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Facing Your List Of Dont Wants
Though it may not be true for the younger people who are part of the dating world, there are some dating singles that wont always know what they do want in a partner. However, the longer you date and the older you get you will probably be very certain and will have (at the least) a mental list of what you dont want to deal with in a person you are dating.
The dont want lists are dangerous in that you may say you dont want to date a guy with a beard or a woman with green eyes. First you are limiting your choices on seriously unimportant aspects of a person as a whole being. And you cant hold a conviction based on outward appearances, simply because you are bound to meet a wonderful man with a beard, or a charming woman with emerald eyes and you become flaky with yourself.
Just like boundaries you set with any person in your life, the boundaries you set for your self have to be consistently enforced. Allowing indecisiveness in your choices of date material will often lead you directly toward the path where you are bound to repeat past mistakes. Since it is imperative you stick to the boundaries you have set its a great decision to allow your dont want list to contain things that are on a more inward level than eye color or hairstyles.
Being in an abusive, alcoholic, or immature relationship prior to your newest dating period in life is a perfect reason to be certain you are an emotionally healthy individual before you date again. In that emotional health you will gain a much better perspective of how abuse, addictions, and immaturity will lead your love train right back to the point of derailment again and again.
Typically when you talk to people who have been successful date partners and eventually successful life partners their topical list of what I dont want usually, in the end, goes right out the window. However the list that pertains deeply thought out and healthy choices for a date partner is used as a basis for happiness. Discarding your old list of dont wants and inventing a newer version from time to time is a sure sign of growth and overall health.
The best tip for successful dating is being a successful person in your own life first. Once you feel very comfortable within your own skin, once you can be on your own without feeling desperate for a date, and once you have decided the person you want to date will enhance what you are not complete you then you are the perfect date.
BONUS : Family and Marriage Therapy Programs
If you are looking for a low cost alternative to expensive marriage therapy from a private professional, you may want to look to see if any colleges or universities in your area offer family and marriage therapy programs.
Therapy can be very expensive when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples dont have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.
These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.
The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.
Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.
Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.
If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you dont think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years. Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isnt it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.
If you are looking for a low cost alternative to expensive marriage therapy from a private professional, you may want to look to see if any colleges or universities in your area offer family and marriage therapy programs.
Therapy can be very expensive when you are paying anywhere from $80 to $150 per hour for a licensed clinician. Many couples dont have an extra several hundred dollars a month in their budget to cover that type of expense, no matter how much they need the help. Family and marriage therapy programs offered by colleges and universities are usually much less expensive and thus much more affordable.
These programs provide valuable services to people in many ways. Not only do they conduct ongoing research on important topics, they also provide supervised student training. The therapy or counseling services offered by these family and marriage therapy programs typically utilize graduate students who are getting a degree in clinical psychology, general counseling, clinical social work or marriage and family counseling.
The students are not yet licensed, but are providing therapy in order to gain clinical experience which is required by most, if not all, graduate programs. They work under the supervision of a licensed counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker. As they work with you as a client, they discuss your progress and any concerns or questions they have with their supervisor. This both protects you as a client and also ensures that you are getting quality therapy.
Some family and marriage therapy programs may require that you fall within a particular household income range in order to qualify. They also are usually only available to you if you do not have any type of health insurance which covers outpatient mental health services. In some programs there may be no fee at all, but many do require a fee for services. Part of the reason for this is because people are generally more committed to and invested in the counseling or therapy process if there is a cost to them. When services are free they are often devalued by the client.
Many family and marriage therapy programs have a facility that is separate from the college or university. But others offer the services right there on the campus. Confidentiality is required just as it is with any other type of mental health or medical care.
If you are reluctant to get help through one of these family and marriage therapy programs because you dont think a student-in-training can help you, you may be short changing yourself out of a very valuable service. Graduate students are not only eager to learn, they are not yet burned out by the profession like some seasoned clinicians who have been doing therapy for years. Also, many graduate students are often very aware of and informed about the most recent advances in treatment for a variety of disorders, which may be to your advantage. So it is definitely worth making a call to see if there is a program in your area, and if you qualify. You will never know unless you try, and if your marriage is in crisis, isnt it better to thoroughly check out all your options rather than just discount them? If you qualify, at least give it a chance. You may be surprised at how much benefit you may get out of it.
