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Infidelity Spying Is Not Revenge

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Infidelity: Spying Is Not Revenge

Do not use what you find on your cheating spouse as ammunition for revenge. Sure, you may have wonderfully violent fantasies of what you would really like to do to him/her and the other person. This is very normal. But, don’t act them out.

Using what you find to extract revenge will only lengthen the time of pain and anger. It will undermine your integrity as a person, lower your personal standards and make you exceedingly unattractive.

Resist the temptation to sling the mud!

Keep what you find to yourself.

The obvious signs of a cheating spouse disturbed you. You spy because the truth will set YOU free. The quickest cleanest way to break free from the extramarital affair is to set your focus on you as you navigate your way through the difficult weeks and months.

The sooner the two of you can face each other, without outside input or influence, the better off you and the relationship will be.

There usually is no reason to share new found information about cheating husbands or cheating wives with family, friends, children or the spouse of the other person. A concern about sexually transmitted diseases or health risks might be an exception. If it is important to share such information, do so without much fanfare or drama.

And of course, if you pursue legal action, any information obtained through spying might be helpful to your attorney. Some “evidence” does carry weight in particular states or districts.
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BONUS : International Marriages

People marry people from other countries for many different reasons. For myself, being a true romantic, I would like to believe that the most important reason of all is love.

As a result of the modern forms of transport and communications technologies the world has gotten smaller and it is much easier to bring people from all corners of the globe closer together. People have many questions about international marriages. The words obstacles and hurdles often get used when speaking of cross-cultural relationships. Instead, why not look at these so-called obstacles as exciting opportunities?

It is, of course advisable not to go into the marriage blindly, but then again the same is applicable for any marriage. Cultural contrasts could be a way of extending the boundaries you may be living by. An international marriage just might open up your connection with others and your whole world.

Lets take a look at your new world out there.

* Culture. Think of all those new customs and traditions that you will have the chance to experience, embrace and add to your life.
* Language. When last did you stretch yourself and learn something new? How exciting to be able to say "Hola". "Bonjour", "Ola'". You may just find out that you have an aptitude for languages and enter a new career.
* Children. Is there any particular reason why children need to be brought up according to one particular set of customs? Real education starts at home.
* Patriotism. This needs not be exclusive. Open your arms to the extraordinary diversity of our global world.
* Names. Which last name will each of you take when you marry? Could there be a way to combine both and be uniquely international?
* Food ideals. How electrifying to taste new flavors and to celebrate cooking your first ever dish of paella, malasadas, sauerbraten or bobotie.
* Interior design. If you are creative and love decorating, different cultures offer endless ideas for color, textures, materials, patterns and more.
* Vacations. You may have always wanted to canoe down the Amazon, to go camping along the Orange River, volunteer to tag fish in Alaska or take a road trip across the down Route 66. Now could be your chance.

In conclusion, just like all loving, happy, successful and thriving relationships, it depends on simple, but vital things like support, respect, tolerance caring, commitment, problem solving, communication, being willing to resolve conflict, interdependence, a good sense of humor and love, love, love . as much of it as you have to give. International marriages, like any other marriage can be very fulfilling, gratifying and worthwhile when love is at the center.
Quote of the week

"The proper basis for marriage is mutual understanding." Oscar Wild.
Action plan for the week

* Think of 10 little ways to keep your romance alive.
* Choose 5 of these.
* Practice them this week.
* Bask in the glow of love that happens a result of your actions.
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"Sauver Son Couple en 60 Jours"
d'Antoinette BOILEAU

"Comment Éviter et Surmonter les Crises de Couple ?"
de Camille ROCHET

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