Counseling For Marriage

Counseling for Marriage

Many couples reach a point in their marriage when they feel they are at an impasse. They may have tried to overcome a serious problem or crisis on their own, and realized over time that perhaps getting counseling for marriage problems they are experiencing is a better approach. And while counseling won’t help every marriage, it does help many couples every day. For some marriages, it has not only helped, it has kept the couple from ending up in divorce court.

So, how do you determine if marriage counseling is something you and your spouse should pursue? You may be thinking that there is no way you want to air your dirty laundry in front of a total stranger, no matter how difficult things are right now. You may also be feeling that counseling for marriage is far too expensive. This article will address these two frequent concerns and provide you with some things to consider if you are trying to decide whether to seek professional help for your situation.

I don’t want to talk to a stranger about our problems.

This is a common objection with which many people struggle when the idea of counseling for marriage is being considered. What you need to realize is that one of the reasons marital therapy can be very helpful is because the therapist, as a stranger, is in a neutral and objective position.

If you have tried to talk to or seek advice from family or friends, you have probably found that they are too close to the situation to be helpful. They may have an emotional bias which makes it difficult to keep perspective regarding your situation. This in turn will color any advice they may try to offer. In some cases, talking to family members or close friends can make the situation even worse.

This is one reason why counseling for marriage can be very helpful. Once you start developing a rapport with the therapist, you will likely appreciate how safe it actually feels to discuss your problems with someone who isn’t going to take sides and who can look at your situation from a fresh perspective.

Counseling is too expensive.

Therapy does cost money. You are paying for a highly trained professional to provide a valuable service. However, you need to consider how much more expensive getting a divorce will be. For the cost of a divorce, not to mention all the pain and grief that often accompany it, counseling for marriage is usually much less expensive – in fact, often by thousands of dollars. When you look at it like this you may reconsider the objection that you can’t afford it. And there may be some options if finances are truly an issue.

In many cities there are clinics which offer counseling services for a reduced fee either based on income qualifications, or because the therapists are graduate students under supervision. Also, you don’t necessarily have to go weekly. You may be able to go every other week, which will make counseling for marriage more affordable for you as you reduce the overall monthly cost by spreading the appointments out a bit.

Both of these objections to counseling for marriage are very common. You are not alone if they have crossed your mind. But if your marriage has reached a crisis point hopefully you will carefully weigh the alternatives if you do not get some help.

BONUS : Destination Wedding Tips

What to consider when planning a destination wedding

• Family and guests: Will family members be invited? If you’re not inviting anyone to your wedding, you’ll have to keep in mind that feelings can, and probably will, be hurt. If you do hope to have a gathering of friends and family to witness your nuptials, you’ll have to consider whether this trip is something they can afford. Not everyone can comfortably bear the cost of airfare, hotel, wedding gift and any meals not included in the wedding festivities.
• Cost: One of the first considerations when planning a destination wedding, of course, will be cost. Will you and your intended be able to afford the cost of flying to another area, staying in a hotel and paying wedding costs? If money is no object, you’ll want to move on to your other considerations, namely family.
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• Wedding Dress: Will you be wearing a formal designer dress or a less formal beach wedding dress. How will you pack it and get it to your destination. You can send it ahead, but then you might risk it getting lost or damaged en route. You can also check it with your luggage, but you’ll have to trust the airline not to lose or misplace your bags. Your best bet is to treat your wedding dress as carryon luggage. This means however, there has to be room enough in the overhead compartment. Discuss this detail with your travel agent who may have a suggestion. She may also be able to make arrangements with the airline for your wedding dress to be hung in the flight attendants cabin. Places famous for destination weddings such as Las Vegas include wedding dress rental in many of their wedding packages. This may be something to look into.
• Legalities: What is involved in getting married in your chosen location? Will you need a blood test? What types of identification are required? Will your marriage be legal and binding in this country? Thoroughly research this before making any arrangements. The last thing you want is being told at the last minute you can’t get married because your paperwork isn’t in order. Marriage certificates can cost you quite a bit. Don’t forget the translation costs, if you are getting married abroad.

• Photographers/Videographers. Will you be bringing someone from your city/state or you prefer to hire someone at the location. This can get tricky. When bringing a photographer with you, cost can be a factor, since you’ll have to cover all the costs (flights, meals, housing). If you are getting married outside of North America, you should know that most photographers/videographers don’t have up to date equipment available. If you are doing a wedding in Cuba, you can be certain they can’t provide the same high end equipment, since it’s usually in the in the range of $10,000-20,000 Chances are they’ll be using outdated cameras. They can be cheaper than your own photographers, but you do you really want to risk it? Getting your prints can be a hassle, since fast communication is not always possible