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Online Dating A Strategy For Success
The advent of the internet and the exponential growth in the online dating sector over the last five years has meant that the dating and mating habits of millions of singles throughout the world has been totally revolutionised. But here's a reality check - only a small percentage of people who populate online dating sites actually get to have even one date, let alone meet their perfect partner through the medium. In my experience, less than 10% of site members achieve what they set out to do when they first joined their chosen service. Does this mean that online dating just 'doesn't work' or that some sites just 'aren't very good'? Of course it doesn't; the sad fact is that most people just don't know how to get the most out of the online dating experience and if they followed a few simple steps, they could easily join the small percentage of people who actually find love and romance on a dating site. I'll now outline in a few bite-sized chunks exactly how to play the online dating game...
1. Choose the right site. You've got a myriad to choose from; the first dating sites which entered the market generally covered specific countries whereas now you can opt for many of the popular niche sites which are proving to be very popular. You can try city specific sites or lifestyle related sites if you're seeking a very particular type of partner, eg, single parents, bikers etc. The big, global sites aren't necessarily the best ones so it's worth doing a bit of research on the search engines to locate the one which is just right for you.
2. Don't look like you can't be bothered. When you join a dating site, the first thing you'll be asked to do is create your online profile, some of which is generally just multiple choice tick boxes with usually one or two sections where you have to say something about yourself and the type of person you're looking to meet. If you leave sections blank or say very little about yourself, you'll only promote a very negative impression of yourself. Remember, if your profile looks like you can't be bothered, then you can bet your bottom dollar that no-one will be bothered to respond to you.
3. Sound upbeat and happy. Many people decide to join a dating site after the break-up of a relationship. You may not be feeling your best and your confidence might be lower than it should be. But if you convey that in your profile, it'll be a guaranteed turn-off to anyone reading it. Sound happy, confident, chatty and just like in the off-line world, if you make someone smile when they hear what you have to say, they're more likely to warm to you and want to know more about you. Humour is a real ice-breaker whether you're in a bar or on the internet so if you sound sound a bundle of fun, you will immediately be perceived as having an attractive persona.
4. Upload a photo. Online dating is very much a visual experience and not just from the perspective of joining a great looking site. Be honest, the first thing you'd do on a site is check out the photos of the members who fall within your chosen criteria in regard to age, gender and location. Members who post photos to accompany their profiles receive up to eight times more responses than those who don't bother. After all, if you want to see what other people look like before deciding to message them, you can be sure that others will feel the same way about you. If you only have a pic that isn't a very flattering likeness, you can always say so in your profile - it's still much better than not putting up a photo at all. That really should not be an option if you're serious about online dating.
5. Think before you write to anyone. OK, you've joined a great site, created a terrific, upbeat profile and you've spotted a couple of people with whom you reckon you're very compatible. Don't just write to them and say 'I like you, please write back to me' - tell them why you think you might get on well, why you're attracted to them and what you believe you've got in common. You don't have to write a long essay (that's just as bad as saying very little), just a short paragraph or two by way of an initial introduction. And check your spelling before you click on 'send'; if you come across as illiterate, you wont be taken very seriously by the recipient of your message.
6. Don't use sexual innuendo or bad language. This applies to your profile, the username that you choose as your on-site identity and the mails which you send out to other members. Many guys think it's either clever or amusing to be a little suggestive and smutty at an online dating site - it isn't and if you go down that route, you'll find that everyone will give you a very wide berth indeed.
7. Log-in on a regular basis. There are two reasons why you should check back with your chosen dating site at least once every day. It gives you an opportunity to view the latest profiles and photos and many sites will put you at the top of the search listings whenever you log-in which means that your details will be more visible to other members who are searching the database for a suitable partner. There's no point in joining a dating site, particularly if you are paying to do so, if you're not going to use it on a very regular basis.
So there you have it; if you use your common sense when you play the online dating game, you'll have a positive experience which may well lead to you meeting your perfect partner. What are you waiting for? join the online dating revolution today!
BONUS : Online Dating Advice: Making The First Move
Online Dating is often cited as a great way for shy people to extend their social circle and find love, but lack of confidence can be just as bad on the Internet as it is offline. For many people, making contact online can be quite a daunting task and the fear of rejection can be just as strong. There are a few important things to keep in mind for when youÂve found someone you want to make contact with.
Traditional gender roles
Some people are still labouring under the belief that itÂs always the man who should contact the woman. While this may be true for some men, especially in the traditional dating world, the online dating scene is quite different. With so many people using the various dating sites, a woman could be waiting a very long time if she didnÂt make a move herself. Luckily, it seems most women are not afraid of contacting men online. Surveys have also revealed that the vast majority of men are not put off by women contacting them and in fact find it quite flattering. If the man is shy himself, this could be the best and maybe only way to make contact.
Cheats and helping hands
Many sites nowadays offer handy features to take the sting out of contacting someone for the first time. Features like ÂwinksÂ, Âkisses etc. are basically a way to send someone a quick preset message with the click of a button to let them know you are interested. On some sites, you can send quick multi-user messages to anyone who fits your search criteria so you can contact a whole load of people at once.
What to send
This is not an exact science, seeing as dating is a personal thing. A message that leaves one person indifferent could be just the thing to interest another. As a rule though, try to keep things personal. Comment on the other personÂs profile to make them know you took the time to read it. Compliment them by telling them why you chose to send a message to them rather than anyone else. Comments like Âyou have a nice smile are good, but itÂs probably best to avoid any comments about body parts, unless you are on a site that is advertised for people who are predominantly looking for sex.
When writing, include information about yourself but donÂt write too long a message, most people wouldnÂt bother reading that much and, after all, you are only trying to start a conversation. Asking the other person about him/herself is a good way to ensure they have something to talk about if they want to write back.
Not always a rejection
ItÂs easy to get discouraged if youÂve sent someone a message and did not receive a reply, but the truth is, there could be a lot of reasons why a person did not respond and most of them have nothing to do with you at all. This is more true online than anywhere else, because there are even more elements to consider. For example, the nature of online dating means people can be selective from the start about what they want in a way that is different from traditional dating. If you are insecure about your looks, itÂs easy to assume itÂs your picture that put people off, but in reality, it could be something completely unrelated that has made the other person think you are incompatible.
ItÂs worth making sure your profile is as good as it can be and includes a picture of you before you start contacting people. A lot of people wonÂt bother replying to people whose profiles do not have a picture and many wonÂt bother replying to people whoÂve written nothing at all about themselves.
Online Dating is often cited as a great way for shy people to extend their social circle and find love, but lack of confidence can be just as bad on the Internet as it is offline. For many people, making contact online can be quite a daunting task and the fear of rejection can be just as strong. There are a few important things to keep in mind for when youÂve found someone you want to make contact with.
Traditional gender roles
Some people are still labouring under the belief that itÂs always the man who should contact the woman. While this may be true for some men, especially in the traditional dating world, the online dating scene is quite different. With so many people using the various dating sites, a woman could be waiting a very long time if she didnÂt make a move herself. Luckily, it seems most women are not afraid of contacting men online. Surveys have also revealed that the vast majority of men are not put off by women contacting them and in fact find it quite flattering. If the man is shy himself, this could be the best and maybe only way to make contact.
Cheats and helping hands
Many sites nowadays offer handy features to take the sting out of contacting someone for the first time. Features like ÂwinksÂ, Âkisses etc. are basically a way to send someone a quick preset message with the click of a button to let them know you are interested. On some sites, you can send quick multi-user messages to anyone who fits your search criteria so you can contact a whole load of people at once.
What to send
This is not an exact science, seeing as dating is a personal thing. A message that leaves one person indifferent could be just the thing to interest another. As a rule though, try to keep things personal. Comment on the other personÂs profile to make them know you took the time to read it. Compliment them by telling them why you chose to send a message to them rather than anyone else. Comments like Âyou have a nice smile are good, but itÂs probably best to avoid any comments about body parts, unless you are on a site that is advertised for people who are predominantly looking for sex.
When writing, include information about yourself but donÂt write too long a message, most people wouldnÂt bother reading that much and, after all, you are only trying to start a conversation. Asking the other person about him/herself is a good way to ensure they have something to talk about if they want to write back.
Not always a rejection
ItÂs easy to get discouraged if youÂve sent someone a message and did not receive a reply, but the truth is, there could be a lot of reasons why a person did not respond and most of them have nothing to do with you at all. This is more true online than anywhere else, because there are even more elements to consider. For example, the nature of online dating means people can be selective from the start about what they want in a way that is different from traditional dating. If you are insecure about your looks, itÂs easy to assume itÂs your picture that put people off, but in reality, it could be something completely unrelated that has made the other person think you are incompatible.
ItÂs worth making sure your profile is as good as it can be and includes a picture of you before you start contacting people. A lot of people wonÂt bother replying to people whose profiles do not have a picture and many wonÂt bother replying to people whoÂve written nothing at all about themselves.
