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Focus On The Family Can Working Mothers Have Their Cake And Eat

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Focus On The Family: Can Working Mothers Have Their Cake And Eat It Too Without Parenting Burnout?

Not long ago “bringing home the bacon” was the father’s role but now working mothers are “bringing home the bacon” too. Today, 50% of the mothers in our country (with children living at home) are working full time and most experience the stress of trying to balance it all especially when it comes to parenting. Sound familiar?

The Only Way Working Mothers Can Have It All

Although working mothers bring home some of the bacon (and if you are a single mother all of the bacon), it hasnÂ’t changed the fact that most working mothers are literally cooking the bacon too.

In The Widening Gap: Why American Working Families are in Jeopardy and What Can Be Done About, Dr Jody Heymann found that 80% of women report doing far more of the household chores than their spouse. In addition to taking on more chores, it is common for working mothers to have unrealistic expectations of themselves—parenting perfectly and being the perfect career woman also.

When asked if it is possible for working mothers to have it all, I always answer, “Yes. It is possible for working mothers to have it all but only when they ask for and accept help.”

The trouble is most working mothers have difficulty doing this—asking for help.

Preventing Working Mother Parenting Burnout

Even though most moms know it take a village to raise a child, most mothers donÂ’t ask their village for help. This puts undue pressure on moms and their families.

Three simple ways mothers can ask for help and prevent parenting burnout:

Parenting is a big job in and of itself. Get real. You canÂ’t do it all, by yourself. Realize that the best thing you can do for your family is to ask for help. Burning your candle at both ends only leads to burnout parenting!

Graciously accept help. When someone asks if they can help you, always answer “yes” and then figure out how. Let others in your life, especially your children and spouse, help you more. Remember to thank them and focus on what they did well so they will want to help you in future.

Find ways to farm out the things you donÂ’t like to do. DonÂ’t like to iron? Consider sending them to the cleaner and use this extra time to focus on your family. DonÂ’t like to clean but love to cook? Trade chores with household members or with a girlfriend who loves to do the things you donÂ’t.

How Mothers Can Focus on the Family and Get Their Work Done

The day you die your inbox will have messages unanswered, your laundry hamper will hold dirty clothes and your to do list will have items left incomplete. But on that day, will you look back and feel that your focus on the family was a fulfilling parenting journey, or sadly realize it had become a chore you felt you had to do?

Make certain your focus on the family is satisfying by choosing to balance your work and family by finally hanging up your “Super Mom” cape and letting others help you.
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BONUS : Follow Through Is The Key To Successful Discipline

Let's face it. There are just some days when it would just seem easier to let your child have his way than feeling like you're fighting a losing battle when trying to discipline them. They beg, plead, cry, barter and scream - anything to get out of doing the time for their crime.

However, don't lose your strength and your will during this time. It's times like these when consistent disciplinary action is imperative to teaching your child positive and acceptable behaviors. There is no room for negotiation when it comes to bad behaviors and there should be no room for exceptions when it comes time for punishing misdeeds or bad behavior.

Hopefully before any misdeeds occur, you've sat down with your child and discussed the consequences of misdeeds and inappropriate behavior or decisions. Be concise and consistent when discussing these consequences so that when the time to implement them comes, you can follow through with ease.

Children are classically testing the boundaries and limits set on them on a continual basis, and the temptation to 'bend the rules' just once or twice can be overwhelming when they're really trying your patience. But be firm yet fair. Emphasize that this was the understood consequence for this particular misdeed or inappropriate action, and that now is not the time to negotiate.

Afterwards, take time out to discuss the situation with your child, and if it seems that perhaps a consequence that worked at first isn't working anymore, rethink that punishment and negotiate with your child. Of course, parameters that are set for their well-being or safety should never be negotiated. But in other instances, it may be time to develop a new consequence based on your child's age, temperament or maturity level.

It's also imperative that your spouse and any other adult caregivers are all on the same page and following through on punishments with the same level of consistency and clarity. Should you determine that what was once working isn't working anymore and develop a new parameter, be sure all adult caregivers are brought into the loop so that follow through remains consistent and clear.


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