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Why Are Single Christians Turning To The World
Non-Christians are going to wonder why I seem to be putting you down in this article but the truth is that IÂ’m writing this for committed Christians not those who have nothing to do with God or the Church.
So we are going to ask the question “why are single Christians increasingly turning to non-Christians to seek relationships?” We are also going to deal with what the consequences are for the Christians themselves and also for the wider Church. Finally we are going to ask what can be done about it from an individual perspective and also what we can do for each other.
If you have been a single Christian for any length of time you will know how hard it is (at times) to find suitable marriage partners. There are a multitude of reasons for this, not least the fact that there are more women than men in the Church (on balance). This is an unhealthy balance that leads to a feminisation of all things Christian when looked at from a male point of view.
Many men consider Christianity to not be the most masculine of religions and the Church has its fair share of men dressed in long robes and not enough masculine role models. This does not encourage them to come through the doors in the first place. Men are attracted to physicality which is why martial arts are so popular. Make Church life for Christian men more masculine and active and you will attract more men into the Church.
So with not enough men coming into the Church and also the more masculine men being put off the Church the choice for your average single Christian woman is narrowed considerably. So what is she to do? Prayer is a good start but without action it is faith “without works” and faith “without works” doesn’t work! So what next? This is where the natural tendency is to get discouraged and start looking outside the Church. This is the chief reason why single Christians are going out into the non-Christian world looking for relationships. The result is that they are getting pregnant and marrying un-suitable people who don’t share their faith or values. Long-term this is the cause of many people leaving the Church.
So what can be done about this? In my current role I am constantly asked about how to meet new single Christians. My first response is usually to recommend that they start where they are in their Church and try to get to know everyone they donÂ’t yet know. After this there is the wider body of local Churches which may be visited from time to time. Start to network with other people from these Churches who are in the same situation. Organise events, ring each other up and encourage one another.
Finally, the Internet has enabled many to meet suitable people who they would not have met otherwise. DonÂ’t dismiss it. With faith and persistence it really can work. DonÂ’t give up too easily. Many people expect instant results with the Internet and this is un-realistic. Take your time and get friends to support your activities prayerfully.
BONUS : Why Are Women Often Attracted To Older Men? (the Sugar Daddy Phenomenon)
It's true to say that many younger men, on reaching the age in their lives when pubescence has taken control of their lateral thinking, find themselves fantasizing about older females, often twice their own age and upwards. For example, it's quite common for a young man, still at school age, testosterone flying everywhere, to have the 'hots' for one or more of his female teachers, a neighbor's wife or even a pal's mother.
The consensus of opinion reached by many is that the attraction by a young male to a more mature woman is based on the fact that not only does she have experience.. but a working knowledge of the male anatomy, and a sexual prowess not to be discovered so easily in a younger woman his own age.
Although there are exceptions to the rule, in the majority of cases, his secret lusting remains just that, and goes unnoticed by the older female who still regards him as a young student or friend of her son.
Howerever, as the young male grows older, and gains his own level of experience, so his desire for the maturer female wanes, and on reaching middle age, he will frequently have his head 'turned' by a much younger woman.
All this is in stark contrast to the attraction patterns noted in the life of the female of the species. Whereas the young girl, on first becoming sexually aware, will hone her intimacy skills on the younger male, yet she will often be less interested in him as she gets older, turning her attention to the more mature men that cross her path. But why is this the case?
The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon, whilst oftentimes the source of amusement for some, can in fact develop into quite a powerful relationship, with loyalty, romance and chivalry being key factors in the union. Many women note that a male around her own age or younger, will not show her the same level of respect, or pay as much attention to detail that his older counterpart will be inclined to display.
It's a valid point that most women are more mature than men at any given age, and it's not surprising that by the time she reaches her mid-thirties, she already feels more compatible with a male ten or twenty years her senior, and has left the guys her own age, far behind both mentally and emotionally. Her more mature partner is more equipped to seduce her mind as well as her body. He will be less afraid of displaying public affection, holding her hand or opening doors for her. He will be happy to allow the whole world see how proud he is to be by her side.
Sexually too, although he may not be an athlete between the sheets, he will feel the need to ensure his girl is pleasured well as a priority over seeking to satisfy his own desires. Her younger lover will no doubt give her "the best seventeen seconds she's ever had", before raiding her fridge in search of a beer. Whereas in the case of her older lover, the foreplay will begin in the restaurant with witty flirting, eye contact and laughter. Later they will enjoy the afterglow together, the passion may have subsided but the emotion still very much alive.
The term 'Sugar Daddy' was first used in the early 1920's and is described in the WordWeb Dictionary as "A wealthy older male who offers a young person expensive gifts in return for friendship or intimacy". The 'sugar' in this early term alluded to the sweetening role of the gifts, and 'daddy' to the age difference between the pair. There is no mention however, of love, romance or indeed a relationship in the dictionary description of the term, yet it is a fact that women are often attracted, even turned on by men of substance or power. Is it so inconceivable then, that a younger woman could find happiness in a relationship with a guy old enough to be her father, who has so much more to offer her than money and gifts?
Trevor Taylor
It's true to say that many younger men, on reaching the age in their lives when pubescence has taken control of their lateral thinking, find themselves fantasizing about older females, often twice their own age and upwards. For example, it's quite common for a young man, still at school age, testosterone flying everywhere, to have the 'hots' for one or more of his female teachers, a neighbor's wife or even a pal's mother.
The consensus of opinion reached by many is that the attraction by a young male to a more mature woman is based on the fact that not only does she have experience.. but a working knowledge of the male anatomy, and a sexual prowess not to be discovered so easily in a younger woman his own age.
Although there are exceptions to the rule, in the majority of cases, his secret lusting remains just that, and goes unnoticed by the older female who still regards him as a young student or friend of her son.
Howerever, as the young male grows older, and gains his own level of experience, so his desire for the maturer female wanes, and on reaching middle age, he will frequently have his head 'turned' by a much younger woman.
All this is in stark contrast to the attraction patterns noted in the life of the female of the species. Whereas the young girl, on first becoming sexually aware, will hone her intimacy skills on the younger male, yet she will often be less interested in him as she gets older, turning her attention to the more mature men that cross her path. But why is this the case?
The Sugar Daddy Phenomenon, whilst oftentimes the source of amusement for some, can in fact develop into quite a powerful relationship, with loyalty, romance and chivalry being key factors in the union. Many women note that a male around her own age or younger, will not show her the same level of respect, or pay as much attention to detail that his older counterpart will be inclined to display.
It's a valid point that most women are more mature than men at any given age, and it's not surprising that by the time she reaches her mid-thirties, she already feels more compatible with a male ten or twenty years her senior, and has left the guys her own age, far behind both mentally and emotionally. Her more mature partner is more equipped to seduce her mind as well as her body. He will be less afraid of displaying public affection, holding her hand or opening doors for her. He will be happy to allow the whole world see how proud he is to be by her side.
Sexually too, although he may not be an athlete between the sheets, he will feel the need to ensure his girl is pleasured well as a priority over seeking to satisfy his own desires. Her younger lover will no doubt give her "the best seventeen seconds she's ever had", before raiding her fridge in search of a beer. Whereas in the case of her older lover, the foreplay will begin in the restaurant with witty flirting, eye contact and laughter. Later they will enjoy the afterglow together, the passion may have subsided but the emotion still very much alive.
The term 'Sugar Daddy' was first used in the early 1920's and is described in the WordWeb Dictionary as "A wealthy older male who offers a young person expensive gifts in return for friendship or intimacy". The 'sugar' in this early term alluded to the sweetening role of the gifts, and 'daddy' to the age difference between the pair. There is no mention however, of love, romance or indeed a relationship in the dictionary description of the term, yet it is a fact that women are often attracted, even turned on by men of substance or power. Is it so inconceivable then, that a younger woman could find happiness in a relationship with a guy old enough to be her father, who has so much more to offer her than money and gifts?
Trevor Taylor
