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This Husband Is Stalking His Wife

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This Husband Is Stalking His Wife!

Each week Burrel Lee Wilks III writes a column in his free weekly newsletter--The Burrel Report--answering questions readers send in, and giving other readers a chance to share their point of view too. Over the next few weeks Burrel has agreed to share his advice with you. Keep an eye open for Burrel and his unique style of "life coaching without sugarcoating" and don't be afraid to weigh in on the discussion. Send your comments to advice@burrelstreetwise.com

Question of the week: "I 'stalk' my wife..."

Q: Derrick L. Mansfield asks: "Why don't I trust my wife? Every time she leaves home, I feel like I have to trail her. I've even skipped work a day or two so's I can keep an eye on here without her knowing. I know it's irrational but I just can't help myself. She thinks we have the perfect relationship..."

A: Burrel says: "First off, who are you fooling Derrick? She doesn't think you have the perfect relationship. Why do guys always underestimate their women. I don't know what triggered this insecurity you have, but I'll keep it real Derrick, you need some help man. Look at you, like a second rate CIA agent dogging her footsteps! If you can't get things under control, talk to her honestly about what's on your mind, and get back on track, then I suggest you get some professional help. If you don't Derrick you're firmly on a path towards emotional self-destruction."

A: Betsy K. Oklahoma says: "I had a wildly jealous husband and he made my life a misery. He followed me constantly, sat outside my workplace, called all my friends--even questioned my boss one day. It destroyed our relationship, and eventually destroyed him too. Today he's a shadow of the man I met, just holding it together. My advice Derrick is understand that this is your problem, not hers. Speak to someone you can trust. Tackle this now before it kills your marriage too."

A: Joe K. St Louis says: "Whoa man. Cool it. Rather than stalk your missus you should probably be stalking yourself--find out who the heck you are."

A: Phillip J. Missouri says: "I bet she did something pretty bad to trigger this Derrick. Can't imagine you just getting a bee under your bonnet otherwise. If she did cheat on you once, then I don't blame you for trying to catch her out a second time. Still you gotta ask is she worth it? The worry, the missing work, docked pay and all that. Could be time to move on bro."

If you are interested in finding out more about The Burrel Report, Burrel's free weekly, or would like to syndicate Burrel's weekly column please check out www.theburrelreport.com or contact us on advice@burrelstreetwise.com
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BONUS : Three Totally Not-boring Themes For Your Next Bridal Shower

So you're planning a bridal shower -- and everyone says you need a theme. "Around the Clock." "Home and Garden." Yawn!

There aren't many times we get to be silly and girly in this world, so a bridal shower shouldn't be wasted. Make sure it's genuinely fun. It's simple --- just think about what makes your bride special, and let yourself loose with the theme. Here are a few ideas to charge up the noggin and organize something unique.

"Like High School — But Better."

Revive some great times by tipping your hat to the bride's high school days. Look up all those slightly embarrassing hits from the year she graduated -- let's say the 80s. (Create a gift CD of same for all your guests -- they'll secretly savor them when no one else is around.) Yes, they still make banana clips! Pass them out, along with big, dangly inexpensive hoop earrings and loads of jelly bracelets (remember? You wear about a hundred on each arm, a la vintage Madonna). Slather on the pink, blue and green eye shadow, metallic nail polish and bright blue mascara. Play the soundtracks from Pretty in Pink and Sixteen Candles.

Now for the games: segment a flashback classic, such as Madonna's "Holiday," into three or four CDs. Divide your guests into the same number of groups, and challenge them to come up with a dance routine to fit their part of the tune. Bring them back together in 10 or 15 minutes to perform their mini-masterpiece before a video camera you've set up for the occasion. Tape everyone's routine in order. Give a prize to the best choreographers (actually, give a prize to everyone for being a good sport). Together, you've created a music video that no one could forget. With any luck, it'll mysteriously show up at the reception.

Wine and Chocolate

Sometimes, when you tour a bunch of vineyards in wine country and you're really lucky, you hit upon "wine and chocolate" day. But you don't have to wait to hit the jackpot -- you can organize your own. Plan an easy afternoon of popular, easy-drinking wines like Merlot and champagne, and ask each guest to bring a creative form of chocolate. Some of our favorites: chocolate croissants, chocolate papaya crepes, chocolate-covered ginger, and yes, jalapeno brownies.

But don't stop with the food -- make an outright bordello of it. Pile lots of velveteen pillows around the room, drape the walls with heavy fabric, burn a bit of incense. Put on some soothing Moroccan music, and arrange a few flowers in plum colored pails or vases you've dressed up with groovy gold fringe. Now pass out those beverages in pretty glass flutes, dropping a rose petal in each one. Then dig in! (Have doggie bags at the ready for blissed-out guests who want to enjoy the spoils later at home).

Occupational Hazard

Few things are more flattering than having your friends develop a party around your job. After all, you spend day in and day out there, and what you do is probably pretty important to you. Is the bride a teacher? Hand out apple-shaped candles as favors ... and place them in brown paper lunchbags. Give her a chalkboard eraser "to erase any grudges" after she's married: spray paint the top gold or silver, and have everyone sign it with a Sharpie. Sew or glue together a quick clip-on or bandana for her dog's collar that reads, "Teacher's Pet."

Is your bride an attorney? Hire a Judge Judy impersonator (yes, they exist!) to make a showing. Ask each guest to "submit a brief" -- a gift of lacey underwear for the honeymoon, accompanied by a personal note to wish the bride well.

More Ideas for Exciting Showers

Christmas in July: Place the bride's gifts under a big, frou frou artificial tree you've hung the guest favors on. Serve iced eggnog and mocha-cinnamon smoothies. Everyone loves Christmas ... especially when you've had a break from it, and don't have to agonize over what to buy the boss.

Dancing Queens: Dress up in big, pouffy prom dresses from the past (you'll find them at every thrift store), super-glam makeup, even tiaras. Lay on loads of body glitter. Head out en masse to your neighborhood restaurant or karaoke bar and toast the bride as she opens her gifts.

Cheesecake Party: Ask your guests who their favorite hunk is. Serve mini-cheesecakes in lots of different flavors (Baileys and orange, amaretto, chocolate fudge), and place a framed photo of their favorite "cheesecakes" next to each serving platter, with a special label: "Brad Pitt Blueberry," "Creme de Menthe Mel." Get inventive with the descriptions. Borrow or rent the biggest espresso machine you can find, and serve up steaming coffee drinks.

Whatever you end up going with, don't be afraid to be creative. The less you go by the book and the more you think about what makes the bride special, the more fun your shower will be for everyone.
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"Sauver Son Couple en 60 Jours"
d'Antoinette BOILEAU

"Comment Éviter et Surmonter les Crises de Couple ?"
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