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Online Dating 12 Steps To Get Noticed And Get A Date Online
If you want to achieve success with online dating, you will need to educate yourself with the online dating scene. Online dating sites provide a service for people to meet but a dating site can only do so much of the work and input is required from you if you are serious about meeting a partner online.
Whilst thousands of people are joining dating sites every day, hundreds are not making the most of the services a dating site has to offer. Im no psychic but Im pretty certain that someone who writes a dull or uninformative profile, doesnt include a photo and makes no effort to contact anyone will not be inundated with invitations for a date.
By making a few simple changes to the way you are dating online, you could see instant results meeting people you would never have met before so dont be a wallflower, stand out online and be proactive in your search for a date.
1. Sell Yourself
Your profile is like an advertisement and you need to sell yourself in the dating game.
The eye-catching part of you profile is your photo. Include a photo of yourself (not someone else or a cartoon!) and you could increase your responses by as much as 8 times.
Answer all questions honestly, be positive, focus on your good points and provide members with just enough information about yourself so that they are eager to find out more. Please dont talk about exes or how miserable your life is . it wont attract people to you!
2. Search outside of the box
We may all have an idea of our ideal partner but just because someone is slightly younger, older or from a different town doesnt mean they wont turn out to be your ideal partner! Most dating sites provide a search facility to vary your search settings so if your search results dont reveal anyone who catches your eye try widening your search settings.
3. Get intimate anonymously
The beauty of online dating is that you can get to know someone without revealing any personal details. Emails are sent using an anonymous messaging facility so take advantage of this and spend as long as you wish getting to know someone. Dont feel pressured into meeting up with someone you have just met online. If they are serious, they will be happy to wait if this is your preference.
4. Make the first move
Dont be shy you make the first move. Remember everyone online is serious about meeting someone so, if you see someone you like, contact him or her first. Dont wait for someone to contact you.
5. Make conversation
Show your interest - The best way to get someones attention and get a response is to ask a question specific to his or her profile. This shows you have read their profile and are interested in them.
Flatter them! - Dont be afraid to use your charm! Whether you like their photo or you are impressed by the fact that they have run the marathon tell them. Everyone likes receiving compliments.
Make them laugh! - I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, youre on the path to a good relationship. Be witty and amusing in your messages and they will look forward to hearing from you.
Be flirtatious, not rude! Don't be afraid to flirt a little if that's how you feel but equally don't be too flirtatious as it could be taken the wrong way. Never talk about sex or imply this is what you are looking for.
6. Keep a little mystique!
Whilst I would encourage you to talk openly and honestly about yourself so that people get to know you try not to tell your whole life story in one e-mail. Hold a little something back for the next message.
7. Arrange a chat room date
Chat rooms are another great way to chat instantly with someone without revealing any personal information. A quality chat room will also provide the facility to have a private one-to-one chat with someone so if youve messaged someone, why not invite them to meet you in the chat room at a specific time and day just like a real date. You can then decide whether you want to take it further offline.
8. Chat on the phone
If youre thinking of arranging a date with someone, chat to him or her on the telephone first but use the blocking feature to prevent your number appearing on Caller ID. Go over topics that youve mentioned in emails to verify that what he or she has told you is the truth. Ask yourself if the voice you are talking to is someone you feel comfortable with and someone you could trust.
9. Dont be disheartened
If youve sent a message but havent received a reply, dont be disheartened. There could be many reasons why someone hasnt replied to a message youve sent; the recipient may not have logged on for a while, their membership may have lapsed or they may not be a full member entitling them to reply back to you.
If youve sent one message then follow it up with a second message to show him or her that you are genuinely interested. If you still dont get a response, move on to the next person!
10. Give people a chance
If you receive a message from someone who does not immediately tick all of your boxes, dont rule them out straight away. Reply back to him or her and try and find out a bit more about them. You may have more in common than you first thought and, if not, at least you can say you tried.
11. Be polite when rejecting
If you dont like someone who has contacted you, do not be rude or offensive. You can either ignore them (hopefully this will get the message across) or politely tell them you are not interested. A reputable dating site will provide a facility to block nuisances sending you messages so, if someone is pestering you, dont be afraid to use this tool.
12. Be safe!
Do not give anyone your home telephone number, address or workplace address until you have met a number of times and are 100% comfortable with that person. Remember that people can be whoever they want to be online - wait until your instincts tell you this is someone you can trust.
If you find you dont get many responses, you may need to think about alternative conversation starters or rewrite your profile.
Hopefully youve got the idea now so its over to you! Good luck and remember to have fun!
BONUS : Online Dating: 13 Tips To Write A Winning Online Profile And Attract A Date
How long do you spend getting ready for a night out? At a guess I would say that if youre a woman you can probably spend 1 hour upwards preening and titivating and if youre a man you can be showered, shaved and out of the door within 20 minutes (unless, of course, youre a metro-sexual in which case you probably take longer than a woman!).
Now let me ask you how long you would spend (or have spent) writing a profile for an online dating site? Less than 5 minutes, possibly 10 minutes maximum?
When you consider that you literally have minutes to impress someone and stand out from the rest in the online dating scene, dont you agree that more time and effort should be put into writing an online profile?
If you are an online dater, Im sure you will agree with me that when you are searching for a partner online you will first of all look at the profiles with photos and, secondly, you will look at the profiles where people have taken the time to write something about themselves. So if you have no photo and/or an incomplete and uninformative profile, dont be surprised if you inbox isnt full to the brim with messages!
Im going to share a few tips with you to get you started writing an eye-catching profile. Once youve read them take some time to think about what you are going to write and jot down some quick notes before hitting the keyboard.
1. Grab a friend
If you dont like writing about yourself or think you are going to get writers block its a good idea to enlist the help of a friend; the kind of friend who is always saying to you I cant understand why youre still single, youre such a catch. Ask your friend what your star qualities are and he or she will come up with a million and one positive things about you which you would have never thought of or dared to say about yourself.
2. Strike a pose
The most effective way to get noticed online, is to include a photo. Choose a clear photo that shows in your best light and preferably smiling - it makes much better viewing!
3. Choose a fun username
This is the name which you will be known as by members on the dating site. I would advise you to use a name other than your real name to remain anonymous. Try and choose a name that is fun and reflects your personality, i.e. Sporty Sam or Disco Queen. Do not use a name which is sexually provocative or offensive.
4. Captivate your audience
Make your profile really stand out so that any person reading it will think Wow, I have to get to know this person!
Online dating sites have made it easy for you when completing your profile by providing drop down menus for basic questions such as your appearance, lifestyle, hobbies but you will also be given additional space to write something yourself. Use this space wisely to provide a more detailed description about your personality, your interests and what you are looking for. The key is to be confident and talk positively about yourself without coming across bigheaded.
5. Dont leave an empty space
If you feel you have covered everything by answering the profile questions please do not leave the additional space blank or write ask me, tell you later or I dont know what to say. Members will see your profile and think youre either not serious about dating or that if you cant be bothered to put some effort into writing a profile you will have the same approach in a relationship effortless! Instead extend on the information already provided, for example, if you have stated you like travelling talk about some of the places you have visited.
6. Ask questions
If there is a particular place you visited and fell in love with, ask anyone who has been there to get in touch with you so you can reminisce together. Asking a question in your profile makes it easy for other members to respond to.
7. Be Honest
Dont lie about interests; you will get found out! For example, dont say you love long walks in the countryside if you really like to dance the night away in nightclubs every weekend. Youll attract the wrong person and waste both of your time.
As with any other kind of dating, it is always best to be honest from the start so answer all questions honestly and finding your perfect match will be much easier!
8. Show your funny side
I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, youre on the path to a good relationship. Show people that you have a sense of humour, e.g. talk about a scene from one of your all time favourite comedies and you may strike a chord with someone else who found the same thing just as funny as you.
9. Dream a little
Write about your dreams and ambitions. If your dream is to travel the world but you havent quite got round to it there may be someone out there who would like to share this experience with you. If youve been lucky enough to fulfil your dreams, share your story with other members.
10. Dont mention the ex!
Ok, so you may have just come out of a relationship and be feeling sad and lonely but dont write about it. It will put a lot of people off and you may come across desperate, which is not an attractive trait. Make online dating a new start for you and promise yourself not to dwell on past relationships.
11. Your expectations
What are your expectations from joining an online dating site? Tell people the kind of relationship you are hoping to find but dont say you are looking for marriage if you are really looking for a casual fling and vice versa. Again, you will waste both of your time.
12. Write a chapter, not a book
By this I mean, dont tell your whole life story in your profile. I encourage you to provide as much information as possible about yourself but use short bursts of information, sectioned by paragraphs, rather than writing a long essay so whoever is reading it is intrigued to find out more about you.
13. Be safe
Finally, do not include any personal information in your profile, e.g. your e-mail address, home address, work address or telephone number. A reputable dating site will remove any personal information before it appears live on site; this is to ensure that they provide you with a safe online dating environment.
Once youve completed your profile, read through it or ask a trusted friend to read through it and ask, would you reply to this person? If yes, its all systems go. If no, look at the areas where it can be improved until youve created that winning profile. It may take longer than 5 or 10 minutes but the results that will show in your inbox will be worth it!
How long do you spend getting ready for a night out? At a guess I would say that if youre a woman you can probably spend 1 hour upwards preening and titivating and if youre a man you can be showered, shaved and out of the door within 20 minutes (unless, of course, youre a metro-sexual in which case you probably take longer than a woman!).
Now let me ask you how long you would spend (or have spent) writing a profile for an online dating site? Less than 5 minutes, possibly 10 minutes maximum?
When you consider that you literally have minutes to impress someone and stand out from the rest in the online dating scene, dont you agree that more time and effort should be put into writing an online profile?
If you are an online dater, Im sure you will agree with me that when you are searching for a partner online you will first of all look at the profiles with photos and, secondly, you will look at the profiles where people have taken the time to write something about themselves. So if you have no photo and/or an incomplete and uninformative profile, dont be surprised if you inbox isnt full to the brim with messages!
Im going to share a few tips with you to get you started writing an eye-catching profile. Once youve read them take some time to think about what you are going to write and jot down some quick notes before hitting the keyboard.
1. Grab a friend
If you dont like writing about yourself or think you are going to get writers block its a good idea to enlist the help of a friend; the kind of friend who is always saying to you I cant understand why youre still single, youre such a catch. Ask your friend what your star qualities are and he or she will come up with a million and one positive things about you which you would have never thought of or dared to say about yourself.
2. Strike a pose
The most effective way to get noticed online, is to include a photo. Choose a clear photo that shows in your best light and preferably smiling - it makes much better viewing!
3. Choose a fun username
This is the name which you will be known as by members on the dating site. I would advise you to use a name other than your real name to remain anonymous. Try and choose a name that is fun and reflects your personality, i.e. Sporty Sam or Disco Queen. Do not use a name which is sexually provocative or offensive.
4. Captivate your audience
Make your profile really stand out so that any person reading it will think Wow, I have to get to know this person!
Online dating sites have made it easy for you when completing your profile by providing drop down menus for basic questions such as your appearance, lifestyle, hobbies but you will also be given additional space to write something yourself. Use this space wisely to provide a more detailed description about your personality, your interests and what you are looking for. The key is to be confident and talk positively about yourself without coming across bigheaded.
5. Dont leave an empty space
If you feel you have covered everything by answering the profile questions please do not leave the additional space blank or write ask me, tell you later or I dont know what to say. Members will see your profile and think youre either not serious about dating or that if you cant be bothered to put some effort into writing a profile you will have the same approach in a relationship effortless! Instead extend on the information already provided, for example, if you have stated you like travelling talk about some of the places you have visited.
6. Ask questions
If there is a particular place you visited and fell in love with, ask anyone who has been there to get in touch with you so you can reminisce together. Asking a question in your profile makes it easy for other members to respond to.
7. Be Honest
Dont lie about interests; you will get found out! For example, dont say you love long walks in the countryside if you really like to dance the night away in nightclubs every weekend. Youll attract the wrong person and waste both of your time.
As with any other kind of dating, it is always best to be honest from the start so answer all questions honestly and finding your perfect match will be much easier!
8. Show your funny side
I think if you can make someone laugh or someone makes you laugh, youre on the path to a good relationship. Show people that you have a sense of humour, e.g. talk about a scene from one of your all time favourite comedies and you may strike a chord with someone else who found the same thing just as funny as you.
9. Dream a little
Write about your dreams and ambitions. If your dream is to travel the world but you havent quite got round to it there may be someone out there who would like to share this experience with you. If youve been lucky enough to fulfil your dreams, share your story with other members.
10. Dont mention the ex!
Ok, so you may have just come out of a relationship and be feeling sad and lonely but dont write about it. It will put a lot of people off and you may come across desperate, which is not an attractive trait. Make online dating a new start for you and promise yourself not to dwell on past relationships.
11. Your expectations
What are your expectations from joining an online dating site? Tell people the kind of relationship you are hoping to find but dont say you are looking for marriage if you are really looking for a casual fling and vice versa. Again, you will waste both of your time.
12. Write a chapter, not a book
By this I mean, dont tell your whole life story in your profile. I encourage you to provide as much information as possible about yourself but use short bursts of information, sectioned by paragraphs, rather than writing a long essay so whoever is reading it is intrigued to find out more about you.
13. Be safe
Finally, do not include any personal information in your profile, e.g. your e-mail address, home address, work address or telephone number. A reputable dating site will remove any personal information before it appears live on site; this is to ensure that they provide you with a safe online dating environment.
Once youve completed your profile, read through it or ask a trusted friend to read through it and ask, would you reply to this person? If yes, its all systems go. If no, look at the areas where it can be improved until youve created that winning profile. It may take longer than 5 or 10 minutes but the results that will show in your inbox will be worth it!
