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Save Your Marriage Before It S Too Late
< < < Save The Marriage
Everyone wants to have a happy marriage. A happy marriage is one of the finest things life can offer. But after some time different kinds of problems appear in our life. It is true that many people give up on a marriage too soon, and too many marriages end up being weighted down by unresolved difficulties.
What happens if none of those things from the beginning of your relationship are happening any more such as: the little favors nowadays, cook your favorite meal, buy you something special; those little things that showed you she cares about you. Knowing that you may be losing the person you love is hard on anyone. Like most people in your situation you are probably feeling scared and confused, not knowing what to do next. If you feel that your marriage is crisis, don't show your partner that you're panicking; try to keep calm and in control your emotions.
Both of you need to remember that no matter how bleak things seem, it is possible for many marriages to get back on course, but both husband and wife should be willing to cooperate. The important thing is to stay calm and to know what to avoid and what to aim for to make relationship work. You can save your marriage even if your partner wants a separation, she asks for divorce, or doesn't love you anymore. But to stop divorce you need to avoid doing what hurts your relationship, knowing that there's always a hope to save your marriage.
Jealousy is one of the reasons why most people get divorce, but is not the only one. If she caught you with infidelity and that's why she wants to get divorce, the hardest thing you will need to do is to rebuild trust in your relationship: always be on time home, do what you say you do and be honest. Also, never lie to your spouse again, communicate clearly all the time, take time to reassure your spouse if she feels insecure, show her affection on regular basis and also be patient with her.
As I said there are many other reasons why people get divorce. This is usually a big mistake so try first to do all the sacrifices that are necessary to save your marriage.
-first and the most important is to identify your problems; take an honest look at the relationship and determine what the problems are; truly express what is disturbing you in, as much details as possible; look for solutions rather that blaming your partner
-if you are guilty for this situation, show her your companion, respect and affection; everyday remind her how much you love her and put meaning from the heart into those words
-start doing things that were usually done when both were still in loved and married
-express your feelings, communicate your feelings honestly and openly as you can
-establish open dialog and begin to compromise and heal; discuss about your feelings and come to an agreement about what you feel the relationship needs
-also you have to learn to listen as well; the things that are brought up should be treated as guides so that the couple will learn how to respect each other's feelings and points of view; she may talk about what she is feeling regarding the relationship
-you have to work hard to understand and change what is bothering your partner in the relationship; even if she still loves you, she may see some persistent problems in you, and that's why she may have lost hope for the relationship because of them; you have to understand better your partner's perception of these problems
-if you are getting stale on your sex life, talk to each other, spend more time alone just the two of you, go on a vacation
-open yourself to the fact that any issue can be understood and interpreted in a variety of ways, otherwise you will continue to stay in a rut
-think about the ways you contribute to the situation
-learn to internalize and understand that your partner is not you; both have to find ways to empathize with the other's point of view
-appreciate the value of the other's experience in the way that is different than yours
-don't allow old negative behavior patterns to swamp the present moment
-learn to forgive and forget; learn to forget anything and accept one another; bringing up the past will not save the marriage; one must learn to forgive the spouse and forget all the mistakes from the past
-seek both for a solution; remember that you are two different people; is not about who is wining here, it's about respect, intimacy, growth and emergence
-set goals to work as a couple, such as: to communicate without arguing, to attempt to do things as a couple, to find an end to your problems, and also write down your feelings and allow the other to read them
-last but not at least, be patient; your marital problems did not crop up overnight and they will not be healed overnight; discuss all the emotions that you both feel until you are centered and ready to begin anew
So, if you have some problems in your marriage, wait first to see if that marriage can be saved, don't be hurry to get divorced. Always have to think positive, that there is a hope to save your marriage no matter how many problems appear in your life. And remember that to have lasting satisfaction you need to know how to keep love and good feelings alive.
< < < Save The Marriage
BONUS : Save Your Marriage - Communicate!
When people are told that they need to communicate more they often think that that is an open invitation to talk but there is a complete difference between talking and communicating.
Communicating is an art, and art of combining the ability to express your opinions and feelings in such a way as to ensure that the person or people you are talking to understand what you are trying to say with the ability to listen and understand another persons point of view.
The number of times I have sat in a room, often in meetings and at conferences and Ive just watched and listened to what is going on around me. It is totally fascinating when whole groups of people have no ability to listen to their colleagues, partners or friends and therefore cannot understand or comprehend any opinion other than their own.
What could have been covered in five minutes or learned in half an hour often takes hours or days just because people refuse to sit back, listen and understand.
Over the years its amazing the number of times people are provided with information that, if they acted upon, could totally alter a relationship, career or the success of a business. But, because the sheer lack of peoples ability to listen to and think through another persons point of view unique opportunities pass them by.
Relationships are no different to the work environment other than there are, usually, just two of you. Often, what could be a marriage made in heaven is destroyed by the sheer inability to communicate. The most successful relationships, be it business or personnel are those whereby both parties have strong verbal and listening skills.
Many relationship problems begin with poor communication. Couples often feel that their partner should know what they are thinking and how they feel so do not communicate and then wonder why they feel neglected and under valued.
How many people decide not to tell their partner something just because they dont know how to say it and then the problem just eats away at the relationship until there is no relationship left? What a waste, just the sheer ability to share a problem can make what seemed to be an insurmountable issue a tiny little blip on a large horizon.
So whenever you feel stressed or dont know what to do dont just bottle it up, talk about it, seek advice and listen to the answer. Dont keep quiet when you know in your heart a problem has to be aired and dont put off until tomorrow what has to be sorted today. Tomorrow never comes!!
It is how you say something that will ruin a relationship and not what you have to say. The wrong way is just to blurt out something that you know will aggravate or distress your partner. The last thing you want is for them to get defensive, storm off or burst into floods of tears. You want the person you are trying to communicate with to be open and perceptive and in order to be able to achieve this, your timing and approach has to be right.
Every individual is different what will work with one person wont necessarily work with another and with some people all you can do is sew the seed and then let them walk away and work it out for themselves.
One person I know never actually listens to anyone. She is one of those people who is always right no matter what, hasnt a clue about being a team player and operates within a zero tolerance zone. Traditional approaches and method of reasoning just dont work and alls you can do is plant the seed of thought which eventually develops into her, own acceptable idea.
Given peoples individuality you need to learn what, is the right approach for you and your partner. Make sure that you never start a discussion if you dont have time to finish it, dont insist on a debate when one of you is off out to work, dealing with the kids or just relaxing in front of their favourite TV programme. If the timing seems to be never right ask the question when would it be a good time for us to just sit down and talk?. Whatever you do, do not let yourself appear agitated either in what you say or how you say it. Body language can just as easily put your partner on the defensive as what you say to them. Even if your partner is vying for a fight just dont react.
Remember, the first golden rule, approaching defensive with defensive is a sure way to failure.
One of the key ways to improve communication is to develop strong listening skills. Couples often fail to listen to what their partner has to say, interrupt and give the impression that no matter what is said they wont change their mind. One trick to ensure that you have listened and you do understand is to repeat what you have heard. This will demonstrate that you have listened to what was said and by repeating it back you have the opportunity to comprehend and understand.
How often do we try and work through a problem and its only at the point we are explaining the issue to someone else does the magic light bulb switch on which enables us to come up with the answer.
If you are taking an exam would you expect to know everything just by being told it once? For most people I would say not. We have to work at it and work at it hard.
No one ever said marriage would be easy its just another lesson we have to learn as we experience life but if you want to save your marriage and make it even more special than it was before then there is very little to stop you.
Relationship problems can lay heavy on your mind, become a burden and what was originally a small issue can develop into an insurmountable mountain.
If you begin to feel that marital issues are beginning to weigh heavily on your mind, take a break and do something you enjoy and preferably with your partner. If you can refocus your attention of the better things in life, day to day issues always seem that much smaller. Spending a little time together and enjoying each other's company could enable you and your partner to recapture some of the feelings that have been lost through constant arguing and help you regain a positive perspective on your relationship.
Just one last word of advice, when you are feeling down and feel you no longer want to save your marriage just remember that the grass isnt always greener on the other side.
If you believe you have financial issues now what do you think it will be like when you split your assets, if you feel you dont have time to do things what will it be like when you are on your own or worse a single parent and if you feel lonely now how will you feel when every time you walk in your front door alls you have is your own company. Now none of these thoughts have been aired to encourage you to stay in a bad relationship but rather to make you consider whether or not yours is as bad as you think.
You are the master of your own destiny and if you want to turn a bad marriage around you have the power at your fingertips.
When people are told that they need to communicate more they often think that that is an open invitation to talk but there is a complete difference between talking and communicating.
Communicating is an art, and art of combining the ability to express your opinions and feelings in such a way as to ensure that the person or people you are talking to understand what you are trying to say with the ability to listen and understand another persons point of view.
The number of times I have sat in a room, often in meetings and at conferences and Ive just watched and listened to what is going on around me. It is totally fascinating when whole groups of people have no ability to listen to their colleagues, partners or friends and therefore cannot understand or comprehend any opinion other than their own.
What could have been covered in five minutes or learned in half an hour often takes hours or days just because people refuse to sit back, listen and understand.
Over the years its amazing the number of times people are provided with information that, if they acted upon, could totally alter a relationship, career or the success of a business. But, because the sheer lack of peoples ability to listen to and think through another persons point of view unique opportunities pass them by.
Relationships are no different to the work environment other than there are, usually, just two of you. Often, what could be a marriage made in heaven is destroyed by the sheer inability to communicate. The most successful relationships, be it business or personnel are those whereby both parties have strong verbal and listening skills.
Many relationship problems begin with poor communication. Couples often feel that their partner should know what they are thinking and how they feel so do not communicate and then wonder why they feel neglected and under valued.
How many people decide not to tell their partner something just because they dont know how to say it and then the problem just eats away at the relationship until there is no relationship left? What a waste, just the sheer ability to share a problem can make what seemed to be an insurmountable issue a tiny little blip on a large horizon.
So whenever you feel stressed or dont know what to do dont just bottle it up, talk about it, seek advice and listen to the answer. Dont keep quiet when you know in your heart a problem has to be aired and dont put off until tomorrow what has to be sorted today. Tomorrow never comes!!
It is how you say something that will ruin a relationship and not what you have to say. The wrong way is just to blurt out something that you know will aggravate or distress your partner. The last thing you want is for them to get defensive, storm off or burst into floods of tears. You want the person you are trying to communicate with to be open and perceptive and in order to be able to achieve this, your timing and approach has to be right.
Every individual is different what will work with one person wont necessarily work with another and with some people all you can do is sew the seed and then let them walk away and work it out for themselves.
One person I know never actually listens to anyone. She is one of those people who is always right no matter what, hasnt a clue about being a team player and operates within a zero tolerance zone. Traditional approaches and method of reasoning just dont work and alls you can do is plant the seed of thought which eventually develops into her, own acceptable idea.
Given peoples individuality you need to learn what, is the right approach for you and your partner. Make sure that you never start a discussion if you dont have time to finish it, dont insist on a debate when one of you is off out to work, dealing with the kids or just relaxing in front of their favourite TV programme. If the timing seems to be never right ask the question when would it be a good time for us to just sit down and talk?. Whatever you do, do not let yourself appear agitated either in what you say or how you say it. Body language can just as easily put your partner on the defensive as what you say to them. Even if your partner is vying for a fight just dont react.
Remember, the first golden rule, approaching defensive with defensive is a sure way to failure.
One of the key ways to improve communication is to develop strong listening skills. Couples often fail to listen to what their partner has to say, interrupt and give the impression that no matter what is said they wont change their mind. One trick to ensure that you have listened and you do understand is to repeat what you have heard. This will demonstrate that you have listened to what was said and by repeating it back you have the opportunity to comprehend and understand.
How often do we try and work through a problem and its only at the point we are explaining the issue to someone else does the magic light bulb switch on which enables us to come up with the answer.
If you are taking an exam would you expect to know everything just by being told it once? For most people I would say not. We have to work at it and work at it hard.
No one ever said marriage would be easy its just another lesson we have to learn as we experience life but if you want to save your marriage and make it even more special than it was before then there is very little to stop you.
Relationship problems can lay heavy on your mind, become a burden and what was originally a small issue can develop into an insurmountable mountain.
If you begin to feel that marital issues are beginning to weigh heavily on your mind, take a break and do something you enjoy and preferably with your partner. If you can refocus your attention of the better things in life, day to day issues always seem that much smaller. Spending a little time together and enjoying each other's company could enable you and your partner to recapture some of the feelings that have been lost through constant arguing and help you regain a positive perspective on your relationship.
Just one last word of advice, when you are feeling down and feel you no longer want to save your marriage just remember that the grass isnt always greener on the other side.
If you believe you have financial issues now what do you think it will be like when you split your assets, if you feel you dont have time to do things what will it be like when you are on your own or worse a single parent and if you feel lonely now how will you feel when every time you walk in your front door alls you have is your own company. Now none of these thoughts have been aired to encourage you to stay in a bad relationship but rather to make you consider whether or not yours is as bad as you think.
You are the master of your own destiny and if you want to turn a bad marriage around you have the power at your fingertips.
