The Role Of Secrecy In Romance Scams

The Role Of Secrecy In Romance Scams

The menace of romance scams again re-echoed recently at the media –hyped trial of the wife of a clergyman who allegedly murdered her husband.

She apparently had cashed some fraudulent checks sent to her by a fraud syndicate working from Nigeria and Canada.

She seemed to have sent some money to the fraudsters, and was said to have tried to cover up the fraud with the bank officials.

It was during an argument with her husband, a minister in the Methodist church, over this expense that she allegedly shot him.

This story should tell anyone who cares to listen one home truth-that romance scams and other related crimes are very real, and they are affecting the lives of many more people than was previously thought, both in the United States and elsewhere.

While very few of such cases will ever hit the National limelight and be as sensational as the one described above, the reality is that many people are being harmed by romance scams than was previously thought.

One of the major factors that make people to succumb to these scams so easily is secrecy.

The tendency among those who are involved in online dating is to keep details about their dates a secret to themselves.

From all I have seen, heard and read, many people who have fallen for the scams kept the knowledge of the relationship away from anyone, including those who should know about it.

And when a close person to them either got to know somehow, or got a hint as to what was going on, they literally got mad with them.

Some scam victim’s keep on dating the guy or girl for months, keeping everything about him or her secret.

The scammers seem to encourage this sort of thing too.

With time, when the scammers have worked hard to gain the trust and confidence of their potential target, then the fraudulent checks, money orders, credit cards and other fraudulent items involved in the scam begin to arrive.

The warning signals are always there quite alright, but by this time, the victim is far too much in love with the scammer to ever believe that they could be wrong.

The next thing that happens is the scam proper, in which the victim loses hundreds or thousands of dollars.

If you are involved with dating online, then it could be very helpful to let one or two close people into your life, and let them know what is going on.

That way, if things go wrong or they appear to be, you know you have one or two people who can help put you on the right track.

Many victims I talked with in the course of my research expressed their regrets that they did not have anyone to watch out for them when they were being scammed.

They pointed out that if they had been more open, and confided in someone they trusted, they would have been spared the much pain and agony that followed the romance scams.

BONUS : The Romantic Man

Being a man and being labeled a romantic is not always desirable. Or is it? Just because you like pampering your lady doesn't mean that you are any less a man than any other man. You can spend your day finishing your basement, working on your car, just getting your hands dirty so to speak but at the end of that day there's nothing quite like the look of love and care on your significant others face when you cook an impromptu dinner for her. And the benefits of what happens after dinner, or even before you get dinner done, far outweigh any negative connotations being labeled a romantic have.

Being a romantic man is not that hard. In most cases it's the little things that women notice. A glance, a quick touch or brush across her back. Sure, flowers are nice, but haven't they almost become a cliché. That's not to say women don't like flowers because they do, but if that's all you've got then it will only go so far. You have to mix it up, change your style and use your imagination to create romantic moments for the woman you love.

And here's the most important thing to remember. If you truly know her and what her likes and dislikes are then it's easy. Think of something built around something she likes to do. Does she like shopping (not something men even like to think about much less do), fine dining, walks on a beach, watching movies and the list goes on. It's all about doing something she likes with her. And the fringe benefits of doing this are the only reward you will need.

Now here's a little hint. While it seems like you may be doing something you don't necessarily like to do that's not really true. Let's look at the shopping example. And when I say take her shopping it means shopping for her. Don't go to the local home remodeling center, you might find yourself sleeping in the dog house for a few nights. Remember, this is romance.

You take a day to go clothes shopping for her. This is about her, but it is also for you because the idea is to go to the more upscale type of shops. Why? Because you are looking for clothes that she looks good in, that she will ask your opinion on as she models it for you. Not only does she feel sexy but you can see that in how she moves and carries herself. And if by some chance you can guide her into a lingerie shop, well you just might be surprised when she lets you pick out something and she wears it that night at home, or if your really on your stuff, back at the hotel room (now there's an idea: a night away from home).

A romantic man is in a win-win situation. And the best thing is it can be allot of fun for both the man and the woman.

And women, if your reading this. We men like to be romanced to, but then you already knew that!