First Date Weirdness That Awkward Silence

First Date Weirdness: That Awkward Silence

First dates for some can be intimidating and stressful. Often, one’s mind and emotions are overcome with insecurities and fears.

Conversation normally is a big factor for a positive date outcome as well as a great influence on the failure of your date.

Carrying a conversation during a first date can become difficult and uneasy at times, since you hardly know the individual you are dating (specially on a blind date), making it hard to open up and think of a certain topic to talk about and with slight tension and nervousness, things can be really awkward.

On dates, usually a person is scared of rejection and failure; thus is nervous and conscious on what to say. It has to be the right things; sparking his/her interests as the wrong words may either injure your date’s feelings or make the conversation boring. This is because usually one is very concerned about one’s impression that he/she is able to convey to his/her date.

One’s apprehensions can lead to damaging results, usually paralyzing one’s thoughts and emotions, thus inhibiting one’s capability to behave confidently and normally like one would do when he is in the company of family and friends.
As a result, one ends up in a very humiliating and embarrassing situation, which one describes in dating as "awkward silence".

Almost everyone is capable of carrying on an effortless, enjoyable and easy going conversation with individuals they are familiar with and therefore having the proper approach, so one can do it with the girl/guy on one’s first date.

One solution here is to think ahead of time the things that you can open up or topics that can start a good conversation; ask a common friend of his/her interest, hobbies, sports, career, etc.

Another solution is to relax and be yourself; never pretend to be somebody that you are not. Keep in mind that it’s no use when your date will like for putting up a front; it will be a great feeling to know that your date liked you for what you are.

Never brag, talking constantly of your awards and accomplishments as this would only set arrogant impression on you. Keep your conversation as simple as possible keeping away discussions about politics or religion.

Also, do not intrude or ask personal questions; whatever your date wants to relate to you, he/she will tell you on his/her own. Never too, talk about your experience about past relationships, as this will make your date feel uneasy. Making your date feel at ease with your conversations, for sure there will be a second time around for both of you.

Let your date talk and you have to listen well, as this will allow you to collect ideas of the things that interest your date and make these as topics for your conversation as well as be acquainted with your date much better. Furthermore, being a great listener is one positive feature that any ideal date can possess.

Take note that most often than not, people are tempted or even talk about their life story. Be careful, as this might only bore your date. Instead, loosen up and select an easy topic or general things such as movies, food, or anything that is of interest to your date. Or be funny and joke a little, you do not need to be all that formal.

Basically, when you are listening well to your date, you’ll know what you both have in common, so talk about that, so you can develop a good bond.

Do not let the “awkward silences” worry you, at some point those silences will come, but know that as they embarrass you, they also embarrass your date. Awkward silences are never a basis for you to conclude that your date is not interested in you; he/she just might be in a similar situation as you.

Relax and be yourself. When “silence” do come, break it with a joke, a compliment or a question and remember to be honest; let your date know how nervous you are (when you are). Letting your date know how to feel on this first date will take away the tension on he/she is feeling and will make him/her comfortable and can handle the situation better.

BONUS : First Dates

There is nothing more intimidating than the idea of a first date, unless of course it is getting up the courage to ask for that first date. In fact, most of us will not even get to the point of asking four out of five times. So what if you finally get up the courage and, to your delight, the person says yes? Well, your adventures through the land of intimidation are just about to begin.

The agony of the first date begins when you try to decide what to do. The conversation often becomes bogged down right here- you do not want to choose a date that the other person will hate, nor do you want to choose a generic date that anyone could have dreamed up. Some safe ideas are the old standbys- a night at the movies, dinner in a restaurant with a few options (nothing too specific or risqué like sushi or Indian yet), a day in the park. If you play your cards right, the conversation should lead you to a point where you both find out interesting facts about each other that will serve two advantages- the first is that you have a curiosity about each other, the second is that it gives an opportunity to plan and get a set time for the second date. This date is great as it allows for a demonstration of your listening abilities and the opportunity to expand your dating options into other safe areas.

Choose a date that will allow you alone time without adding the burden of too much privacy. This will allow you both to feel comfortable and keep the conversation flowing. Your first date should also include some good conversation starters as well. This is why the movies and perhaps a desert or coffee afterwards are a good idea. You can go to the theater and both of you can decide on the movie, and afterwards the movie itself should provide ample fodder for conversation.

There are several signs that the date is going well. One of these is laughter- if you are both laughing, the odds are very high that you are having a good time. There is nothing more rewarding than female laughter on a date; it means that you are in the door of approval. Don’t overdo it though, and don’t try to play for laughs. Understated humor is the best way to go. Time seeming to fly by is another good indicator of a successful date, as we never have enough time when we are enjoying ourselves.

There are some suicidal moves and places when it comes to first dates. Bars immediately spring to mind. Many bars are filled with juvenile minded people (mostly young men) who are seeking to prove their manliness to a public that is in no need of convincing by looking for fights. If you happen to be a big guy, you will present an immediate target. This will inevitably result in a no win situation. Fights are a ridiculous behavior for an adult to engage in, nevertheless you may be forced into a situation where one cannot be avoided. There are lots of contingent consequences, including a possible loss of respect from your date and even charges. Bars also have the implication of heavy drinking, and your date may think you are trying to get her drunk to take advantage. If you both find out that you enjoy dancing, try to go to one of the higher class watering holes in your area. Otherwise, avoid bars altogether on the first date.