Your Online Dating Profile How To Present Yourself Online

Your Online Dating Profile – How To Present Yourself Online

For many people, the hardest part of starting to date online is figuring out what to put in their profile. All dating sites offer their members a profile page, where each member can write about his or herself, upload a photo (or several) etc. What you write about yourself in the profile is extremely important: second only to the picture in terms of making other members aware of who you are and making them want to contact you.

Many people are keen to start searching for and contacting people as soon as they join a site. As a result, they either leave their profile blank, or write something quickly before beginning their search. This is OK if you’re just having a look around, but if you are serious about finding love online, you should take some time and make sure your profile is a good reflection of who you are. After all, it’s what makes you stand out from the rest of the people on the site.

Here are a few points to keep in mind:

Not too long, not too short

Try to write a profile that is detailed enough to tell people about you, but short enough to leave people wanting more. Writing a full length essay is a waste of time as most people wouldn’t bother reading it all. If someone did read it through and contacted you, you probably wouldn’t have anything left to talk about!

Be yourself

It’s easy to lie when writing a profile, but more difficult to follow through once you meet someone. If your profile says you’re 6’4” when you’re really 5’11”, your cover will be blown as soon as you turn up for your date. Also, starting a relationship with a lie is a sure way to get off to a bad start.

Unfortunately, even people who are honest and well-meaning sometimes lie unintentionally in their profile, by trying to write it in a way that they think would make them more attractive to other people. If you want to attract a likeminded person, you have to be honest about who you are, your hobbies and interests etc.

Don’t be too demanding

Many people use their profiles to list the qualities they would like their ideal match to have. There is nothing wrong with that, but make sure you balance this with information about yourself. You don’t want to come across as writing a ransom note.

Too much information

Avoid mentioning past disappointments and bad break-ups in your profile; this is not what the space is for. Think: do you really want this to be the first thing people see when they look you up? Don’t let yourself be defined by negative aspects of your personality and bad experiences of the past.

Make it funny

Using humour is a good way to liven up a profile and give people a glimpse into your personality. Some of the most successful profiles are the ones that simply make people laugh. Including a joke you find funny is good, as long as you make sure you write something about yourself in the profile as well.

Be original

Anyone can write “I have a good sense of humour”, but not anyone could make you laugh. When writing about yourself, don’t just use a list of adjectives. Try to go deeper and give people examples of what you actually mean. A good way of doing this is starting off with a list of adjectives and then using each one as a starting point for a few lines of text.

Upload a picture

Even the least shallow people want to know who they’re talking to. Not having a photo on your profile will make many people ignore you completely. Some people even specify in their search that they only want to speak to people whose picture appears on the site. Don’t worry about your looks. Different people have different tastes and not everyone expects to meet a movie star or a supermodel online. A clear headshot of you smiling is all it takes to seriously increase the amount of responses you get.

Be consistent

Make sure your profile, your screen name and your picture all match the impression you want to give. If you are a woman looking for a serious relationship, calling yourself “SexKitten” and uploading a semi-nude picture of yourself, is not likely to attract the kind of man you’re looking for. A man looking for a wife, should probably not use a username that hints about how good he is in bed.

Remember: your profile is the first (and often last) impression you will make to potential online matches. Make it count.

BONUS : Your Sexual Past - Does It Bother Your Boyfriend?

The last thing your boyfriend wants to think about is another guy having been with you (whether we're talking about sex or just hooking up). Envisioning some other guy getting down with you can literally drive him crazy.

Have you had a checkered sexual history that's filled with lots of experience? If so, your boyfriend might have trouble dealing with this. But this is something that he must accept.

Don't you dare let someone else throw your past in your face or hold it against you. If it's ancient history (or only a few months ago), let it stay there, and move on.

He must accept you for all that you areIf he's chosen to be with you...he needs to accept you for all that you are. And that means everything. It doesn't mean he has to like your sexual history, of course, but it means he can't hold it against you. It's completely unfair for him to want to date you and then start knit-picking about details from your past.

If he's constantly bringing up your pastTell him flat out that he's going to have to accept everything about you if he wants to date you. Let him know he has two choices:

a) You two break up

b) You two stay together...but he can never mention your sexual past ever again. Never. Not even when you two are fighting.

Learn from your mistakes and move onThe few moments of pleasure that come from sex and hooking up can have a permanent effect on you reputation and self-esteem. If you've chosen to change your "free loving" ways, you're doing the right thing and that's what matters most. On the other hand, if you’ve only had a few hookup and your man is making a major issue about it, you might want to rethink whether you really need to date such a puritanical person.