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Life And Self Identity
Develop identity of the self and society for a good life
A child is given learning about how to behave and live be in the society and by this they develop a notion that they have to be perfect in front of others so as to show ones status and position. This mentality of the people is very harmful as one should remain what he or she is and not pretend to be someone great. The more real you will be, the more you will be admired by all. Nevertheless, at the same time if you adopt negative approach to win the hearts of your fellow mates, this will not contribute in making your self-identity.
Self-identity is a state in which a person knows well about him and knows what his or her position is in the society. This self-identity is achieved when an individual tries to work on the areas to know about his or her inner self. A person is able to listen to his or her inner voice of the mind and soul when he or she is meditating in solace. Meditation has been a widely accepted practice in which a person is able to link his or her inner self and know what the strengths and weaknesses are. The development of the self-identity is possible when the person works towards shaping their personality so that the potentials and strengths of an individual can be used in shaping the society and thereby developing the identity of the society as a whole.
People often live authentically and feel embarrassed to give their opinions and views to other people, as they fear that others might make fun of their views. Therefore, they keep their ideas deep inside the mind and heart, which in turn hampers their overall development of the self. In addition, it further hinders them in society as if a person will not work towards making his or her society a successful one, the society will automatically be given the tag of backward or orthodox and that would be the biggest shame pr threat. Therefore, people should understand that their self-identity and abilities are related directly or indirectly to the identity of the society in which they reside.
To maintain the true identity of a society, it is important the people should adopt a positive and normal behavior that is free from lies, deception and fakeness. A true behavior does not mean that people should always live under the spell of ethics and values. Nevertheless, they should be what they are and give your views openly so that these ideas can be useful in the development of the societal identity.
A societys identity is dependant upon what its position is in the world. Like if a society adopts some notions and strictly follows them though they may be harmful for others, the society will be regarded as a selfish one, which thinks of catering to the needs of only their people and to others. Thus, a true identity of the self and society has to be maintained so that development can be done in the true sense.
Identity of the self and society can also be developed when the society starts appreciating its people of their contributions. People gets support from their fellow mates and this is turn increase their morale and they start working seriously towards the betterment of the society.
People should be confident enough so that the threats from the external factors should be faced with confidence. Individualism and ego are the two main threats that an individual and society faces. Therefore, ego should be kept aside as it will not contribute in maintaining the identity of the self and society.
Last but not the least, to attain social identity; it is important that one should be well acquainted with the self-identity. Discover you.
BONUS : Title:
Love Yourself Like Your Neighbor: Turn Self-Criticism into Self-Confidence
Word Count:
993
Summary:
Self-confidence is an inside job! Try treating yourself as well as you treat those you love. Learn how positive self-talk can help you turn self-criticism into stepping stones to change and success.
Keywords:
self-confidence, self-esteem, self-talk, confidence, loving yourself, self encouragement, course-correction, golden rule, managing oneself, motivation, attitude
Article Body:
Self-confidence is important to all of us. In the stress literature, it's one of the characteristics of the hardy professional, the professional that remains healthy in the face of the high stress of constant change. It's important, but how do you build and maintain a viable and realistic self-confidence?
One way to look at self-worth is to see it as an inference from what you to say to yourself privately about yourself. It's estimated that you make between 300 to 400 self-evaluations per day. Unfortunately, for the majority of us, those evaluations are far from kind. Most major in self-criticism. Research suggests that for the average person 80% of their self evaluations are negative; only 20 percent are positive.
A good mistake can often be worth 45 minutes of self-whipping-"That was stupid. I can't believe I said that. And they were all watching me. They're probably going home tonight and talking about me!" If that's not bad enough, we have an old file clerk in the back of our brain that responds to our attack and goes back to check the evidence-"Just a minute, boss. Let me check the 'stupid' file here. Why yes, you are stupid! In fact, you're getting worse. This reminds me of the time you..." Most of us are good at making ourselves feel worse, not better.
Even when you do give yourself the luxury of feeling good about something you did, it seldom lasts long. We discount our successes-"I was lucky!" "It's about time; I should've done this weeks ago!" "They could've done better!" When was the last time you lost sleep over a good day? Never!
Even though self-critical, we put our best food forward publicly. We present ourselves as being 95% effective and admit making an occasional mistake to be human. You may fool others, but you don't fool yourself. When you compare what you know about yourself with everyone else's public image, you lose badly. When you major in the self-critical, you end up searching for loved ones, parents, friends, and bosses who will affirm you and make up for your own lack of self-esteem. Unfortunately, when you have to have the support of others, they control your confidence. By withholding approval they can leave you feeling less effective, less confident and more dependent.
You would not talk to others the way you talk to yourself! "You did that? You're stupid! Did anyone see you? They saw you! Do they know I know you? I mean it reminds me of the time you...." Who needs friends like that! If a manager talked to an employee the way you talk to yourself, he could file a grievance and win. You deserve the same if not better treatment than what you would give a friend. Learn to make room for your mistakes as learning experiences.
Since mistakes are a part of life in the fast lane, we need to find ways to be self-critical without majoring in self-whipping. Start by looking at criticism as course-correction data that helps us get back on track in our journey to success. The goal is not conviction or blaming; it's providing future-focused feedback that allows you to be more effective tomorrow!
Scott Adams, the Dilbert Cartoonist, put these insights into practice in dealing with a novice tennis partner: "Once at a tennis tournament, I was paired with a woman who had just learned how to play. Every time she missed a shot, she immediately turned to me, expecting that I would be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, I talked to her about our strategy for the next point. By doing so, I sent a very important message: The past doesn't matter. I didn't encourage her with empty praise-that rarely works. But I know that if she dwelled on a mistake, she was more likely to repeat it, and that if she focused on how we were going to win the next point, she was more likely to help us do just that. Over several days, her abilities improved dramatically and we ended up winning the tournament."
Treat yourself the same way. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes. If you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you will hit a tree out the front window. In fact, that is why your rearview mirror is smaller than your front window. Get out of your rearview mirror and start focusing on driving to a desired future. Try letting go of the general self-attacks; use specific feedback. What did you do that you did not handle well?
Remember, it is easier to admit you made a mistake than to admit you are one. I'm not rude, but I've had moments on the freeways of Los Angeles that I'm not proud of. I know they weren't appreciated either; the other driver didn't even wave with all his fingers.
After identifying a specific mistake, focus on the future by asking two key questions: First, what can you do to rectify the problem? If any constructive action or apology could help rectify the problem, schedule a time to do just that. And secondly, and most importantly, how would you handle the same situation if it should occur again? If you have a valued colleague or friend, use them as a sounding board. If not, write down your thoughts or use these questions to help focus your self-criticism. When you've learned from the past and focused on a new strategy, get back into the game of life.
Self-confidence begins when you can learn from errors, and then move beyond them to consistently improve. Welcome to the challenge of turning your mistakes into stepping stones to making change work for you and your organization. To really make a difference add the habit of ending the day by catching yourself being effective; use your calendar to record one success. You may be winning and not know it if you're not keeping score!
Copyright © 2006 by Terry L. Paulson. All Rights Reserved
Love Yourself Like Your Neighbor: Turn Self-Criticism into Self-Confidence
Word Count:
993
Summary:
Self-confidence is an inside job! Try treating yourself as well as you treat those you love. Learn how positive self-talk can help you turn self-criticism into stepping stones to change and success.
Keywords:
self-confidence, self-esteem, self-talk, confidence, loving yourself, self encouragement, course-correction, golden rule, managing oneself, motivation, attitude
Article Body:
Self-confidence is important to all of us. In the stress literature, it's one of the characteristics of the hardy professional, the professional that remains healthy in the face of the high stress of constant change. It's important, but how do you build and maintain a viable and realistic self-confidence?
One way to look at self-worth is to see it as an inference from what you to say to yourself privately about yourself. It's estimated that you make between 300 to 400 self-evaluations per day. Unfortunately, for the majority of us, those evaluations are far from kind. Most major in self-criticism. Research suggests that for the average person 80% of their self evaluations are negative; only 20 percent are positive.
A good mistake can often be worth 45 minutes of self-whipping-"That was stupid. I can't believe I said that. And they were all watching me. They're probably going home tonight and talking about me!" If that's not bad enough, we have an old file clerk in the back of our brain that responds to our attack and goes back to check the evidence-"Just a minute, boss. Let me check the 'stupid' file here. Why yes, you are stupid! In fact, you're getting worse. This reminds me of the time you..." Most of us are good at making ourselves feel worse, not better.
Even when you do give yourself the luxury of feeling good about something you did, it seldom lasts long. We discount our successes-"I was lucky!" "It's about time; I should've done this weeks ago!" "They could've done better!" When was the last time you lost sleep over a good day? Never!
Even though self-critical, we put our best food forward publicly. We present ourselves as being 95% effective and admit making an occasional mistake to be human. You may fool others, but you don't fool yourself. When you compare what you know about yourself with everyone else's public image, you lose badly. When you major in the self-critical, you end up searching for loved ones, parents, friends, and bosses who will affirm you and make up for your own lack of self-esteem. Unfortunately, when you have to have the support of others, they control your confidence. By withholding approval they can leave you feeling less effective, less confident and more dependent.
You would not talk to others the way you talk to yourself! "You did that? You're stupid! Did anyone see you? They saw you! Do they know I know you? I mean it reminds me of the time you...." Who needs friends like that! If a manager talked to an employee the way you talk to yourself, he could file a grievance and win. You deserve the same if not better treatment than what you would give a friend. Learn to make room for your mistakes as learning experiences.
Since mistakes are a part of life in the fast lane, we need to find ways to be self-critical without majoring in self-whipping. Start by looking at criticism as course-correction data that helps us get back on track in our journey to success. The goal is not conviction or blaming; it's providing future-focused feedback that allows you to be more effective tomorrow!
Scott Adams, the Dilbert Cartoonist, put these insights into practice in dealing with a novice tennis partner: "Once at a tennis tournament, I was paired with a woman who had just learned how to play. Every time she missed a shot, she immediately turned to me, expecting that I would be disappointed or frustrated. Instead, I talked to her about our strategy for the next point. By doing so, I sent a very important message: The past doesn't matter. I didn't encourage her with empty praise-that rarely works. But I know that if she dwelled on a mistake, she was more likely to repeat it, and that if she focused on how we were going to win the next point, she was more likely to help us do just that. Over several days, her abilities improved dramatically and we ended up winning the tournament."
Treat yourself the same way. Life is like a moving vehicle with no brakes. If you spend too much time in the rearview mirror, you will hit a tree out the front window. In fact, that is why your rearview mirror is smaller than your front window. Get out of your rearview mirror and start focusing on driving to a desired future. Try letting go of the general self-attacks; use specific feedback. What did you do that you did not handle well?
Remember, it is easier to admit you made a mistake than to admit you are one. I'm not rude, but I've had moments on the freeways of Los Angeles that I'm not proud of. I know they weren't appreciated either; the other driver didn't even wave with all his fingers.
After identifying a specific mistake, focus on the future by asking two key questions: First, what can you do to rectify the problem? If any constructive action or apology could help rectify the problem, schedule a time to do just that. And secondly, and most importantly, how would you handle the same situation if it should occur again? If you have a valued colleague or friend, use them as a sounding board. If not, write down your thoughts or use these questions to help focus your self-criticism. When you've learned from the past and focused on a new strategy, get back into the game of life.
Self-confidence begins when you can learn from errors, and then move beyond them to consistently improve. Welcome to the challenge of turning your mistakes into stepping stones to making change work for you and your organization. To really make a difference add the habit of ending the day by catching yourself being effective; use your calendar to record one success. You may be winning and not know it if you're not keeping score!
Copyright © 2006 by Terry L. Paulson. All Rights Reserved
