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Save Our Marriage

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Save Our Marriage

Married couples often go through a period of time when they think the relationship may be starting to unravel. If you and your spouse are in this situation, you are probably looking for solutions to the common question, “how can I save our marriage?”. While every couple is different, there are some key things which are practically universal when it comes to keeping a marriage together.

If you are worried about your relationship and wondering to yourself, “how can I save our marriage?”, then please keep reading. This article will help you to understand 4 basic needs that should be met, at least to a significant degree, in a marriage. If your marriage is in trouble, then at least one or more of these needs is not being met. Work on these if you long to answer the question of “what can I do to save our marriage”.

The need to be loved

Everyone has the basic human need for love. Without it, life is empty and lonely. For many people, just knowing they are loved and cherished by one key person, often a spouse, but it could also be a friend or family member, is incredibly empowering. Being loved can give strength, inspiration, and purpose. It is imperative when it comes to knowing how you can “save our marriage” that you truly show your spouse that he or she is loved.

The need to feel significant

In a world with over 6 billion people, it is pretty easy to feel insignificant. When two people get married, there is often an amazing sense of being truly significant and special to one another. Like love, this feeling of significance can be energizing and empowering. Feeling significant gives a person a sense of specialness. Even if no one else notices, you know that your spouse knows how special and unique you are. If “how can I save our marriage” is your concern, then you need to ask yourself if you are treating your spouse as someone who is truly significant to you. Are you meeting that need?

The need for intimacy

We all have a deep need and longing for intimacy. Marriage is a sacred place for both physical and emotional intimacy to be shared between you and your spouse. When you are intimate, you shut out the rest of the world and share a closeness and bond that is very powerful. Intimacy is that sense of connection which we all long for. If you hope to “save our marriage”, then you must allow that vulnerability with your spouse that is part of true intimacy. If either of you are guarded, or refuses to let the other person in, then this need cannot be fully met.

The need to be your authentic self

Unfortunately we live in a world in which we often feel we must put on a façade or persona. This is particularly true in our work but may also be true in many other areas of our life. Few people are secure enough to fully be themselves with others. But the one place which should be safe to be authentic is a marriage. As with intimacy, if one or both of you feel you must be guarded, and can’t truly be yourself, it will hinder your relationship in many ways.

The strongest and healthiest marriages are those in which both people can be truly authentic with each other. In order for you to find the best way to “save our marriage”, you must find a way to eliminate any barriers in your relationship which inhibit either of you from truly being yourself with the other.

When these four basic human needs are being met within your marriage, you will no longer need to wonder “how can I save our marriage”. Your marriage will thrive and be stronger than ever.

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BONUS : Save the Marriage

No marriage is perfect, but some certainly fair better than others. And many marriages fluctuate between periods of things going really well and periods of struggle. But when things get particularly bad, you may find yourself wondering what things you can do to save the marriage. While in some cases it may take drastic measures, there are often some less extreme changes you can make which will have much more positive impact than you might think.

If your marriage is currently going through a difficult time, read on for two seemingly small adjustments you and your spouse can make to save the marriage. Often itÂ’s the little things that can really make a difference over time.

Get out of the routine rut

It is very easy to get stuck in a mundane routine which begins to make your marriage feel lifeless and dull. It happens in countless marriages because to a large degree, we, as humans, like to stay in our comfort zone. And routines are “comfortable”. That being said, routines do serve some purpose in terms of keeping life ordered rather than chaotic. So there must be a balance.

If you are at a point where you need to save the marriage, it may be time to spice things up a bit and change your routine. Decide to break your normal routine for a few weeks. Perhaps you can agree to be more spontaneous when it comes to intimacy. Rather than do the same activity week after week (like dinner at your parents every Thursday night) reserve that block of time and choose a different activity every week. It will help you pull out of the stagnant pattern you have fallen into.

DonÂ’t forget the romance!

Often when two people feel they need to save the marriage, the romance has fizzled or disappeared altogether. When you were first dating, and perhaps even early on in your marriage, there was probably a lot of romance. Flowers, love notes, candlelight dinners, etc. were an important part of your relationship.

Romance is fun, exciting, and is a way to show your spouse how special he or she is to you. Romance is also part of what separates your relationship with each other from all your other relationships in life.

Too many couples quickly neglect this part of their relationship, especially when careers, children and household chores take up all of their time and energy. The romantic gestures and times together dwindle or cease altogether. Except for occasional sex, they begin practically living like roommates.

If your marriage is struggling and you are not sure what to do to save the marriage, one of the things which can help is to start “dating” again and bring romance back into the picture. While it may seem silly or superficial, those special loving gestures can help you begin to reconnect. You know what things make your spouse feel special. And that is really what romance is all about.

If you truly want to save the marriage, work towards bringing some spontaneity and romance back into your relationship. Not only will it make you both feel more energized and alive, it will add some much needed fun. But most of all, those romantic gestures will help reignite the passion that was once there as you strive to show your spouse, in little ways, just how much he or she means to you.


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