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Dating Tips Use Your Friends
Having friends is a valuable gift that must be cherished on a daily basis. Im not talking only about your best friends, the ones you call when youre in trouble, or when you need to share your deepest thoughts and fears, Im talking also about your buddies, your colleagues, your acquaintances, and all these people you might enjoy hanging out with once in a while.
How does this relate to dating?
Well, once you are out in the singles market, these people become an important asset, you should start looking at them not only as your friends but also as your free dating services. Not only that one of them may be single and suitable for your exact desires, but also each and every one of them have their own circle of friends in which there are certainly other singles who are looking for someone like you to have a relationship with.
There are two ways of accomplishing this the first way is the direct way, which means literally asking your friends to be the matchmakers and set you up on a date with one of their friends.
The second option is starting to hang out with these friends and hopefully through their group hangouts (birthdays, holiday parties, etc.) you will get familiarized with their goods.
The main disadvantage of the group hangouts method is that it might seem abit odd if youll start tagging along to every party with one of your colleagues to whom you never said nothing but hello. Also it will take longer for you to get to know all of the new friends and find out who is single and suitable for you. These problems may be easily solved if you directly approach your friend and simply ask him \ her if they can set you up on a date with someone.
The main disadvantages of the direct way are of course making your friend feeling very uncomfortable, not having anyone to set you up with, or maybe not wanting to
The second disadvantage is that it wouldnt work.
Instead of having to avoid your friend for the rest of your life, make sure you dont say or do anything inappropriate during the date that may insult your date or your friend, and remember that the person you went out with is not your friend and that its not his \ her fault it didnt work out. On the contrary feel grateful that friend was thoughtful enough to set you up with somebody and caring for you private life and happiness.
The main advantage of dating a friends friend is the flow of information. You no longer have to torment yourself after the date, pondering whether he \ she liked you, when to call and what to do next. One phone call and youll have a familiar voice answering all the questions you have. You have to remember, of course, that it goes in both directions, and that every impression you had is immediately passed to the other side. This convenience may be excellent in the early stages, when communication is doomed to be lacking and problematic. But if the relationship succeeds and you go on dating, you have to cease the informing duty of your mutual friend, and concentrate in creating your own and healthy means of communication.
Summing up dating through friends is the safest way when it comes to the person you date with, but its the most risky way when it comes to your personal loss. The idea is to understand that when you are dating someone, the dynamics will always be different from the one you have with your friends, and you shouldnt blame you friend for trying. On the other hand, if it succeeds, not only youll have the joy of having a wonderful relationship, but also Im sure you will make your friend very proud of his \ her matchmaking skills!
BONUS : Dating Tips: Using Storytelling To Attract Women
Today I want to talk to you about a subject that I feel is very important and powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.
This subject is none other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered more in depth in Part II) I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.
Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.
Even if the women does not believe the story, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.
I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with prescripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)
There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.
People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.
If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still cant think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
Till then keep an eye out for the next letter and great ready to really take storytelling to the next level.
Today I want to talk to you about a subject that I feel is very important and powerful when it comes to meeting and holding the interest of not only women but anyone in your life.
This subject is none other than Storytelling and when used correctly, can make your desirability with women sky rocket.
Before I jump into the tips and secrets behind successful story telling and how to construct a powerful story (which will be covered more in depth in Part II) I want to clear up a few myths when it comes to the matter of story telling.
Myth one: My stories have to be true and about me.
Now this is ultimately up for you to decide but as long as you keep the conversation fun, apply the right story telling techniques, and can keep the conversation moving, then your story does not have to be true.
Even if the women does not believe the story, if you kept it fun, she will be entertained and most likely run with new conversation topics developed from your stories.
I am not encouraging you to lie though, the most powerful stories are ones that are true and come from a place of emotion.
You can be so over the top with stories where the unbelievably becomes so fun that she gets involved and becomes part of a newly painted reality that you and the girl get to share and more importantly create together. (This becomes a key factor in "Role Playing" and by mastering storytelling, your creativity in "Role Play Conversations" raises but sadly, the subject of role playing will have to be saved for a later issue.)
However I think the biggest misconception is not whether the stories have to be true, but is more about whether or not they have to be about the story teller.
One of the main goals of story telling is to communicate to the listener about you. Surprisingly, it is easier to convey things about yourself by HOW you tell a story, not the actual content of it.
Through the power of expressions, energy, and vivid language, you can convey to your listeners such things as, dominance, humor, interests, and over all personality.
When applying the proper techniques of a story, you should be able to repeat what you heard on the news but in such a fashion that directly makes you more interesting and displays your personality.
Myth Two: As you get better with women you become less dependent on story telling.
Now there is some truth to this myth in the sense that you do not go into interactions with prescripted stories as much as you may starting out. However, it is through the skills that storytelling develops that make you less dependent.
Instead of going into in interaction with a story you have made up or written down and rehearsed, you are able to share any subject in an interesting fashion that makes people listen.
This skill is enhanced by applying the arts of storytelling and is one of the key reasons learning and mastering storytelling is a great way to improve not only your skills with women, but your overall social skills.
What is storytelling and why is it important?
Storytelling is the direct means of communication when highlighting important parts of your life to the listener. Not only through context, but through delivery.
Storytelling plays a very important part in getting to know someone and the great thing about telling a story, is that it creates so many other subject matters to talk about and that a story is almost always followed by another story.
If you are familiar with "The Canterbury Tales" by Geoffrey Chaucer, you will see how each story is molded by the one told before it and by who told the story. (Don't worry; your stories don't have to have a rhyme scheme during the interaction like many of Chaucer's do)
There are many reasons storytelling is important and if you are not currently utilizing storytelling then consider these following facts:
*Storytelling is a great way to save dying conversations
This is one of the most common problems that I see with many guys. An interaction will be going great, then conversation starts to die and there is that awkward silence. This is a great time to bust out a story from your arsenal and revive the interaction.
Knowing you are armed with a story creates more approach confidence when entering an interaction.
People are afraid to enter interactions because of the fear of running out of things to say. By developing a great story or two and keeping them in your back pocket for when you need them creates a great since of confidence during the initial approach and can really help limit the anxiety that one gets when approaching a beautiful women. You are guaranteed that the interaction will last at least the length of your story.
*Storytelling is a great way to display dominance
When you are telling a story the right way, all eyes are on you, you are the center of attention, and everyone lingers off your next word. Holding the attention of the group through storytelling puts you in a dominant frame of you being the leader of the interaction and everyone else being the listener, waiting to see where you take the group next.
What you convey through your stories is how you will be remembered.
Unlike most things you say during an interaction, a good story is unforgettable. How many times have you had someone tell you about some crazy story that one of their friends told them? Stories have been passed down for ages; it is an old custom and still exists till this day. The girl should be able to look back on the interaction and be like "Oh yeah, that was the guy who (did whatever interesting activity that relates to you)."
*Storytelling develops stronger social skills
This is one of the biggest reasons that I like to make sure everyone masters storytelling. Through storytelling you learn to capture the entire attention of the group. Also you directly convey your personality and it gets you accustomed to doing so. The skills that are developed from strong storytelling directly carry over into your social personality that make all conversation with you more exciting and vivid. The expressiveness you show in stories ties into your future interactions and directly improves your social personality.
*You can convey things through storytelling that you normally could not say.
There may be some interesting details of your life that said outside the context of a story may come off as bragging. But in a story, these little details are never the subject of the story thus they remain subtle but are powerful when displaying aspects of your identity.
Now that you have an idea of why storytelling is so effective and what you should be aiming for when telling a story we are going to work on creating your very own powerful stories that cannot be ignored. All this will be covered in Part II of this newsletter, but there is an exercise I want you to do right now so you can directly apply all the tips and tactics to create an amazing story.
Exercise 1: Write down anywhere from seven to ten moments in your life that you feel changed or defined who you are.
If you have a funny story then that is just a humorous time then you can feel free to include that. But even if the story does not seem major, just entertaining, the fact that you can remember it means it has a bigger effect than you realize.
This can be happy, fun, or even sad (not depressing) but we do learn through negative experiences. We will eventually cut these down to just a couple stories in Part II but for now I just want you to get into the habit of taking note of interesting experiences in your life.
Ideas: Vacations, Life/Death Experiences, an unforgettable concert or sporting event, a moment you succeeded, something funny that happened to you or a friend.
Now I know that there are going to be people that say they have no interesting stories. This is just not the truth; everyone has something interesting that has shaped who they are. Do not be modest; even if it's a silly story write it down. You can't be afraid to share a story, sometimes they are hard to think of and if you really can't think of a past story, starting paying more attention to your every day life. And if you still cant think of one then go take a vacation, you will return with hundreds of them.
So many things happen in one day that people don't even think would be a story. But every past event being told is a story. There is no excuse not to have one.
Exercise Two: Write down at least 5 things that you would like people to know about you.
This is going to tie into personality conveying. Think of the things that you would like any friend or new acquaintance to know about you. These are the things that directly relate to your identity and make you who you are. Do not be surprised if these things are directly related in some way to the stories you wrote down in exercise one.
Ideas: Hobbies, Sports you play, instruments you play, your job, your goals, your skills and achievements.
Now save this list, we are going to use it a lot in Part II of this newsletter to create some super powerful stories that you can always rely on. Also I will further go into the skills of storytelling and how to use them to make every story and conversation more interesting.
I am going to do this very exercise along with you guys so you will get to see my story end product as well.
Till then keep an eye out for the next letter and great ready to really take storytelling to the next level.
