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Why Should Single Christians Seek To Be Married?
This may seem like an obvious question but we often come across confused single Christians wondering whether God wants them to be married or with wrong ideas about why they should get married. In this article we will attempt to give some clear advice to all single Christians who are beginning the dating process and are wanting to know the right motives they should have regarding marriage.
Single Christians may need to overcome a burden of guilt regarding wanting to be in a loving relationship. This may have arisen through a feeling of unworthiness or lack of self-esteem: I dont deserve to get married, God doesnt love me enough to find me a partner or similar thoughts. The truth is that, right from the start, God has not wanted people to be alone. Adam was the first human being God created and He thought that Adam should not be on his own, in fact it was the first thing God said was not good when everything else in the garden of Eden was perfect.
So, if Gods purpose for his creation was for them not be alone then we can be sure that He has not changed and He still wants everyone to be married like Adam was. Of course we now live in a fallen world and Gods plan for marriage may not be perfected in all our lives the same as any of His may not be perfected. This is no reason not to pursue them though. So much of the Kingdom of God is built on relationship (perhaps all of it) and marriage within Gods plan is at is heart. The Bible says that marriage is a mystery that mirrors Christs relationship with His Church. If this was the best illustration St Paul could use then surely marriage is a significant thing for Christians.
The New Testament says that people should marry to avoid falling into immorality. Marriage is the best place for intimacy as it is a committed and blessed relationship. People go into marriage wanting that security from being with their partners. Intimacy outside this is temporary and risky both physically and emotionally and does not carry Gods blessing. Christians should not be scared of intimacy and consider it somehow non-spiritual, the truth is that it is deeply spiritual and can provide great healing within a marriage. Single Christians should seriously consider their own need for true intimacy before they begin dating, as this should not become a shock to them once they get married.
God wants single Christians to marry because He wants children to be born into the Christian community. We mention this lastly as we believe that the relationship aspects of marriage should be thought about first. If the relationship motives are not right then having children will not fix things.
So there are a number of good reasons why single Christians should be happy to seek marriage without feeling selfish or guilty. Seeking what is good for ones life is not to be criticised and people should encourage others looking to improve the quality of their lives through a married relationship.
BONUS : With Highlife Adventures, Dating Goes Back To The Future
In a world where men and women often spend more time with their BlackBerrys and iPhones than they do with other each other, the longing for shared experiences and face-to-face interaction has become palpable. According to Mary Vallone, President of Highlife Adventures (www.highlifeadventures.com), an upscale social club for singles in Chicago and Indianapolis, this is especially true when it comes to dating. Men and women are stepping out from the anonymity of the online dating world and reclaiming their lives, Vallone says. Todays singles not only want to meet people who share their interests, but they also want to share real-life experiences with like-minded potential mates.
For many singles, this trend toward group activities based on common interests breaks new ground in the dating arena. In a sense, were going back to the future, says Vallone. Its as though the ice cream social of the early 20th century has been kicked up several notches.
Indeed, Highlife Adventures 3,000 Chicagoland members would be hard-pressed to find an ice cream social among the over 65 activities planned each month. Those who crave adventure can go parasailing, caving, or experience being a fighter pilot for a day. Music aficionados can revel in a hot night of cool jazz or attend a rock star fantasy camp, while those with cultural interests can attend a performance of the Chicago Symphony or a Frank Lloyd Wright tour. Members who enjoy the club scene can participate in a trolley pub-crawl, a moonlight party cruise, or events like Martinis and Manicures or Pots n Shots Pottery Class.
Vallone explains that Highlife Adventures approach serves to bring people together in a pressure-free setting. When you attend an event, youre meeting people you already have something in common with and who are all there to meet you, she says. And, when youre having fun, you let your guard down and are more likely to meet the right person.
This new dating trend is in stark contrast to the bar scene of the 1980s, the one-on-one matching services of the 1990s, and the speed dating phenomena that peaked a few years ago. Not all singles like to hang out in bars, many dont care for the pressure of sequential one-on-one dates, and most people find that speed dating is too superficial, says Vallone. And, while online dating may appeal to the college crowd, many of the 25- to 45-year-olds in Highlife Adventures membership have been there, done that. According to Vallone, Meeting people online can be fun, but also fraught with pitfalls. Singles fare better when they put down the mouse, get out of the house, and meet people face-to-face.
Highlife Adventures helps ensure their members experiences are positive by prescreening potential members in person and having a company representative at each event. Ultimately, Vallone concludes, We dont match anyone. Instead, we provide unique, fun events where groups of singles can meet one another and find what they seek whether its a friend, a date, or a soulmate.