Online Dating How To Overcome The Stress And Nerves With The First Date

Online Dating: How To Overcome The Stress And Nerves With The First Date

As an individual raised with little opportunity to develop social skills, I had a particularly difficult time with the dating scene. I am happily married now, but during my years of dating, I felt that it would never happen. With the many years using online dating services, I have learned many useful ways of establishing positive initial interaction. In this article I will share with you ideas that will give you a little more ease with dating and coping with the anxiety on the first date.

First, there are a few questions we must address and bring out into the open. How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? What discussion or prefacing is required with your potential date prior to the meeting? How does this potential date feel about you, or does this person also share in this anxiety? After the rendezvous is established where will you meet to insure safety, enjoyment and relaxation?

Lets dive into the first question: How much should we get to know the potential date before meeting? This question begs of the actual legitimacy of the potential date. Is this, person really genuine? What is this persons background? These questions are not as easy to answer, but we can start with the following. The method of communication is incredibly important. Phone communication although a little nerve racking, can break the ice and establish an initial understanding of who this person is. Try to avoid creating a mental image of this person as this can really increase expectations and also give the other person an unfair disadvantage (i.e. relating the voice to a physical mental image). The phone conversation can also shed light on this person's general character.

This leads to what discussions or prefacing is required. It is important to acknowledge that this place we live is very diverse and the person's character is one of the most important attributes of desirability. Be softly direct when inquiring about his or her background without invoking the feeling that you are drilling the person which is a real "turn-off". I have used this idea many times which turn's out to be a really enjoyable exercise. Write down a few background questions to ask prior to calling the potential date and go from there. The conversation can take on with its own energy from there and it will be very easy to get a good feeling for the person. That is to say, if the person is not forthright, it will most likely come through in the conversation.

In most cases, the other person will exhibit the same anxiety as you. Keep this in mind, as it will help your nerves a little. Being confident, honest, direct and respectful will help you and the date feel an increased level of comfort whether your on the phone, or on the first date.

On this first date, make sure that you select, or mutually agree to a place that will help the date flourishes but keep the other person wanting more. Obviously, you should select a meeting place that is well lit and where there will be many eyes watching you for increased safety. However, the place that you will spend the most time should be softly lit so that most of the concentration can be focused on the content of the conversation and less on physical characteristics. More importantly, span the first date no more than that of a small snack. You can consider this a "weed-out" session. If there is chemistry during the date, he or she will leave waiting more. Conversely, if there is no chemistry, not much time was lost and not much money was spent.

Remember, these important ideas to engender ease and confidence during the initial contact through online dating services. Choose a method of communication prior to the meeting that will help you determine the persons forthrightness. Understand that the other person is probably feeling the same level of anxiety to which you can offer the comfort. Finally, choose a place that demonstrates safety and allows for a short but memorable experience.

BONUS : Online Dating- How To Protect Your Privacy On The Internet

Online Dating- How to Protect your privacy on the Internet
Online dating is becoming more and more mainstream, as people from all walks of life plug in and find their soul mate in cyberspace. Here are six tips to finding that special someone while still maintaining your privacy and safety online.
1. Avoid large, public chat rooms where anything can (and does!) take place. Some people frequent these areas just to see what they can get away with. Instead, focus on smaller, more targeted web sites or chat rooms that match your interests or lifestyle. There are many online dating sites that cater to specific hobbies and several offer free trial memberships.

2. When you find a chat room, dating site, or forum that matches your interest, introduce yourself with only as much information as you feel comfortable giving. Don't plaster your phone number, address or any other personal information on the site. Wait until you meet someone with whom you truly "click" and have spoken to them for awhile. Common sense and that "gut feeling" are great indicators for when something just doesn't seem quite right.

3. Participate in the forum or chat room regularly. Keep it "low-key" until you start forming friendships with the regular members there. Be honest, and be yourself - after all, being natural is what will endear you to a particular mate.

4. Keep your correspondence limited to e-mail and chat until you get to know the person well enough to feel comfortable sharing your phone number and talking for the first time. If you need a good ice-breaker, start off the chat by talking about the forum or chat room where you met and any special interests that brought you two together.

5. If you decide to meet each other in person, choose a neutral, public place. You may even choose a town or city that's not the same as the one where you live. Restaurants, parks, theaters and other public places where people gather often are a good place to start. Alternately, you could choose to attend a special event in your area together, perhaps a concert, festival or fair. Either way, let friends or family know where you're going and who you're going with, as well as what time you'll be returning so they'll know how and where to reach you.

6. If you're interested in a few online "matches" that come your way, consider setting up a post office box and a free e-mail account to share information with each other. That way, if you come to find that you really don't "click" with this person, you won't feel as if you've given any personal contact information away.

If you follow these six tips, chances are you'll have a great time with your cyber date and have a successful experience with online dating. Remember to be honest and be yourself! If you do, chances are that you'll find that perfect special someone who enjoys you for who you are!

More information on Online Dating