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Christian Sex 7 Barriers To Fulfilling Married Sexuality

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Christian Sex - 7 Barriers To Fulfilling Married Sexuality

Many Christian married couples have yet to experience a fulfilling sexuality. Yet, it is an essential ingredient for a vital Christian marriage. Here are 7 barriers to a fun and fulfilling lovemaking for Christian married couples

1. Not knowing what God says about sex

The first commandment God gave was to engage in sex (Genesis 1: 27-28.) God had just created humanity in His image, commanded them to be “fruitful and multiply”, and then commented “it was good” (Genesis 1:31.) Somehow, it seems like this was a priority for Adam and Eve.

2. Talking very little with your spouse about sexuality or your preferences.

When couples can share with their spouse about sexuality or their sexual preferences, intimacy is created. An emotional bond results from the intimate level of vulnerability on a conversational level. A great place to start talking about sex is to share what lovemaking means to you emotionally, how frequent you would like to have sex, and even times of the day or specific days.

3. Engaging out of obligation, rather than enjoyment

Many believe sex was solely intended for procreation, rather than recreation. To the contrary, the poetic references in the Song of Solomon describe lovemaking that is enjoyable and anticipated. Feel free to have some fun with sex with different positions and places. However, all must be with respect for your spouse’s considerations. I Corinthians 1:4 states that our bodies belong to our mates, not just us. It is written from a spirit of equality, where both spouses are to serve one another, rather than one controlling the other. For one spouse to force the other into sexual behaviors without consent is abusive.

4 Failure to plan

Many couples, Christians especially, are sexually frustrated. While some of this may be attributed to different sexual appetites, much more is a result of infrequency. Sex is never convenient, but is critical to a vital relationship. Plan for sex like you would any other appointment. Rather than thinking of this as stale, consider that it allows you and your spouse time to plan for the special time together. Planning also alleviates any concerns for sexual deprivation and sexual pressure.

5. Using sex as a reward or punishment

Sex is often used as a reward for some positive behavior. Or it can be withheld when one spouse is angry with the other. Couples sabotage themselves when their sex life becomes a bartering system. Because of its vulnerability, lovemaking must be unconditional to be meaningful. Find other ways to thank your spouse, and healthy ways to overcome your resentments.

6. Unresolved sexual abuse issues

Sexual abuse issues follow spouses into marriage. Victims of sexual abuse may have an aversion to lovemaking, or experience painful reminders of the past. For some, there may be a distortion of healthy sexuality. If you have been wounded from sexual abuse, realize that you did nothing to deserve this. Furthermore, there is hope. I encourage you to find a counselor that specializes in this area, and begin the road to recovery. It is one thing to survive sexual abuse, and another to overcome it.


7. Pornography

The most significant destructive force to a healthy sex life is pornography. And yes, I am talking about Christian marriages. Images are burned into a person’s mind, thereby creating an insatiable thirst for more erotic behavior, or harmful behaviors. Some couples have stated the use of pornography enhances their sex life. I disagree. Not only is it degrading, but it fosters empty relationships by focusing on the physical rather than love. If your marriage has been affected by pornography, find a qualified counselor to help you rebuild the intimacy in your marriage.

In my experience as a Christian counselor, a lot of confusion exists amongst married couples regarding a healthy Christian sex life. The reality is that God has given sex as a gift for married couples to embrace rather than tolerate, or misuse. So much of today’s culture promotes a contaminated view of sex. As Christians, let’s change our culture by strengthening our marriages with a healthy Christian sexuality
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BONUS : Classic Groomsmen Gifts Never Go Out Of Style

Your bride-to-be goes down her checklist with you one more time, and she says, “How are you doing on your groomsmen gifts?” Your usual response would be to stare at her blankly. But not today! Below you’ll find a wealth of classic choices from money clip watches to cigar humidors that will impress her with your taste and preparedness.

These classic items round out the accessories of men of all professions and ages, and they never go out of style.

For Wearing
Cufflinks: Every man has in reserve at least one special suit that requires the shirt with the cufflinks. A classy groomsmen gift, cufflinks show you know he’ll have more occasions than just your wedding to look his best.

Pocket watch: Who doesn’t love the heavy feel and precision movement of a pocket watch? Clicking open the face to check the time is just one of the coolness factors of these items. Add engraving to your gift to increase its savoir-faire.

For Holding
Money clip: A popular item, and no man should be without one. Money clips come in many ingenious styles, including money clip/wallet combos, money clips with watches, money clips with Swiss army knives. They can be silver, steel or leather. Individualize them with engraving.

Jewelry box: For a place to stash all the cufflinks and watches, a special box lined with velvet is just the thing. A masculine touch is to find a model encased in leather or metal.

Travel bag: A practical, classic gift, personalized travel bags straddle the zone between luxurious and pragmatic.

Briefcase: Celebrate the occasion with an embossed leather briefcase for your groomsman. The range of styles and colors will ensure that your gift is unique.

For Entertaining
Bar set: You can just hear the ice cubes tinkling with a classy set for the top of the bar. There are sets to match any décor, from traditional to modern and everything in between.

Poker set: You never know when an impromptu poker game will form. Help your groomsman be prepared with his own personalized poker set.

Cocktail shaker: When the order is “shaken, not stirred,” everyone reaches for a cocktail shaker. Models are available in silver or steel, and ready for engraving.

For Indulging
Tankards and mugs: A hefty tankard or mug is both a drinking companion and a beautiful decorative item. Pewter with engraving is especially classy, or choose a heavy glass mug with a special message or insignia.

Cigar humido: If he likes cigars, he’ll need something to protect his investment. Humidors come in many elegant styles, including wood or leather. Be sure to include a few cigars in the package.

Hip flask: For a little pocket refreshment, what man can resist an engraved flask? Engraved silver sets the standard, and some models even include storage for a stogie.

Lighters: Seems like every man should have an engraved silver lighter, preferably given by a good friend. This gift will go over well and be useful for years to come.

The classic never go out of style. Now, it’s just up to you and your bride-to-be to choose which one.
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"Sauver Son Couple en 60 Jours"
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