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Are You Considering A Second Marriage: Giving Marriage Another Shot...
Before making another step in marrying again, are you ready to experience again the consequences of living again with someone?
First, you must review the performance you made in your first marriage. You will ask to yourself, how could I be a better spouse? How come our union ended in divorce? What really went wrong? What weaknesses do I still need to work on? There are many questions remained in your first marriage. So you must able to answer first all unending questions before thinking to marry again.
Second, know what youre really looking for in a partner. Be sure of the character traits you want. Dont force yourself to settle down just because youre lonely and in dire need of a companion. Finally, let time answer your questions. Enjoy your freedom, at least for a moment and give yourself much time in finding your potential mate before you say I do again.
In entering another chapter in your life, second marriage is a very challenging obligation for you. Many different things will about to change in your everyday life when you finally decided in remarrying again. Freedom of you will be lost again. You must be prepared of the new responsibility you will take and how you take it with readiness.
For marrying the second time around, there are lots of things to consider for making it a successful one. There are many situations you must able to fully understand in order to avoid again differences to your new spouse. These are the following:
EXPECTATIONS FOR A HEALTHY MARRIAGE
In the beginning of the second marriage, problems will not occur instantly. As to a new couple, you are savouring your new found love. However, too many expectations may arise when one is to demanding to the other. This can be fixed if you can tell what your limitations are and what you can only do.
REALISTIC APPROACH OF LOVE
This can be the best thing ever happened to the second marriage. Love must blossom unconditionally with respect. Give and take-this is for the equal releasing of feelings.
POSITIVE ATTITUDE AND OUTLOOK IN LIFE
It may not be perfect at all, but happy in what you have. Do not force yourself in giving just to ensure the happiness on your spouse. You must be contended of the abilities and capabilities of your partner. Encourage your partner in giving his/her best in any other way.
COMMUNICATING ABOUT FEELINGS
You must be open to what you really feel. Have the time to talk. This can help in keeping the flame alive. Listen to your partner. In listening you get what he/she wants to relate.
UNDERSTANDING AND ACCEPTING DIFFERENCES
You may not be able to do everything, its doesnt cost you to any problem. Understanding and accepting weaknesses are part of marriage. Humans are not perfect, so they intend to make wrong actions. You must respect the little things he/she made.
MAKING DECISIONS AND SETTLING ARGUMENTS
These kinds of situations are very crucial. It can make or brake. In making decisions you must tell what youre thinking. Possibly, accept your partners opinion. Settle your arguments in due time. Arguments are really mind busters. This may create gaps in the relationship.
COMMON SPIRITUAL FOUNDATION AND GOAL
It may be good if both of you believe in the same religion doctrine. It can avoid debates on what are the right beliefs. A dream of a perfect family is one common goal. This can be done if both are very cooperative and serious. It can be a good foundation in the years to come. This can be the guiding force of making a successful relationship.
COMBINING A FAMILY
What if your new spouse has a child or children in his/her previous marriage? You must know at least step-parenting skills. You are dealing emotions of their new environment. Be a good at them as they are also important to your spouses life. Accept them as you accepted your partner. Make them also one of your main priorities.
In committing your life again to someone, make it sure that you are really serious and prepared. Sacrifice and true love must be your agenda as for marriage its not taken for granted. So to speak, may your second marriage be a successful and fruitful one.
Best wishes and good luck.
BONUS : Are You Married, Yet Lonesome Tonight?
In spite of being social animals, human beings are essentially lonely creatures. Our search for a life partner stems from a need to fill some deep void that each of us feels in the recesses of our soul. Marriage seems to be the key that unlocks the door and guarantees us release from our 'solitary confinement'.
Well, so far so good. The first few years of married life are wonderful - a series of romantic attempts on the part of both parties to 'complete each other'. The mantra seems to be " You and I together - we don't need anybody else. Honey, to hell with the world, we have each other." But the very purpose of coming together appears to get defeated as the new couple tends to isolate itself in a world of its own. Instead of being lonely separately, now they are lonely 'together'.
Slowly, of course, things changes some more, as in the want of all human relationships. After struggling to find and firmly establish a united identity, suddenly the couple struggles for individuality once again. Where is the I and Me within the Us and We of marriage? Well, you would have better luck looking for a needle in the proverbial haystack as by now "you don not give me enough time" has turned into "you do not give me enough space"! But it is no one's fault. You see, that's the nature of marriage. Each shrinks space. Your space. All space.
So you could be sitting in a large, decent size room, enjoying the view outside the window, when suddenly your better half enters. And then, it's the same room, the same view except that it's smaller now. It's about half its size. But of course, you have to be married to know what I am talking about.
So loneliness, did you say? Within marriage? Honey, some days I get reduced to "just give me an hour of peace. And quiet. Alone. And don't even call". So forget it. In a 'good marriage', there is no scope for being lonely. Heck. There is no time for it. Not with kids. The word has almost dynasoric connotation. When were married women so blessed?