar or more commonly the mother has no control. My oldest child especially is affected. Hes ten and has been diagnosed as ADHD. When we finally get back inside our vehicle and start the drive home, they all will have begun to calm down. (I have adjusted the energy of our vehicle to be harmonious as well.) Not long after we have entered our house, usually they have begun to crash. Its similar to a sugar high, they are at their peak of explosion in public because of the denser energies and when they get back into their own frequency they start to burn out because of the chaos their bodies have experienced! Talk about detrimental to their health. I have provided a list of things below that work wonderfully well for us in creating our sacred environment and other things to empower my Indigo/Crystal Kids.
- BREATHE! Breathing moves energy. When they are frustrated, scared, hyper, etc. ask them to Stop and Breathe deeply. Inhale through the nose and exhale through the mouth. Tell them to really exert the out blow, like blowing out your anger! Make it fun and do it with them.
- Smudge your home to help clear the distracting vibrations. This needs to be done immediately after a blow up of any sort and on a regular basis. Make it part of your house cleaning routine! I smudge a lot, sometimes daily depending upon what the kids have picked up from school. This truly makes an amazing difference!
- Staying Grounded is very important. There are many methods of how this is done. I personally like something that is fast and easy to do. Intention and visualizing are quick easy methods and can be done in a second at anytime, without anyone even noticing! The first thing I do is ask Gaia (Mother Earth) her permission for my grounding cord to enter the core of her being. Then I visualize a clear cord or clear rope coming from my root chakra (tail bone area) and entering Gaia. It grows in length, and continues to grow until it has been fully anchored into the core of Gaia. This grounding cord releases negative energy and also brings in positive energy. Set your intention to send all the negative energy down this cord, physically exhale, releasing it into Gaia. After the negative energy has all been released, with intention bring up the positive life-giving earth energy with a physical inhale. Thank Gaia and do not worry that this will hurt her, it doesnt! Have your kids make a monkey chain cord. Its the intention that works!
- Staying Shielded is also very important. Indigos and Crystals are extremely sensitive. Their highly tuned energy fields pick up negative emotions and environmental energy from their surroundings like a sponge which cause severe mood swings. Imagine being in a room where there are four depressed people, three angry people and the room itself has not been energetically cleared from all the emotional yuck for years! The Indigo unknowingly will pick up all this energy and take it on as their own! And people wonder why they are labeled as ADHD! Teach them to create and surround themselves with the bubble of white light protection every morning! This repels the negative energy around them but allows the positive energy to enter. The bubble would look like a soap bubble with them inside of it.
- EXERCISE. It is important for exercise to remain a part of all of our lives, but this also helps the Indigo/Crystal Children to rid themselves of excess energy as their nervous systems are wired differently than others. Excellent exercise outlets to release what they are holding in their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies are: Martial Arts, Yoga, Karate, Tai-Chi, Dance Classes, Running, Skipping, Gymnastics: Anything they love that gets them moving!
- Bring nature indoors. Lots of beautiful plants, rocks, crystals, waterfalls, aquariums etc.
- A quiet space with no electrical equipment in the room. This is a room for them to just BE. Do whatever they love to do in their quiet time. Be it art work, read, puzzles, lego blocks, etc.
- Nightly baths in sea salt. Be sure to drink extra water as this pulls toxins from the physical body and also clears negative energies from the energetic body.
- Put sea salt on their names with their permission. The salt pulls out all the negative energies that no longer serve them. Let this sit for 24 hours, then dump the salt into the toilet.
- The removal of all artificial scents is a must! Use only the highest quality oils and unscented beeswax candles.
- Play dolphin, orca, and angelic relaxing music. Screaming chaotic music is only going to disturb their energy.
- Keep all electrical stuff out of their bedrooms. They simply cant tolerate the very dangerous electromagnetic waves these devices send out. This will help them sleep deeply and peacefully.
- Be honest with them at all times with no manipulation about all things, toning it down to their age level. If you dont you will have a war on your hands!
- Reiki Energy Healing, Sound Healing, and other alternative healing methods are recommended for healing, balancing, rejuvenating and empowering not just Indigos but all of us!
We are moving into a wonderful new world where peace will reside! Thats a beautiful thing.