How To Survive And Enjoy A Blind Date

How To Survive And Enjoy (!) A Blind Date

You may not agree, but it seems to me that blind dates are high on the list of things that everyone loves to hate. I have just one question – why?
Apparently, there are a number of myths about blind dates that are ruining their reputation. If you’re interested in exploding those myths and learning how to make blind dates productive and even enjoyable, this article is for you.

Myth #1: Blind dates are silly because you can just as well meet someone spontaneously.
Fact: Let’s face it. If you’re working full time, how many opportunities do you have to suddenly meet a potential dating partner? The majority of married couples will tell you: They did not meet at a club or in college. Someone introduced them. The sooner you accept that a blind date can be the most valuable tool in searching for your soul mate, the sooner your whole outlook on blind dates will take a positive turn – and so will your ability to utilize them.

Myth #2: Your first impression on a blind date is usually correct. Go with it.
Fact: The area where first impressions count least might just be blind dates. Anyone can be nervous on a first date, or have had an awful day at work. Be honest: Do you show who you really are inside on that first, blind date? Well, neither does your date. Instead, look at it as an icebreaker. Don’t make any decisions if they’re based on mere impressions. Just relax and enjoy the evening as much as possible. Don’t let first impressions get in the way.

Myth #3: If you don’t click right away, then you aren’t right for each other
Fact: Although many of us expect to click instantly with the person who is right for us, in reality that doesn’t happen too often. Instant connections are rare, and for most people they take several meetings to develop. So if you find that you have a few things in common, or some aspects of your date’s personality appeals to you – that’s enough to go out on a second date.

Myth #4: If you don’t feel physically attracted very early on, you never will.
Fact: Even though physical attraction is an obvious requisite for marriage, it does not necessarily come instantly. If a man prefers women who are tall, dark and exotic looking, then when he goes out with a petite, blonde, blue-eyed woman it will take him another date or two to appreciate her looks no matter how beautiful she is. The thing is that, when you begin to like a person for who they are, you find yourself appreciating their physical appearance, too.

Now that we’ve dealt with the myths, we can get down to some practical advice: How to survive and enjoy (!) a blind date – and how to set the stage for date number two.

1) Don’t spend more than a few minutes talking about your job. Your date wants to see who you are, and if you have the personal qualities they think are important in a future spouse. You are not going to impress the other person by showing them what an accomplished business executive you are. A date is not a job interview. Show the softer side of your personality.

2) Be a good listener. Remember, you want to get to know the person you’re with. Show a genuine interest in your date by picking up on a hobby, interest or project that she mentioned. Let him know that you’re interested in what he’s saying.

3) Keep the conversation light. You do not want to reveal your deepest secrets to someone you hardly know and are not sure if you will ever see again. And they don’t want to hear you pour your heart out over whatever may or not be going wrong in your life. A good rule is to stick to “airplane talk” – the kind of information you would share with a complete stranger who is sitting next to you on a flight.

4) If it’s hard for you to make small talk, practice beforehand. Not everyone has the gift of gab. If you don’t, then practice ahead of time by going over possible topics of conversation. If you’re really shy, then role-play with a friend and walk yourself through that first date.

5) Some ideas for conversation on that first date: These ideas will help you stimulate the kind of conversation you want to have on a first date – conversation that will help you learn a little bit about each other’s values and way of thinking, and will also form the basis for more conversation on the second date.
Who do you most admire? How did they inspire you?
What has been the most satisfying achievement of your life?
Is there something you’ve dreamt about doing for a long time?
What is your most treasured possession, and why?

6) Don’t stretch the date out for too long. There is a limit to how much conversation two people can sustain when they go out for the first time. The ideal first date should last between two and two and a half hours, and should give both of you the opportunity to talk in a pleasant and relatively quiet atmosphere; a walk through a beautiful park followed by a good cup of coffee and dessert is great. Men, if you are dealing with social expectations that demand that you take her out for a costly evening, take this advice anyway. Don’t go for a five course meal. And if you’re going to a concert, make sure you have time either before or after to talk with each other.

Now that you’ve exploded the myths and gotten some great advice, you can put it to work. Next time you have a blind date, keep all this in mind and see the difference!

BONUS : How To Tell If He (or She) Is A Keeper In 15 Minutes Or Less (dating And Relationship Advice)

Has this ever happened to you?

You meet someone, the chemistry is right and the future is looking good. Soon you find yourself really caring for this person. But after a while you start to realize that there are some things about them that just seem to bug you. All the attention was flattering at first but now seems domineering and controlling. Or, what at first appeared to be modesty is starting to look like they really have no self-esteem at all. Maybe what you took to be a little quirkiness at first is starting to look like a full blown dual personality!

Wouldn't it be nice if you could find out right away, with a quick, easy and reliable test, if your friend or lover has personality traits that will doom your relationship?

Well, you can find out right away – in as little as 15 minutes – by getting a short sample of their handwriting and analyzing it or having it analyzed. There are 50 or more personality traits that show up in handwriting, some of which are extremely useful in determining their emotional and sexual compatibility with you.

Determining a list of personality “Hell Traits” is bound to be somewhat subjective. After all, what may seem like a terrible trait to me might be just your cup of cappuccino. But after asking a number of people, this is the list of personality traits that we suggest you screen for in the handwriting sample:
o Jealousy
o Dual personality
o Emotionally withdrawn
o Low self-esteem
o Excessively sensitive to criticism
o Lying
o Anti-social
o Hot temper
o Domineering
o Selective listener (closed minded)

Investing a little time right up front could save you months of heartaches. Why would you trust your heart to someone without first knowing if their personality is one that you can live with?

Did You Know:

o Handwriting analysis has long been used extensively in Europe, where… it is routinely used as a hiring tool by an estimated 85% of all companies (Dun's Review).
o The FBI, CIA, and major metropolitan police departments use handwriting analysis to solve crimes, identify stalkers, suspects, select juries and convict criminals. Prosecutors who won a death sentence for Scott Peterson hired graphologists to analyze prospective jurors' handwriting during the jury selection process. The prosecution's ... effort ended in victory when jurors sent Peterson, 32, to death row in December. (Modesto Bee)
o You may have also seen it used on Discovery Channel specials, CSI, Court TV and other popular television shows. Tarot and astrology testimony is not allowed in court, but handwriting analysts testify frequently in all types of cases.
o Handwriting changes over time - depending on what is happening in one’s life - but a person’s handwriting will always reflect their core personality traits and tendencies as well as the current situation.

Sex Drive and Handwriting:

You may be surprised to know that the nature of a person's sex drive also is revealed in their handwriting. And, it can be amazingly accurate. Handwriting Analysis can tell you if a person:
o Has a normal, healthy sex drive
o Has a strong sex drive and sexual imagination
o Is sexually frustrated
o Is independent, a loner
o Has trust issues around sex and intimacy

More Info on Handwriting and Love:

How do you get someone’s handwriting analyzed? Most cities have people who specialize in this line of work, and they often do forensic analysis and document examination as well. The yellow pages is a good source for finding these professionals. Most libraries have books about graphology and handwriting analysis, so you can always go there for reading material. The web has many sites that offer information or services in this specialty. Our site has some particularly effective and easy to use reference materials as well as a “Hell Trait Report” that allows anyone to identify potential problems before they become too involved.

copyright 2006
Phil Billitz
4 Quarters Technology LLC