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Is Love Important In Marriage You Betcha
Is Love Really Blind > > >
Have you ever fallen in love? Do you wish that the person you are with right now is the same person who will share the rest of your life with? Is there a reason a person to be in love?
Everybody wants to love and be loved in return. Falling in love is one of the best feelings ever to feel by an individual. When in love, a person has all the reasons to smile and be happy.
But sometime love is misunderstood. Most people think that love is merely an emotion. That it is something that you feel. Yes love gives you an emotion but you can not feel it. In marriage, it something that fades when time passes by.
Love is how you decide to act and treat someone on a particular way. It is more on the actions you intend to show than you feel. Love is the promise and the vow you and your partner had made on your wedding. It is a pledge, a security.
This is the reason why you promised to love and cherish each for all eternity. You both did not promise to feel a certain way. Instead, the promise and the vow was made and sealed for better or for worst.
Â…. Is love really important in marriage?
Definitely it is important! It is because feelings usually rise and fall, come and go. There may be times that you are upset or you have hurt the person you love. Instances like this may happen, but it does not mean you have to give up easily. Actually, this is the best time that love calls for your attention.
Because you love your partner, chances are you will learn to forgive, mend, encourage, cherish and improve your marriage into the better. It is not that everything will always be easy and simple. There will be times that those good feeling is just around the corner and sometimes they are left unrecognized. However, your continuous commitment to love as you have promised will make sure that the feeling will come up always.
Love must be a commitment. Most marriages failed because one of the couple falls in love to someone else. This is because of what people call the “feelings” and lust. The feelings will always change.
Making a comparison between your spouse and the other person is not right. It actually leads your attention out of your partner. Once this happen, it would be very easy to look for third party and destroy your marriage relationship. It will be easier for you to set aside your commitment and your promise to your marriage.
Therefore it is necessary to keep love in mind always. Do not forget the commitment you have for your partner. This is important since you two can help each other face difficult trials and solve problems the natural way.
It is actually your decision to love your partner that will help you get through. When you and your partner remember the promise of love and be together through thick and thin then, the marriage is secure. Without the commitment, the marriage will be weak to endure the problems that are unavoidably to come.
Lastly, keep in mind, love is not merely a feeling. It is a decision to make and to perform a certain way with the person you choose marry and be with forever.
Is Love Really Blind > > >
BONUS : Is Love Really Blind?
“Is love really blind?” I wonder. Having been happily married (and some of the times not so happily) for 30 years, I cannot help but ask myself more frequently whether my love is blind. Unsurprisingly to myself, the answer seems to be affirmative. How else would I have been able to go through the various difficult times in our relationship? Logic would dictate that we would have broken up by now. The next question I have been asking is whether it had been good that my love is blind.
I found an interesting section in the book “An Introduction to Positive Psychology” by WC Compton with the title “Is Love Really Blind?”. What you will find in the rest of the article is based on what Compton wrote together with my thoughts.
In our minds, very often, we have pictures of our partners that are inaccurate. We have what is called “positive romantic illusions” about our partners. These illusions explain why we are oblivious to the faults of our partners and so enamoured of them.
While it is true that these illusions tend to fade with time, it is also true they can also strengthen with times, albeit with different characteristics.
In the former, when marital problems surface, and if the illusions disappear completely, it might lead to eventual marital breakup. Fortunately, most of the times, the illusions might weaken but do not disappear completely. The remnant illusions might help to weather the storms in the relationships.
In the latter case, the marriage might stay strong even though there may be many situations and incidents that might wreck a weaker relationship. We might even increase our willingness to accept many apparent faults and mistakes, and even idiosyncrasies, of our partners. Let us examine why this happens.
It has been found that couples who idealized their partnerÂ’s attributes, or had exaggerated beliefs about their control over the relationship, or were overly optimistic about the future of their relationship, were happier. Their relationships were also more stable and lasted longer.
These observations lead me to draw the following inferences/conclusions:
It is through the positive romantic illusions about our partners that explain why we choose our partners and not someone else.
The positive romantic illusions about our partner help us to stick to our partner even during bad times and under otherwise unfavourable conditions.
We might continue to deliberately keep a biased positive view of our partner so as to maintain, or even enhance, the relationship.
There is mutual enhancement of the positive romantic illusions that partners have for each other.
People are more committed to spouses who see them in positive light.
However, should the stress present in the coupleÂ’s life lead to strains in the relationship, the positive romantic illusions might begin to fall apart, leading each partner to realize they have been fooling themselves about the qualities of their partners. Without the presence of the positive romantic illusions, the relationship can then deteriorate very rapidly.
Overall then, it is good for couples to maintain the positive romantic illusions they have. This way, they will remain ‘in love’ and continue to experience all the joys of romantic love.
References:
www.succezz.com/StresstheSilentKiller.html
www.succezz.com/How2BHappy.html
www.succezz.com/S2/7WaystoLiveLiftotheMax2.html
“Is love really blind?” I wonder. Having been happily married (and some of the times not so happily) for 30 years, I cannot help but ask myself more frequently whether my love is blind. Unsurprisingly to myself, the answer seems to be affirmative. How else would I have been able to go through the various difficult times in our relationship? Logic would dictate that we would have broken up by now. The next question I have been asking is whether it had been good that my love is blind.
I found an interesting section in the book “An Introduction to Positive Psychology” by WC Compton with the title “Is Love Really Blind?”. What you will find in the rest of the article is based on what Compton wrote together with my thoughts.
In our minds, very often, we have pictures of our partners that are inaccurate. We have what is called “positive romantic illusions” about our partners. These illusions explain why we are oblivious to the faults of our partners and so enamoured of them.
While it is true that these illusions tend to fade with time, it is also true they can also strengthen with times, albeit with different characteristics.
In the former, when marital problems surface, and if the illusions disappear completely, it might lead to eventual marital breakup. Fortunately, most of the times, the illusions might weaken but do not disappear completely. The remnant illusions might help to weather the storms in the relationships.
In the latter case, the marriage might stay strong even though there may be many situations and incidents that might wreck a weaker relationship. We might even increase our willingness to accept many apparent faults and mistakes, and even idiosyncrasies, of our partners. Let us examine why this happens.
It has been found that couples who idealized their partnerÂ’s attributes, or had exaggerated beliefs about their control over the relationship, or were overly optimistic about the future of their relationship, were happier. Their relationships were also more stable and lasted longer.
These observations lead me to draw the following inferences/conclusions:
It is through the positive romantic illusions about our partners that explain why we choose our partners and not someone else.
The positive romantic illusions about our partner help us to stick to our partner even during bad times and under otherwise unfavourable conditions.
We might continue to deliberately keep a biased positive view of our partner so as to maintain, or even enhance, the relationship.
There is mutual enhancement of the positive romantic illusions that partners have for each other.
People are more committed to spouses who see them in positive light.
However, should the stress present in the coupleÂ’s life lead to strains in the relationship, the positive romantic illusions might begin to fall apart, leading each partner to realize they have been fooling themselves about the qualities of their partners. Without the presence of the positive romantic illusions, the relationship can then deteriorate very rapidly.
Overall then, it is good for couples to maintain the positive romantic illusions they have. This way, they will remain ‘in love’ and continue to experience all the joys of romantic love.
References:
www.succezz.com/StresstheSilentKiller.html
www.succezz.com/How2BHappy.html
www.succezz.com/S2/7WaystoLiveLiftotheMax2.html
