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The Five Phases Of Feedback

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leroman
The Five Phases Of Feedback

You may have heard about the five phases of grief. Psychological professionals have outlined the pattern of emotions that humans cycle through during the grieving process. As a writing professional, I’ve discovered the five phases of receiving feedback. Any writer who is advancing in their career has been through the sometimes shocking experience of having her work critiqued. Cycling through these five feedback phases is normal. Getting stuck in any of them, however, could bring your writing career to a painful halt. See if you recognize yourself at any of these phases:

Denial. Defensiveness sets in. How could they say that about your character? Can’t they see how perfect she is? You go home and rant to your spouse about how clueless your critique group is. You shore up a line of defense and tick the points off on your fingers while your beloved nods and smiles.

Depression. What? Your draft isn’t perfect? After all that work… you realize that your blossoming talent doesn’t hold up without some pruning. You may hole up for weeks, or months, in this phase, daunted by the real work of writing: revision. Your balm: forays to the library and to read all those other successes.

Integration. You’re still alive, and is that a glimmer of desire to have another look at your manuscript? Take a deep breath and look clearly at the comments you received. Which feedback can be integrated and what needs to be chucked?

Enthusiasm. Okay, you know what to do now. You’ve found some grace and you’ve taken the criticism. Outlining a plan for revision, you’re ready to go. You’re over the worst of it. You’re even kind of excited about it. You can write a bestseller!

Acceptance. You move into work mode and start working through the details.

You realize that writing is suitable work for those who can handle the long haul. You recommit to the work of being a writer. There’s a lot to do, but with support you can write this thing!

To move through the five phases more effectively, here are some tried and true methods that I have used with my coaching clients.

To handle the denial, ask yourself this simple question: “What’s true about this feedback?” Take a step back from the work and be as objective as you can. Is it true that there is a lot of exposition in your novel? Is it true that your characters don’t seem developed enough? Making this kind of assessment strengthens your skills as a writer. Taking your work apart, piece by piece, will allow you to delve into the craft of writing.

For the overwhelming emotions that drive you to hide under the covers, try giving yourself an acknowledgment. This simple coaching tool can help you to recognize your progress, and what you have done right. An acknowledgment could look like this: “You gave the draft as much as you could when you wrote it. Look at how far you have come since you said you wanted to write.” Working through the emotions goes more quickly if you are able to talk them out with a compassionate listener.

Call up your writing buddy or coach and give space to the feelings that without expression might keep you trapped for months.

When you get to the integration phase, give yourself a pat on the back. You’re maturing as a writer. Realizing that writing is more than the first flush of inspiration is a powerful step toward success. Give yourself a better chance at success by outlining a plan, creating a schedule, and sticking to the work of revision.

Enthusiasm is the fun part of the process. Here you reconnect with some of the original passion for the piece, but with the added commitment and knowledge that you are willing to show up to make your writing shine.

In the final phase, the flare and spark of enthusiasm settles into a warm, steady fire.

You are fueled by the respect you have for yourself for sticking with it, for your love of writing, for your admiration for others who have done this work and triumphed.

If you do find yourself stuck, if getting feedback has stopped you cold, get help. Meet with a writing buddy to talk out the feedback. Talk long walks and ponder your commitment to the work. What drives you to keep going despite the challenges?

Understanding your motivation to write, and to write that particular piece, will help you to move through the five phases of feedback more quickly. Receiving feedback gracefully is part of any writer's process, so make it work for you!
leroman
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BONUS : The Gift Of Writer's Block

Anyone who writes knows this scenario at one time or another: You have something to say, great ideas to express. So, you go to the page only to find your mind has gone as blank as the sheet or screen before you. Paralyzed, you write not a word. Somewhere in the synapses of your imagination, you know there lives a fully formed novel, or story, or play, or even one single poem, but you cannot magnify it enough to see the individual words. So you leave it for another day…until your vision is clearer, until inspiration strikes and reveals all 350 pages of text, all 36 lines of poetry. Until the writer’s block is gone.

Sometimes inspiration does strike from out of the blue, and words pour down like rain. Ideas synthesize, fingers fly and Voila! You’ve created a masterpiece…or at least a pretty good piece of work.

But such strikes of inspiration are not, for most of us, the norm. Writing takes commitment, and good writing takes practice.

Still, what about writer’s block?

Even when your diligent with your practice, even when you show up day after day, you’re not immune from block, from finding yourself without two words that make any sense. What then?

First, shift your perspective on what writer’s block is. It’s easy to panic, to believe it means you’ll never write again, that you have no real talent or that you have nothing worthwhile to say. But none of these is near the truth.

Writer’s block is not the lack of skill or worthiness as a writer…it is, instead, a signifier revealing one of two things:

· There is a truth you are not yet ready to tell
· There is something more that needs to be learned or experienced before the ideas can be fully crystallized

When you write you cannot help but come up against and touch upon your own inner sore spots and the edges of your comfort zones. To write deeply you must delve inside of and push against these, stretching, questioning and seeing more and more clearly. The truths you tell yourself are the markers that guide you through. When you come to a place you are not yet ready to go, to words you are not yet ready to say or to something that is not yet in focus…you get stuck. Willingness to face the wall, to approach it with patience, compassion, trust and honesty, is the way through it. There is no way around it. Your blocks are gifts that push you to grow, to break through the hard places to reach fertile ground.

Let me share an example to explain. When I was writing my novel, I found myself going in circles around a primary relationship in the story…one between the main character and her mentor/teacher. I would talk about the teacher, but I couldn’t dive into the center of her role in the novel, most specifically I couldn’t find ANY words to put in her mouth. As long as she didn’t speak, I was okay. But that was a problem. There came a point when I could no longer keep her mute. She had to speak. But every time I tried, I ended up sitting in front of the screen, hands poised and my insides twisting in frustration.

Finally, I decided to get up and move. I went for a walk, and as my limbs fell into rhythm my mind fell into the story. The dialogue played out in my head. Away from the computer, I could have a conversation with the characters; I could get inside them and hear what they wanted to say.

On that walk it occurred to me that I had been unable to claim the voice of the mentor before then because I had not been able to claim her within my own being. Whenever the story demanded she speak, I would feel the panic of putting on paper what was being shared as wisdom. Who was I to say such things? Who was I to be the voice of wisdom? But just realizing what was “blocking” me, what I needed to learn, freed me. And along the way I opened doorways to my own growth.

When feeling “blocked” take a walk. Let your body move and your mind ease and flow. Ask yourself what you might fear in the work you are doing…what truth you are not yet ready to claim or tell. And know that we cannot always control the readiness of things. Time teaches us and directs our understanding, and our understanding directs the depth and breadth of our writing. Be patient with yourself. And keep writing.
leroman
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