Better Off Alone

Better Off Alone!

For the uninitiated, a 'quirkyalone' is a person who enjoys being single. Although not averse to the idea of a relationship, they would rather stay alone than date just for the sake of dating.

The concept originally began as a personality type. Among a diverse group of people who identified with it (married, single, divorced, or widowed) soon grew to become something more.

A new, articulated set of ideas on relationships expressed through vocabulary: quirkyalone, quirkyslut, and quirkytogether (the quirkyalone way of being in a long term romantic relationship).

Quirkyalone is not anti-love. It is pro-love. It is not anti-dating. It is anti-compulsory dating. Although quirkyalones enjoy solitude, and sometimes even need and crave it, they are not loners. They typically have a strong network of friends and most place a high premium on friendship. Some have even been known to bring friends on dates!

They are part of a growing population in our society who live full and fun lives without feeling the need for a formal material relationship. In fact many quirkyalones see no reason to date for the purpose of sex. Their approach to being with others has more to do with friendship without the need for a primary relationship. It's their desire for independence, for any number of reasons, which precludes the necessity for a "significant other" in their lives.

It also spawned a holiday. International Quirkyalone Day (February 14, of course!) is a Do-It-Yourself celebration of romance, friendship, and independent spirit.

As the term's use becomes more frequent in our culture, other terms such as "old maid", "spinster," and "confirmed bachelor" are facing extinction. However, even though this new all-inclusive term stands a good chance of catching on.

Whether it's their need to invest themselves in a career or a mindset that simply cannot see themselves in a marital relationship, the message to the rest of us is that they should be both understood and accepted.

ARE YOU A "QUIRKYALONE?"

Always wondered why you like to be by yourself and why the opposite gender just doesn't interest you anymore? Answer 'yes' or 'no' to the following questions to see how quirkyalone you are.

1) You have a talent for self-reflection.

2) You're excited about a successful, interesting life with or without a mate.

3) You create and maintain chosen clusters of friends.

4) You see life as a big choose-your-own-adventure kind of thing.

5) You support the idea of dating but not necessarily for the purpose of sex.

6) You prefer solitude to a relationship where you have to restrain n essential part of yourself.

7) You have a general compulsion to leave a mark on culture or society, to express yourself either through art, business, literature, or even social activism.

8) You recognise the ways society dictates happiness, primarily through romantic love, and believe this approach to a human failing.

9) You have had a taste or glimpse of a great relationship/encounter, which intensified your desire to be open to a similar experience again.

10) Your talent to deconstruct of love songs is equal only to your vulnerability to them.

Answers:

0 to 3 "Yes" responses: Sorry, but you're not a quirkyalone. You should sign up with an Internet dating service right now and dig out all the singles in your area.

4 to 6 "Yes" responses: You are a borderline quirkyalone. This means that you may still want to live with another almost quirkyalone and be a quirkyalone couple or might just want to sleep in your own room while your significant other sleeps in his/her own room.

7 to 10 "Yes" responses: You are definitely a quirkyalone. Instead of romancing another person, you will spend your life romancing life for all it's worth. Along with a growing segment of a society who are committed to remaining single, you now can refer to everyone like yourself using one single word.

BONUS : Beware Of Russian Dating Scams

This has gotten so bad the U.S. embassy has issued alerts to warn people about this. Here are the basics from the embassy.

United States citizens should be alert to attempts at fraud by persons claiming to live in Russia professing friendship, romantic interest, and /or marriage intentions over the Internet.

Typically, once a connection is made, the correspondent asks the U.S. citizen to send money or credit card information for living expenses, travel expenses, or "visa costs". Sometimes, the correspondent notifies the American citizen that a close family member, usually the mother, is in desperate need of surgery and begins to request monetary assistance. Scams have even advanced to the point where the U.S. citizen is informed of a serious or fatal accident to the correspondent and the “family” asks for money to cover hospital or funeral costs. Several citizens have reported losing thousands of dollars through such scams.

The anonymity of the Internet means that the U.S. citizen cannot be sure of the real name, age, marital status, nationality, or even gender of the correspondent. In every case reported to the embassy, the correspondent turned out to be a fictitious persona created only to lure the U.S. citizen into sending money.

These scammers have created male as well as female characters and entice same sex correspondents as well as those of the opposite sex. A disturbing recent twist are scammers who have connected to U.S. citizens through chat rooms for HIV positive individuals, posed as HIV positive individuals themselves, and asked for money for treatment or travel to the United States.

Correspondents who quickly move to professions of romantic interest or discussion of intimate matters are likely inventions of scammers. A request for funds almost always marks a fraudulent correspondent. U.S. citizens are cautioned against sending any money to persons they have not actually met. If they do choose to send money, they can take several precautions.

-They may refer to U.S. immigration web site for authoritative information about the immigration process and the true costs involved. For example, U.S. law does not require Russian visitors to have a certain amount of "pocket money" or "walking around money" in either rubles or dollars.

- They may arrange to prepay for a plane ticket directly with the carrier rather than wiring money for transportation to the traveler.
- If the correspondent provides an image of a purported U.S. visa as proof of intention to travel, the U.S. citizen may contact the United States Embassy in Moscow to ascertain the validity of the visa.

Be careful. Be skeptical. Think and then do your research.