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Working On Your Groove
Working on Your Groove
Word Count:
732
Summary:
We all come to a point in our lives, like in the movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back that we lose sight of who we are. Life has so many possibilities if we just open ourselves to recieving them!
Keywords:
goal setting
Article Body:
We all come to a point in our lives, like in the movie How Stella Got Her Groove Back that we lose sight of who we are. Life has a person in so many different roles such as parent; employee and spouse we tend to lose us in being there for others. Although Stella got her groove back by meeting a man that was 20 years younger than her, how do we know that Stellas groove is going to stay? Stella still had some matters in her life that she needed to clear up before taking a vacation to Jamaica Taking a vacation is a temporary fix. When you come back all the problems are still there waiting on you.
In order to start working on your groove you must first clear out the garbage that has been holding you back from being happy. When I say garbage I mean the emotional matters in your life that are holding you back from enjoying your life. If you are having a hard time forgiving someone from your past this is an emotional problem that has to be dealt with before you can move forward in your life. Holding on to the anger is like walking around with an anchor attached to your heart. Any opportunities that may come in your direction will be overlooked because you are still anchored to the past. In the book In the Meantime by Iyanla Vanzant she discusses how we have to start in the attic of our mind all the way to the basement of our minds.
Physical matters can also hold us back from getting our groove back. Say that you have been procrastinating on cleaning your garage. The more you think about doing it and not taking the action to do it will hold you back. In the movie, Stella was working at a job that was very profitable but the stress was overwhelming. Her dream was to build furniture and she wasnt doing anything to make her dream a reality. Very few people realize that the things we dont do will drain us more than the things we actually physically handle. As long as you procrastinate this brings your energy level down and eventually makes it even harder to get accomplished. Your subconscious starts accusing you of being lazy and after a while you really start to believe what your mind is telling you is true. You have to start taking baby steps to get back into action so that you will feel better about yourself. If you have a dream on hold or something you need to accomplish then take a certain amount of time either everyday or once a week to accomplish whatever it is you would like to accomplish. You will see that once this matter is complete you will feel a rush.
Once you have cleared up the garbage then it is time to work on you. Now is the time to give yourself special attention and figure out what makes you happy. During this period you would be required to do something special for self on a regular basis. I take every Thursday as my day for me. On this day I order carryout for the children and I do whatever brings me joy. If it is just reading a book, this is what I do on this day to give myself special attention.
Another thing you will have to consider is eliminating people from your life that dont enhance your life. If you are in a relationship that you are doing more giving than receiving this may be a matter to re-evaluate. I am not speaking only on romantic relationships. This can also cover friends and family. Sometimes people have a tendency of taking your kindness for weakness. As long as you dont set boundaries with these people they will keep on taking and not giving. You deserve better! You have to realize that you have the right to be selfish. If you dont give yourself special attention on a regular basis who will? You have to learn to say no. If it is something you dont want to do or dont have time to do then simply say no. You dont have to do anything in life that you truly dont want to do except maybe pay taxes.
BONUS : Title:
Work Life Balance And The Power of Positive Thinking
Word Count:
1042
Summary:
Can we learn how to respond optimistically and hopefully to events that challenge work life balance? According to psychologist and researcher Martin Seligman, the answer is YES. While some folks appear to be hardwired to respond optimistically to ups and downs in life and work, others are wired for pessimistic responses. Fortunately, you do not have to settle for the wiring you were born with. Find out how you can improve your resilience and hopefulness by acquiring positive thinking skills.
Keywords:
work life balance, positive thinking, hopefulness, resilience, optimism, pessimism
Article Body:
It's important to get a handle on mood swings or energy shifts if you want to maintain your work life balance and be successful in business. According to psychologist and researcher Martin Seligman, some folks appear to be hardwired to respond optimistically and hopefully to work life balance upset and life's ups and downs. Others are wired for opposite responses. Fortunately, you do not have to settle for the wiring you were born with. With practice you can improve your resilience and your hopefulness by acquiring solid positive thinking skills.
I like to think of the process of building hopefulness, resilience and positive thinking skills as an analogue to building physical fitness: it takes attention, concentration, commitment, and repetition. If you approach a workout program with those qualities, you can almost always improve your fitness.
The first hurdle to get over is the belief that you already need to be different in order to succeed. You don't. You are the way you are and you can start from here, overwhelmed, worried, anxious, whatever. Don't fall into your story about how you feel, but take a stand for what you intend to accomplish to restore your work life balance and where you plan to go. You do not need to feel better before you try these practices -- do them now. Another caveat: Do not interpret your progress in the short term -- measuring increase in strength and endurance after a single workout would be silly.
Seligman points out that people with an optimistic approach to life habitually accept positive thoughts and dispute negative thoughts. Those of us who are wired to be more pessimistic tend to dispute the positive and accept the negative. Optimists tend to assume that their life balance will be restored, good events will happen again and that bad events are an exception; pessimists assume the reverse. I am oversimplifying his rigorously considered arguments, and I encourage you to read the book if the science of this is important to you.
Here's a practice he recommends for shifting from hopelessness to hopefulness. I successfully use it with my clients to help them restore their work life balance. He calls it ABCDE for:
Adversity -- Beliefs -- Consequences -- Disputation -- Energization.
A - Adversity
Start by spelling out the nature of the situation. Notice that you can experience hopelessness in response to ostensibly positive situations as well as to negative ones. For example, getting a new client or being accepted into a final round of interviews can upset your balance and send you into a whirlwind of anxiety and fear that produces just as much hopelessness and overwhelm as not getting the job or not making the cut.
B -- Beliefs
This is your opportunity to spell out the thoughts and beliefs that are fueling the negative response.
C -- Consequences
Look at the consequences of your beliefs -- what happened as a result? How do you behave? What happened then?
D -- Disputation
Actively dispute the beliefs that break your life balance and send you into the downward spiral. This is where you practice arguing with yourself in a productive way.
E -- Energization
When you have been effective in disputing the problem beliefs, you feel an influx of energy, a sense of renewed hope, or at least of peacefulness.
So, here's an example from my life:
Adversity:
I was excited about moving forward on two projects when I fell on my bike and cracked my ribs. I was okay and working hard with this for almost three days, then depression and anxiety set in and my usual positive thinking ability left me. Instead of feeling like moving forward I felt like bursting into tears.
Beliefs:
How will I ever restore my work life balance and get things done if I can't stop these mood swings? Maybe I am just not meant to lead these projects. I don't know enough and I can't seem to get started -- I probably should have said no in the first place. It would be better to bow out now, as embarrassing as that will be, than to keep going and have a bigger train wreck later when I just can't make the grade.
Consequences:
These beliefs leave me feeling very sad and small, like a six year old, and then I wonder how a six year old can possibly be a leader. I find it hard to concentrate and I just want to hide.
Disputation:
Constant low-grade pain can take it out of anyone. The world is not going to come to an end if you delay things because you've been injured. And who says you have to do it alone anyway? Some of the problem is that you don't have enough information to go forward. That calls for making requests of others, not for blaming yourself. And when you're not leaning on yourself so hard, your positive thinking ability starts coming back and your mood lightens -- so maybe it would be smart to cut yourself some slack this week after letting folks know what is going on. You don't have to crawl under a rock -- you can reach out instead to restore your work life balance. And even if some work projects end up being passed on to others, there will always be other opportunities.
Energization:
I called and emailed colleagues to regroup. Not only did these conversations relieve my anxiety, they made simple next steps quite clear. In one case, my summary of a conversation ended up being exactly what our group needed to move forward. Who knew? I had been worried about making things happen on my own when all along my strength was in articulating and clarifying complex input from many sources.
See how this works? I do strongly recommend the book as there are many more practices in it that address different aspects of overwhelm and ways to restore your work life balance. But if you struggle with hopelessness and challenge yourself to work through this one exercise on a regular basis (and if that means five or ten times a day, so be it), your positive thinking skills will grow and you WILL get relief. Remember -- don't measure change before it can happen -- keep doing the practices long enough for significant positive shifts to take root and grow.
Work Life Balance And The Power of Positive Thinking
Word Count:
1042
Summary:
Can we learn how to respond optimistically and hopefully to events that challenge work life balance? According to psychologist and researcher Martin Seligman, the answer is YES. While some folks appear to be hardwired to respond optimistically to ups and downs in life and work, others are wired for pessimistic responses. Fortunately, you do not have to settle for the wiring you were born with. Find out how you can improve your resilience and hopefulness by acquiring positive thinking skills.
Keywords:
work life balance, positive thinking, hopefulness, resilience, optimism, pessimism
Article Body:
It's important to get a handle on mood swings or energy shifts if you want to maintain your work life balance and be successful in business. According to psychologist and researcher Martin Seligman, some folks appear to be hardwired to respond optimistically and hopefully to work life balance upset and life's ups and downs. Others are wired for opposite responses. Fortunately, you do not have to settle for the wiring you were born with. With practice you can improve your resilience and your hopefulness by acquiring solid positive thinking skills.
I like to think of the process of building hopefulness, resilience and positive thinking skills as an analogue to building physical fitness: it takes attention, concentration, commitment, and repetition. If you approach a workout program with those qualities, you can almost always improve your fitness.
The first hurdle to get over is the belief that you already need to be different in order to succeed. You don't. You are the way you are and you can start from here, overwhelmed, worried, anxious, whatever. Don't fall into your story about how you feel, but take a stand for what you intend to accomplish to restore your work life balance and where you plan to go. You do not need to feel better before you try these practices -- do them now. Another caveat: Do not interpret your progress in the short term -- measuring increase in strength and endurance after a single workout would be silly.
Seligman points out that people with an optimistic approach to life habitually accept positive thoughts and dispute negative thoughts. Those of us who are wired to be more pessimistic tend to dispute the positive and accept the negative. Optimists tend to assume that their life balance will be restored, good events will happen again and that bad events are an exception; pessimists assume the reverse. I am oversimplifying his rigorously considered arguments, and I encourage you to read the book if the science of this is important to you.
Here's a practice he recommends for shifting from hopelessness to hopefulness. I successfully use it with my clients to help them restore their work life balance. He calls it ABCDE for:
Adversity -- Beliefs -- Consequences -- Disputation -- Energization.
A - Adversity
Start by spelling out the nature of the situation. Notice that you can experience hopelessness in response to ostensibly positive situations as well as to negative ones. For example, getting a new client or being accepted into a final round of interviews can upset your balance and send you into a whirlwind of anxiety and fear that produces just as much hopelessness and overwhelm as not getting the job or not making the cut.
B -- Beliefs
This is your opportunity to spell out the thoughts and beliefs that are fueling the negative response.
C -- Consequences
Look at the consequences of your beliefs -- what happened as a result? How do you behave? What happened then?
D -- Disputation
Actively dispute the beliefs that break your life balance and send you into the downward spiral. This is where you practice arguing with yourself in a productive way.
E -- Energization
When you have been effective in disputing the problem beliefs, you feel an influx of energy, a sense of renewed hope, or at least of peacefulness.
So, here's an example from my life:
Adversity:
I was excited about moving forward on two projects when I fell on my bike and cracked my ribs. I was okay and working hard with this for almost three days, then depression and anxiety set in and my usual positive thinking ability left me. Instead of feeling like moving forward I felt like bursting into tears.
Beliefs:
How will I ever restore my work life balance and get things done if I can't stop these mood swings? Maybe I am just not meant to lead these projects. I don't know enough and I can't seem to get started -- I probably should have said no in the first place. It would be better to bow out now, as embarrassing as that will be, than to keep going and have a bigger train wreck later when I just can't make the grade.
Consequences:
These beliefs leave me feeling very sad and small, like a six year old, and then I wonder how a six year old can possibly be a leader. I find it hard to concentrate and I just want to hide.
Disputation:
Constant low-grade pain can take it out of anyone. The world is not going to come to an end if you delay things because you've been injured. And who says you have to do it alone anyway? Some of the problem is that you don't have enough information to go forward. That calls for making requests of others, not for blaming yourself. And when you're not leaning on yourself so hard, your positive thinking ability starts coming back and your mood lightens -- so maybe it would be smart to cut yourself some slack this week after letting folks know what is going on. You don't have to crawl under a rock -- you can reach out instead to restore your work life balance. And even if some work projects end up being passed on to others, there will always be other opportunities.
Energization:
I called and emailed colleagues to regroup. Not only did these conversations relieve my anxiety, they made simple next steps quite clear. In one case, my summary of a conversation ended up being exactly what our group needed to move forward. Who knew? I had been worried about making things happen on my own when all along my strength was in articulating and clarifying complex input from many sources.
See how this works? I do strongly recommend the book as there are many more practices in it that address different aspects of overwhelm and ways to restore your work life balance. But if you struggle with hopelessness and challenge yourself to work through this one exercise on a regular basis (and if that means five or ten times a day, so be it), your positive thinking skills will grow and you WILL get relief. Remember -- don't measure change before it can happen -- keep doing the practices long enough for significant positive shifts to take root and grow.
