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Shoo Away Your Shyness
Shyness is a very important issue, that
nervousness that overcomes in certain social
situations. It can be definite like having
difficulty in creating a friendship or even
starting a conversation with the one we meet.
Shyness can start in someone's personality from
early childhood. A shy people may be viewed as
overly serious, even humorless because for him it
can be difficult to do something as a smile, or
even say ' hello' to somebody. He does not know
how to start a conversation or how to handle in
certain situations, so they tend to hide.
Shy people date less; they are more focused on
themselves than others when in conversation. They
have irrational beliefs about what other people
think about them. They are considered less
friendly, not interested, and even boring.
Therefore, loneliness can come from shyness.
The problem with shyness is that we built
negative beliefs about ourselves based on lack of
skills. Shyness has several components that
interact and affect the mind, body and behavior
of a shy person.
If you are a shy person, you are probably
somewhere between uncomfortable and paralyzed at
the thought of meeting new people to the point
where it interferes with your goal of dating and
ultimately having an intimate relationship.
People who fear meeting another people, asking
for dates, or divulging personal information are
at a significant disadvantage in the dating game.
Many women are looking for shy men, but since you
are too timid, you may get alone. Therefore, if
you are a shy person you have to overcome your
shyness if you want to attract the one you like.
First, recognize that you have a problem, and
talk with someone about this. Constructive
counseling can help. Have self-confidence; do not
be afraid to start to talk with everyone you meet,
you will see that you have so many things to
Get out and socialize, join activities in which
you are always interacting with people, like
disco, clubs, parties, gym or even colleges.
Your shyness is triggered by the inability to
approach someone that you consider attractive.
This occur when you think about your flaws, you
have the fear of rejection. You approach her by
engaging her in conversation.
Start with a smile, show her that you are
friendly and approachable, and start a small talk.
If she make you feel intimidate, and even if you
make a small mistake do not lose yourself. Do not
worry; she will forgive you faster than you think.
Do not take things personally if she make any
joke, comment or insinuation at your address, she
does not make it to upset you. Laugh with her and
show her that you are a good listener and you
like spending time with her.
After you will get over your shyness, you will
see that your life will change totally.
BONUS : Should I Ask Her Out?
Okay, so you like this girl. You like her so much you want to ask her out. The only problem is, she has a boyfriend. So you do not. Then, fate happens and a miracle occurs. She broke up with her boyfriend. Now, your friends are egging you to go and ask her out. It would not hurt, they say. But you think otherwise. Of course it would. So you sulk and wait and decide that you will not ask her out. Or would you?
It is so confusing to have to decide which is which. Should the right decision be to go ahead and ask or just wait it out?
In the words of a popular shoe brand, it really would not hurt at all if you simply just do it. Okay, so it would hurt. A little. But, who ever got lethally hurt from a broken heart? So what if you will be rejected? It may hurt yes, but the experience will definitely make you stronger.
But how would you know if you will be rejected, unless you ask? What if she says yes. Would not that be a surprise? And you would not have known this if you havent asked at all. So should you? Of course you should.
Let us face it. It is not easy to be able to handle rejection. Most men who have become successful are usually those who do not take personally any rejection that comes to them. This life principle is actually very simple. Sometimes, it is ones need for drama that decision-making becomes a little bit complex.
If the girl you asked out says no. Accept it and move on. There are a lot of fish in the sea, as the saying goes. This is a whole lot better than not knowing at all.
Society has put a lot of emphasis on the ego. The ego is something that, when paid too much attention to, could be a bit distracting and self-defeating. Rejection only matters if you think it matters.
Asking someone out could be extremely nerve racking. It is definitely not easy. But asking someone out only becomes extremely scary if you only have the sights set on yourself and if you are so afraid to fail.
Failure is not easy. Rejection is not easy. But the most glorious part in this process is your uncanny ability to be able to move on despite the rejection.
Relax. Usually, the reason you get nervous is that you may have very little options or that you are so in love with this woman that no one else is just as worthy to be with you than her. So any chances of you being rejected will definitely spell a little bit as being close to end of the world. Again, it could not be emphasized more clearly, relax.
The solution for this problem is simple, go out and gather more options. One telephone number puts too much pressure on you to get a girls yes. Go ask another girl, that you like mind you, and not just someone who is handing out her number for everyone to see.
So if the first number does not go well, move on and settle to dial that other number. Do not sweat the small stuff. Time is more precious than wasting it on regret and all the couldas, woudas and shoudas.
There is another solution to not let a potential rejection take the best out of you. Why dont you go and ask someone out with the expectation of being rejected. By this method, it saves you from being attached to the result. By this way, you are actually letting go of any potential outcome. You become therefore more free, open and accepting of whatever life brings you. Eventually, you are putting less pressure upon yourself to be accepted, and you are playing by lifes ear and is leading a very stress-free life.
All in all, to be really honest, asking someone out on a date is not a bed of roses. It is putting yourself down the line. You are literally offering yourself up to the relationship gods for slaughter. But wait. You are also opening yourself to a lot of new experiences that could make you a better person.