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Online Dating Blogs
The world of dating has gotten out of hand. They have allowed for women to give us guys seven minutes to win them over in what they call Âspeed datingÂ. So much for foreplay. I mean seriously, whatever happened to the wine me, dine me days of dating.
You would be able to meet a nice girl on line at a grocery store, say something kind of witty then entice the girl to gladly exchange phone numbers. After a couple of phone calls and the getting to know you are not a psycho stage you could then work up to inviting this nice young lady to dinner. All this has changed. Now instead of exchanging phone numbers it becomes ÂAre you on online?Â
At first I was like how impersonal, you would rather stare at my hot pics online then see me in the flesh??? You would rather send me e-mail at 2 OÂclock in the morning than be enjoying cocktails and conversation at the local bar??? What has the world of dating become?
It has become an online dating world. You are actually more likely to meet someone interested in dating on the computer than at the convenience store. This does not mean that you have to go to an online dating service and pay tons of membership fees to pick up ladies but these services almost always guarantee a hook up. You can go the route of the free networking sites but there are no sure things.
Out of my own personal experience the first connection I made in the online dating world was with one of these paid services. I made a profile, and let the women seek me out. This cute Latino girl e-mailed me. I messaged her back, we met, had dinner and some laughs.
It was a home run. Not bad to bat 1.000 as a rookie. I did find though, people solely looking to date through these paid online dating services were really looking for a Âserious commitment.
Think about it, if a girl is going to throw down some money to meet someone, it is not because they want to select their next booty call, they want Prince Charming, The White Wedding and they want to live happily ever after. I personally did not want that kind of pressure or expectations, as I do not like to break hearts so I found a different route.
I signed up for an account at one of the major blog networks. They may as well be called ÂDating BlogsÂ. Not only do you have a great opportunity to meet nice lovely ladies of all races, shapes and sizes but you can do so without having to spend any money. You can browse through all the profiles of ladies meeting your specified search criteria in a radius close to home.
After narrowing down your search you can check out their page which allows the girls to create some pretty interesting sites with music, pictures and all different types of ÂspiritÂ. Here the girls will make you earn their acquaintance but I find that they also are more down to earth. While I havenÂt hooked- up with any of these girls, I have made some good friends that have potential.
While the initial introduction might have moved from meeting a nice girl on line at the supermarket to meeting the girl of your dreams online at the ÂSuper Meat Market of Dating at least the stores in cyber space never close and you can do your Âshopping from home. While there were several pros and con to each type of online service, remember the goal is for the actual date, or is it?
BONUS : Online Dating Blunders  The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online
Here are the top ten things that you should avoid when contacting women online. This will be the most important online dating and relationship advice that you read all year.
Mistake #1: Sending her 'just' a wink
Most internet dating sites let you send "winks" or "show interest" for free. But what does this say to her about you? When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that's not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee.
What a wonderful way to start off a relationship... Not!
She also knows that a wink is an easy "cop-out". Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves. So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?
Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile
This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.
Let me ask you... When you log on to a dating site and search, don't you search for women with photos in their profile first? Why would she be any different? Many women will assume that you have something to hide if you won't post your photo  like maybe your wife...
If you don't like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.
If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo. Oh, one more extremely important note  make sure that you upload a RECENT photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!
Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject
Fact #1: Guys out number girls by at least two to one on most online dating sites and that's a conservative number.
Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages in any given day.
You can have the most awesome profile and you can send her the most intriguing message, but she may never see it because you failed to capture her interest with the subject of your email.
Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others, or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read. Spend just as much time crafting an intriguing subject line as you do in writing the rest of your message. Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so that she will know you actually read it and are truly interested in more than just her looks.
Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message
So you took the effort to become a paying member of a dating site, and want to make the most of your membership. But then you came up with a standard boilerplate message, and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls. Go you! At least that's what you think...
Ok, reality check. Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand. So, why not take a different approach? Actually read her entire profile (we know it's painful, but do it anyway!), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.
Remember, you're messaging her and she needs to feel that she is the only girl in the entire world that you are interested in. Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or make reference to some thing or things you found interesting in her profile. Then, conclude each message with a "clear call to action". Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next. Don't leave her wondering. An example is "talk to you soon" or "drop me a line".
Mistake #5: Taking too long to respond to her message
With all the buzz around the seduction and "pick up artist" community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women away by appearing too eager or desperate. So they get her message and then wait... and wait... and wonder when it's "ok" to answer her.
Let's clear this up. Responding promptly is not a bad thing. It will likely help you stand out from the other dozen guys that messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, you're far better off striking while the iron's hot. Get over it and message her back. In fact, do it while she's still logged on. Forget the "head games" and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you'll be fine!
Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon
So you messaged this really great looking girl, and she responded with a basic "Hi" message. Now what? You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number, or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?
Stop! Asking her for ANY personal information in your first messages is a quick way to kill the relationship before it starts. Think of two dogs approaching each other... what do they do? They approach slowly and cautiously, and proceed to sniff each other. Why do they do this? They're getting to know each other. People are the same in many respects.
Don't scare her off. Take it slow and let her get to know you before requesting personal information.
Mistake #7: Making sexual innuendos in your first message
Yes, she's really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexual... So you think it's OK to be overtly sexual when you try to contact her, WRONG! Unless you're on AdultFriendFinder.com or other adult site, sexual innuendos are unlikely to help you. They'll most likely torpedo any chances you might have had with her. So don't do it.
Mistake #8: Sending her money or a credit card number
Yes, the ever popular Nigerian (or whatever country is in on it this month) money scam. Social networking sites, including online dating sites, are plagued by scammers. And guys you know are falling for it every day...
Remember, the whole "if it sounds too good to be true" idea still stands! If your online profile is really bad, and all of a sudden a girl strangely resembling a supermodel emails you and promises to make all your dreams come true, take it slow. And DO NOT send money or other financial information to make her come to you.
Mistake #9: Checking out her "really hot" nude photos on her personal website
The ever popular "cam girl" phenomenon is surprising scores of new men on a daily basis. So, what's a "cam girl?" Well, let's say you're searching profiles on and run across this great looking girl. She looks friendly, approachable, and is wearing a highly suggestive outfit. To make it better, her profile has a link to her "private website" where you can "see more of her".
What luck! So you click on that link, and to your surprise, you have to "verify your age by providing a credit card number". Hmm. If you want to browse an adult site, then proceed and enjoy. But recognize this for what it is  often a teenage high school male pretending to be a really hot girl in order to make money by sending happy surfers (read: you) to a pay-per-view adult site.
Mistake #10: Not knowing what you really want
The last blunder is actually by far the most important one... Put simply, most guys use the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything. Then they wonder why they're not happy with the women they meet. Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?
Before you join ANY online dating site, take a step back and figure out exactly what you're looking for... What type of woman do you really want to meet today? That way you don't waste your time messaging a really great looking 'single mom' when you know full well that you don't want children. If you are an outdoorsman, you probably don't want to spend time messaging a woman that tells you in her profile that she is allergic to the sun. (Yet another reason to actually read her profile.)
It will be well worth your time to understand what you're really looking for!
Copyright 2006, AskDanAndJennifer.com  All rights reserved.
Here are the top ten things that you should avoid when contacting women online. This will be the most important online dating and relationship advice that you read all year.
Mistake #1: Sending her 'just' a wink
Most internet dating sites let you send "winks" or "show interest" for free. But what does this say to her about you? When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that's not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee.
What a wonderful way to start off a relationship... Not!
She also knows that a wink is an easy "cop-out". Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves. So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?
Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile
This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.
Let me ask you... When you log on to a dating site and search, don't you search for women with photos in their profile first? Why would she be any different? Many women will assume that you have something to hide if you won't post your photo  like maybe your wife...
If you don't like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.
If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo. Oh, one more extremely important note  make sure that you upload a RECENT photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!
Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject
Fact #1: Guys out number girls by at least two to one on most online dating sites and that's a conservative number.
Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages in any given day.
You can have the most awesome profile and you can send her the most intriguing message, but she may never see it because you failed to capture her interest with the subject of your email.
Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others, or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read. Spend just as much time crafting an intriguing subject line as you do in writing the rest of your message. Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so that she will know you actually read it and are truly interested in more than just her looks.
Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message
So you took the effort to become a paying member of a dating site, and want to make the most of your membership. But then you came up with a standard boilerplate message, and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls. Go you! At least that's what you think...
Ok, reality check. Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand. So, why not take a different approach? Actually read her entire profile (we know it's painful, but do it anyway!), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.
Remember, you're messaging her and she needs to feel that she is the only girl in the entire world that you are interested in. Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or make reference to some thing or things you found interesting in her profile. Then, conclude each message with a "clear call to action". Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next. Don't leave her wondering. An example is "talk to you soon" or "drop me a line".
Mistake #5: Taking too long to respond to her message
With all the buzz around the seduction and "pick up artist" community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women away by appearing too eager or desperate. So they get her message and then wait... and wait... and wonder when it's "ok" to answer her.
Let's clear this up. Responding promptly is not a bad thing. It will likely help you stand out from the other dozen guys that messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, you're far better off striking while the iron's hot. Get over it and message her back. In fact, do it while she's still logged on. Forget the "head games" and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you'll be fine!
Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon
So you messaged this really great looking girl, and she responded with a basic "Hi" message. Now what? You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number, or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?
Stop! Asking her for ANY personal information in your first messages is a quick way to kill the relationship before it starts. Think of two dogs approaching each other... what do they do? They approach slowly and cautiously, and proceed to sniff each other. Why do they do this? They're getting to know each other. People are the same in many respects.
Don't scare her off. Take it slow and let her get to know you before requesting personal information.
Mistake #7: Making sexual innuendos in your first message
Yes, she's really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexual... So you think it's OK to be overtly sexual when you try to contact her, WRONG! Unless you're on AdultFriendFinder.com or other adult site, sexual innuendos are unlikely to help you. They'll most likely torpedo any chances you might have had with her. So don't do it.
Mistake #8: Sending her money or a credit card number
Yes, the ever popular Nigerian (or whatever country is in on it this month) money scam. Social networking sites, including online dating sites, are plagued by scammers. And guys you know are falling for it every day...
Remember, the whole "if it sounds too good to be true" idea still stands! If your online profile is really bad, and all of a sudden a girl strangely resembling a supermodel emails you and promises to make all your dreams come true, take it slow. And DO NOT send money or other financial information to make her come to you.
Mistake #9: Checking out her "really hot" nude photos on her personal website
The ever popular "cam girl" phenomenon is surprising scores of new men on a daily basis. So, what's a "cam girl?" Well, let's say you're searching profiles on and run across this great looking girl. She looks friendly, approachable, and is wearing a highly suggestive outfit. To make it better, her profile has a link to her "private website" where you can "see more of her".
What luck! So you click on that link, and to your surprise, you have to "verify your age by providing a credit card number". Hmm. If you want to browse an adult site, then proceed and enjoy. But recognize this for what it is  often a teenage high school male pretending to be a really hot girl in order to make money by sending happy surfers (read: you) to a pay-per-view adult site.
Mistake #10: Not knowing what you really want
The last blunder is actually by far the most important one... Put simply, most guys use the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything. Then they wonder why they're not happy with the women they meet. Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?
Before you join ANY online dating site, take a step back and figure out exactly what you're looking for... What type of woman do you really want to meet today? That way you don't waste your time messaging a really great looking 'single mom' when you know full well that you don't want children. If you are an outdoorsman, you probably don't want to spend time messaging a woman that tells you in her profile that she is allergic to the sun. (Yet another reason to actually read her profile.)
It will be well worth your time to understand what you're really looking for!
Copyright 2006, AskDanAndJennifer.com  All rights reserved.
