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Assertiveness â How To Say No To Others Who Ask Too Much
There are many people that try to ask too much from us. They want everything handed to them and this is something that may get in our way from time to time. It is not necessary for us to meet the needs of everyone around us all the time. Sure, it is nice to help out and do a good deed from time to time. However we have to keep our own needs and wants first in our life and make sure that we are assertive enough to get them.
You must take a few actions to be sure that you are not letting others walk all over you. There are some of our family and friends that think they can get us to anything that they want us to at any given moment. This should not be the case. It is always nice to help a friend in need, but some people that have no assertiveness are going to put themselves last on the list.
You have to think about the things that you need in life. Do not let others make you forget how important you are and what you need to do. If you think that there is someone in your life that is holding you back because they are asking too much from you, there are some things that you can do to be more assertive in life.
1. You have to resist giving into others and not doing everything for other all the time. You need to learn when you can help and when you need to say no to people. These people are only taking advantage of you because they know they can.
2. You have to learn to stand up for yourself. You are important and there are times when you need help in life too. You should think about how you can be stronger and get more assertiveness training to be the one that takes control of their life.
3. When you are saying no to someone that is always asking too much of you, remember to be strong. You have to be completely decisive and explain why you are not doing whatever the task is. You do not have to apologize for not doing something.
4. You need to add some of these words when you speak, ÂI want and  I think to your statements. Your opinions are important and some people that are so involved in their own life are not going to take the time to see that you have your own opinions and feelings. It is part of being assertive by expressing how you feel to others.
5. Make sure that you are communicating to the person that is always asking too much of you. You need to let them know how you feel and that they are simply taking advantage of you and the needs that you have. You have to let them know what you mean and mean what you say.
Do not forget to practice all of these examples so that you can get it right when someone out there is trying to take advantage of you. You should always use eye contact when you are speaking to someone and be sure that you are doing all that you can to be assertive and stick up for the things in life that you want the most. You have to use your communication and your assertiveness to make your own life better and to no be taken advantage of by those that are around you. This is the only way that you can be happy and survive the regret of being Âhad by your friends and family members.
BONUS : A Step in Building Your Self Confidence
Everything has to start somewhere. Unless you start revamping your self confidence, you will have to agonize endlessly with the very thing you are fearful of- low self confidence.
Our self confidence is the accumulation of all our reactions to the experiences that life brought us, the manner by which we were guided by the older people in our environment and how we and the society view us. Many factors are contributors to our personal understanding of confidence.
One determining factor is how well we expect ourselves and the circumstances of our lives should be. Many tend to fall into the trap of creating unrealistic expectations. In the process, their losses are becoming too painful that they eventually suffer the effects of creating lower self confidence. Others, on the other hand, lean more on playing safe and thus create more achievable goals that are easier to attain. And because achievements add largely to the development of self confidence, these people benefit from knowing that they are somehow capable of doing something.
You may already have heard the phrase- "its all in the mind". And to many psychological and emotional conditions, we can actually say that everything is all in the mind. They rooted and develop from the mind and so, the antidote might as well come from the same source.
You can always condition yourself to feel the way you want or to feel the way you don't want. You can suppress emotions and in the process, help emotions materialize. Say you want to feel hatred of yourself over not being good enough. If you make yourself believe in that hatred and you truly are convinced that you are not good enough, you will only get two products- one, genuine hatred and two, lower self esteem.
The majority of us are caught unaware with our words. We sometimes fail to check ourselves of the things we are registering in our subconscious mind.
You may not have deliberately said it recently but since you are used to hearing yourself mumble- "I am a looser", or "I'm not worthy of anything", your subconscious self might as well believe that these are the facts.
Even now as we speak, many out there believe in these statements.
They are not mere words. They are for real and they will actually dig deep in your subconscious mind, which will then be integrated into your being. If you believe in these then there is no way that you won't believe in their direct opposite.
Central to building self confidence is one's belief in himself. Whatever you set your mind to believe will all be taken as factual. Thus, you only have to manipulate the values that you would like to acquire. Otherwise, no amount of waiting can make you change. The motivation must come from you. Suggestions may come from outward sources but in the end, it will be you and yourself that will set out to do the battle.
Changes must begin from you. You may start with talking to yourself using positive statements like "you are great" (for you truly are a great individual waiting for your talents to be tapped). Or "you are beautiful" (because believe in this or not each one of us were created beautifully to give glory to our Maker).
You cant stay long in your madness over having low self confidence. Somehow, you have to change your perspectives and live a different life that looks forward to better things.
Everything has to start somewhere. Unless you start revamping your self confidence, you will have to agonize endlessly with the very thing you are fearful of- low self confidence.
Our self confidence is the accumulation of all our reactions to the experiences that life brought us, the manner by which we were guided by the older people in our environment and how we and the society view us. Many factors are contributors to our personal understanding of confidence.
One determining factor is how well we expect ourselves and the circumstances of our lives should be. Many tend to fall into the trap of creating unrealistic expectations. In the process, their losses are becoming too painful that they eventually suffer the effects of creating lower self confidence. Others, on the other hand, lean more on playing safe and thus create more achievable goals that are easier to attain. And because achievements add largely to the development of self confidence, these people benefit from knowing that they are somehow capable of doing something.
You may already have heard the phrase- "its all in the mind". And to many psychological and emotional conditions, we can actually say that everything is all in the mind. They rooted and develop from the mind and so, the antidote might as well come from the same source.
You can always condition yourself to feel the way you want or to feel the way you don't want. You can suppress emotions and in the process, help emotions materialize. Say you want to feel hatred of yourself over not being good enough. If you make yourself believe in that hatred and you truly are convinced that you are not good enough, you will only get two products- one, genuine hatred and two, lower self esteem.
The majority of us are caught unaware with our words. We sometimes fail to check ourselves of the things we are registering in our subconscious mind.
You may not have deliberately said it recently but since you are used to hearing yourself mumble- "I am a looser", or "I'm not worthy of anything", your subconscious self might as well believe that these are the facts.
Even now as we speak, many out there believe in these statements.
They are not mere words. They are for real and they will actually dig deep in your subconscious mind, which will then be integrated into your being. If you believe in these then there is no way that you won't believe in their direct opposite.
Central to building self confidence is one's belief in himself. Whatever you set your mind to believe will all be taken as factual. Thus, you only have to manipulate the values that you would like to acquire. Otherwise, no amount of waiting can make you change. The motivation must come from you. Suggestions may come from outward sources but in the end, it will be you and yourself that will set out to do the battle.
Changes must begin from you. You may start with talking to yourself using positive statements like "you are great" (for you truly are a great individual waiting for your talents to be tapped). Or "you are beautiful" (because believe in this or not each one of us were created beautifully to give glory to our Maker).
You cant stay long in your madness over having low self confidence. Somehow, you have to change your perspectives and live a different life that looks forward to better things.
