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The Secret Behind Human S Comfort Zone The Novelty Attraction
Why do we shy away from facing reality? Why do we mask the truth with a lie? Come to think of it, all of us as humans love to live in our own comfort zones. It is an in-born desire. Life, in its basic form hardly offers much comfort, both physical as well as mental. We are compelled to identify it ourselves and if we are unable to do that, we create them. After all, there is no better alternative in life than to feel good.
So what is it that the first few weeks or months in a dating scenario that makes it so rollicking and tempestuous? Mull over this: firstly you find someone, find whether the chemistry is right, and if it is so, pursue it with positive energy. Now there is a lot of art, but hardly any science in pursuing, as even Shakespeare commented: the love of pursuit. This involves interplay of a few of the most basic human emotions and mental processes. This is an area, where Dating Gurus would like to believe that they know whats happening.
But if you are on the look out for a How-To book in the market, there are hardly any, which talks about or addresses the issue of actually finding a date. Most dwell on the management of a relationship, much after the couple has crossed the initial stages of difficult and uncomfortable wooing. Memories of the struggle which both had gone through in the initial stages, make most couples stick together even in later months.
One of the most important factors in the early days of romancing (consider the first 60 days) that carry the couple through is, what I call, the Novelty Syndrome. Much like when we got a new toy in our childhood. The sheer excitement of getting to know someone, open up fresh vistas in your mind and makes you go blind and start believing in a few white lies. You are hardly in a mood to confront the warning signals as they gradually appear, but if you do, you can avoid the numerous pitfalls which may lie ahead.
It is important to remember one important thing about human nature. Nothing new holds its newness after a while. A new car, a new house, a new bike eventually lose out on its new appeal. Even in a relationship, why does it have to wither out? What happened to that spark? It happens mainly, because you knew her almost fully and started to take her for granted. The secret behind any successful relationship that lasts, has a lot to do with investment and re-investment of time, love, care and trust. The saying, you reap what you sow, holds very true in a human relationship.
You will agree with me that the first ten dates, are perhaps the trickiest, despite the initial euphoria of knowing someone new. This section can, to my mind, be analyzed using science, rather than art. If you care to break this period step by step and focus on each step, you are less likely to fall into the better than nothing trap. Obviously you will learn through your numerous mistakes, but I am going to take you through a logical, scientific process, which aims to make you learn faster so that you emerge with your sanity and prestige intact.
If you have seen Sex and the City, has it ever occurred to you, what makes it so successful? Undoubtedly, it is entertaining and perceptive, but the truth of the matter is that it is so REAL. It emphasizes, more than anything else, how unstable and shaky the entire contemporary dating scene is! And, to top it, hardly understood! Thus, it is time to remove all that shining veneer and bring you face to face with REALITY.
This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name and website © Copyright.
BONUS : The Seductive Power Of Mans Flirting Tools What Are They?
Presuming you have an opportunity to flirt. How do you want to go about it? One of the easiest approaches is to pretend you are a palm reader! This gives you a smooth access to touch her hand and coo into her ears some romantic nothings.
What does the future hold for me? Women love to hear this, from as many people as possible. Though claiming gallantly that they dont believe in this sort of archaic stuff but a tarot reader, an astrologist or a handwriting expert, they will be the first ones to cue in front of them. So why not pretend to be one of those experts, and tell them things they love to hear. Right from you are too sentimental, to no body has understood you properly so far, lines like these sell.
Try to carry with you or wear on you something, that intrigues them, makes them curious or arouses the mother instinct them. For instance, babies. Most women love them but make sure she does not go home thinking the baby is yours! Some women ask point blank, whose is it, if they are keen to know you further. Or else, wear an interesting hat, or some other props which invite a question. I remember meeting a man in a bar, who kept on licking his nose tip with his tongue. He didnt go home alone that night!
To stand out and draw her attention, you have to do something which is slightly rare and she does not come across often. Like magic. It is an amazing tool to start the flirting game. Learn a few card tricks and show off. First it displays your level of confidence, secondly it makes you somewhat exotic.
The next best thing that appeals to a majority of women is music. And musicians. Sing your way through to her heart, or play the mandolin or guitar and strum away. You not only romanticize your date but what a wonderful way to flirt, using someone elses lyrics, another ones music! You can sometimes tell her what you feel like telling her, through a song. Other talents include juggling, origami, painting etc. But the crux of the matter is having a skill and use it as a flirting tool.
Rule number one: Dont try this with a woman who could be working for a Market Research Agency. Rule number two: Dont try this if you do not have a generous gift of the gab. But if you are truly bold (not necessarily beautiful) try this trick. Think up a sham survey on dating. Target a few women, walk up to them and ask their views on dating. Normally nobody refuses a survey, because at that instant, they feel important and their views worthy. Immediately afterwards, ask for their phone number and e mail address with the excuse of a possible follow-up. Rest is your way of working through the whole project. But be very careful; if you stammer, falter or even buckle under pressure, you could earn a bad reputation (or a black eye!).
There are innumerable innovative ways of getting to know women. The whole issue here is to find your comfort area and operate from there. Then shift out and work more. And last but not the least, think up more creative ways of your own, taking a cue from the market survey as above.
This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name and website © Copyright.
Presuming you have an opportunity to flirt. How do you want to go about it? One of the easiest approaches is to pretend you are a palm reader! This gives you a smooth access to touch her hand and coo into her ears some romantic nothings.
What does the future hold for me? Women love to hear this, from as many people as possible. Though claiming gallantly that they dont believe in this sort of archaic stuff but a tarot reader, an astrologist or a handwriting expert, they will be the first ones to cue in front of them. So why not pretend to be one of those experts, and tell them things they love to hear. Right from you are too sentimental, to no body has understood you properly so far, lines like these sell.
Try to carry with you or wear on you something, that intrigues them, makes them curious or arouses the mother instinct them. For instance, babies. Most women love them but make sure she does not go home thinking the baby is yours! Some women ask point blank, whose is it, if they are keen to know you further. Or else, wear an interesting hat, or some other props which invite a question. I remember meeting a man in a bar, who kept on licking his nose tip with his tongue. He didnt go home alone that night!
To stand out and draw her attention, you have to do something which is slightly rare and she does not come across often. Like magic. It is an amazing tool to start the flirting game. Learn a few card tricks and show off. First it displays your level of confidence, secondly it makes you somewhat exotic.
The next best thing that appeals to a majority of women is music. And musicians. Sing your way through to her heart, or play the mandolin or guitar and strum away. You not only romanticize your date but what a wonderful way to flirt, using someone elses lyrics, another ones music! You can sometimes tell her what you feel like telling her, through a song. Other talents include juggling, origami, painting etc. But the crux of the matter is having a skill and use it as a flirting tool.
Rule number one: Dont try this with a woman who could be working for a Market Research Agency. Rule number two: Dont try this if you do not have a generous gift of the gab. But if you are truly bold (not necessarily beautiful) try this trick. Think up a sham survey on dating. Target a few women, walk up to them and ask their views on dating. Normally nobody refuses a survey, because at that instant, they feel important and their views worthy. Immediately afterwards, ask for their phone number and e mail address with the excuse of a possible follow-up. Rest is your way of working through the whole project. But be very careful; if you stammer, falter or even buckle under pressure, you could earn a bad reputation (or a black eye!).
There are innumerable innovative ways of getting to know women. The whole issue here is to find your comfort area and operate from there. Then shift out and work more. And last but not the least, think up more creative ways of your own, taking a cue from the market survey as above.
This article may be re-published with appropriate attribution to the author including name and website © Copyright.
