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Make Your Groomsmen Gifts As Individual As They Are
Who made up the rule that groomsmen gifts have to be the same for each groomsman? When everything else about your wedding day is unique to you and your fiancé, how about making each gift you give unique to the loved ones you have standing at your side.
Give some thought to what kind of guys your best pals are, and plan a gift accordingly.
For the Sportsman
If he never misses a game, if his only change of wardrobe involves switching teams when a season ends, if people come to him for advice on the office sports pool, this man will be especially touched by a groomsman gift that feeds his obsession. How about a personalized stadium blanket or cooler to bring to the game ? Monogrammed baseball bat or chip bowls, beer mugs with his favorite team, or stadium radio/binoculars (where you can watch the game live and hear the local play-by-play at the same time) will have him thinking of you every time he yells, Booyah!
For the Urban Professional
This man is on the go, making the world go round with his stock trades, contract negotiations or international deals. Show him you care with leatherin the form of an embossed briefcase, a card holder or a money clip. Travel items would also be especially appreciated, such as a leather encased travel clock, jewelry box or grooming kit. A smooth rich leather surface on any item adds a mark of distinction that your groomsman can be proud to display from the board room to the bedroom.
For the College Buddy
Lots a memories between the two of you? Then how about a college-themed photo album filled with all those shots neither of you want anyone else to see? Youll laugh together remembering old times when you were both single, and appreciate even more still being friends as you start your families. A case of your favorite libation from back then, along with tickets to the next home game will sweeten the deal and set you on the road to creating even more memories.
For the Family Man
He may be way ahead of you here, with a wife and kids alreadyand hes loving every minute of it. Show him you admire his achievement by giving family-oriented items that enable him to spend more quality time with those he loves. Tickets to sporting events, ski resort reservations or camping equipment will be fun for the whole family, and hell enjoy it even more knowing it came from you.
For the Rebel
Is his Harley his second home? Is his hair longer than his significant others? Are the tattoos outnumbering his teeth? Consider distinctive gifts such as a leather poker set for late nights with the gang or an embossed shoe-shine kit for his leather boots. Gift certificates to music stores or motorcycle shops would go over well, along with personalized silver or gold jewelry. Have him roaring down the road in style.
For the Never-Without-a-Book Guy
The bestseller list is made by guys like these. Fascinated with the world around him, he stays abreast of all the current trends through reading the latest from the worlds most well-known authors. It might be hard to get this guy a book that he doesnt already have, but you can be sure to please with a generous gift certificate to his favorite local or online bookstore. Include wedding themed nameplates for adhering in the books when he gets them, and itll be like youre as up-to-the-minute as he is.
For the Metrosexual
Hey, we all know that grooming is essential for a groomsman. But some groomsmen take this duty more seriously than others with sharp attention to detail every day of the year. How about a luxurious facial kit in a travel bag, an elegant sterling silver shaving brush, or an engraved manicure set? Just be sure you look as good as he does on your wedding day.
The whole point of groomsmen gifts is the same as the point of your friendshipshave fun with them. You cant go wrong when you show them how important to you they are with a unique groomsmen gift thats just for them.
BONUS : Making Marriage Work, Part 1
(This is part 1 of a 5-part series on making marriage work)
It was Joans first counseling session with me, but it didnt take long before the tears began to stream down her cheeks. Im married to the man of my dreams, but Im miserable, she said, reaching a hand up to wipe away her tears. We were so in love and now things are falling apart. We are fighting and distant much of the time. I love Justin and I dont want to lose him, but I dont know what to do. I dont know why this is happening. I seem to be getting angrier and angrier and he is getting more and more distant.
What are you angry about? I inquired.
Justin keeps pulling away from me. Hes working longer and longer hours. But even on the weekends when he is home, he just seems to be distant. Hes either watching TV, playing computer games, or in the garage working in his workshop. When I try to talk with him about it, he shuts down even more. We cant talk at all anymore.
Like Joan and Justin, many couples are stuck in a dysfunctional relationship system, wondering what happened to the love and passion they had at the beginning of their relationship.
Two major fears may be undermining your relationship with your partner:
Fear of rejection: the loss of anothers love through anger, judgment, emotional withdrawal, physical withdrawal, or death.
Fear of engulfment: the loss of self through being controlled, consumed, invaded, suffocated, dominated, and swallowed up by anothers demands.
Until these fears are healed, you will likely react defensively whenever they are triggered. Joan reacted by getting angry when her fears of rejection were activated, while Justin withdrew when his fears of engulfment were triggered. You might react in different defensive ways, but the result will be the same - your reactive behavior coming from your fears of rejection or engulfment will trigger your partners fears of rejection or engulfment. Now both of you are acting out of fear. Together you have created an unsafe space where love and intimacy will gradually erode.
Most of us have not learned to stay open when our fears of being rejected, abandoned, engulfed, or controlled are triggered. If, when these fears are activated, you focus on who is at fault or who started it, you perpetuate the problems. Blaming your partner for your fears, as well as for your own reactive, unloving behavior, makes the relationship feel unsafe.
You both end up feeling badly, each believing that your pain is the result of your partners behavior. You feel victimized, helpless, stuck, and disconnected from your partner. You desperately want your partner to see what he or she is doing that (you think) is causing your pain. You think that if your partner only understands this, he or she will change - and you exhaust yourself trying to figure out how to MAKE your partner understand.
Over time, passion dries up. Superficiality, boredom, fighting, and apathy take its place.
The dual fears of LOSING THE OTHER through rejection and LOSING YOURSELF through being swallowed up by the other are the underlying cause of unloving, reactive behavior. These fears are deeply rooted. They cannot be healed or overcome by GETTING someone elses love. On the contrary, you must heal these fears before you can SHARE love - give and receive love - with your partner.
The key to doing this is learning how to create a safe inner space where you can work with and overcome your fears of rejection and engulfment. In this series, I will show you a powerful six-step process you can use to create and maintain the inner safety you need to become strong enough to love.
Only when you have achieved inner safety and inner strength can you create a safe relationship space. Joan gradually learned to stop attacking Justin and take loving care of herself whenever her fears of rejection surfaced. She learned to create inner safety when she felt threatened rather than trying to get Justin to make her feel safe from her fears.
You can do this too. In fact, any two people who are willing to learn to create their own inner sense of safety can also learn to create a safe relationship space where their intimacy and passion will flourish and their love will endure. The rest of the articles in this series will lead you through this six-step healing process.
(This is part 1 of a 5-part series on making marriage work)
It was Joans first counseling session with me, but it didnt take long before the tears began to stream down her cheeks. Im married to the man of my dreams, but Im miserable, she said, reaching a hand up to wipe away her tears. We were so in love and now things are falling apart. We are fighting and distant much of the time. I love Justin and I dont want to lose him, but I dont know what to do. I dont know why this is happening. I seem to be getting angrier and angrier and he is getting more and more distant.
What are you angry about? I inquired.
Justin keeps pulling away from me. Hes working longer and longer hours. But even on the weekends when he is home, he just seems to be distant. Hes either watching TV, playing computer games, or in the garage working in his workshop. When I try to talk with him about it, he shuts down even more. We cant talk at all anymore.
Like Joan and Justin, many couples are stuck in a dysfunctional relationship system, wondering what happened to the love and passion they had at the beginning of their relationship.
Two major fears may be undermining your relationship with your partner:
Fear of rejection: the loss of anothers love through anger, judgment, emotional withdrawal, physical withdrawal, or death.
Fear of engulfment: the loss of self through being controlled, consumed, invaded, suffocated, dominated, and swallowed up by anothers demands.
Until these fears are healed, you will likely react defensively whenever they are triggered. Joan reacted by getting angry when her fears of rejection were activated, while Justin withdrew when his fears of engulfment were triggered. You might react in different defensive ways, but the result will be the same - your reactive behavior coming from your fears of rejection or engulfment will trigger your partners fears of rejection or engulfment. Now both of you are acting out of fear. Together you have created an unsafe space where love and intimacy will gradually erode.
Most of us have not learned to stay open when our fears of being rejected, abandoned, engulfed, or controlled are triggered. If, when these fears are activated, you focus on who is at fault or who started it, you perpetuate the problems. Blaming your partner for your fears, as well as for your own reactive, unloving behavior, makes the relationship feel unsafe.
You both end up feeling badly, each believing that your pain is the result of your partners behavior. You feel victimized, helpless, stuck, and disconnected from your partner. You desperately want your partner to see what he or she is doing that (you think) is causing your pain. You think that if your partner only understands this, he or she will change - and you exhaust yourself trying to figure out how to MAKE your partner understand.
Over time, passion dries up. Superficiality, boredom, fighting, and apathy take its place.
The dual fears of LOSING THE OTHER through rejection and LOSING YOURSELF through being swallowed up by the other are the underlying cause of unloving, reactive behavior. These fears are deeply rooted. They cannot be healed or overcome by GETTING someone elses love. On the contrary, you must heal these fears before you can SHARE love - give and receive love - with your partner.
The key to doing this is learning how to create a safe inner space where you can work with and overcome your fears of rejection and engulfment. In this series, I will show you a powerful six-step process you can use to create and maintain the inner safety you need to become strong enough to love.
Only when you have achieved inner safety and inner strength can you create a safe relationship space. Joan gradually learned to stop attacking Justin and take loving care of herself whenever her fears of rejection surfaced. She learned to create inner safety when she felt threatened rather than trying to get Justin to make her feel safe from her fears.
You can do this too. In fact, any two people who are willing to learn to create their own inner sense of safety can also learn to create a safe relationship space where their intimacy and passion will flourish and their love will endure. The rest of the articles in this series will lead you through this six-step healing process.
