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Dating A Co Worker Good Or Bad
In our days more and more people decide to start a relationship with a co-worker. The reason why this happens is that many young professional men and women are spending almost all their time at the office, so they have less time to go out and meet new people. So, it is natural to seek friendship and companionship from colleagues.
But for many times, this friendship transform into a relationship that in most of the cases fail. There are many risks that make this very difficult to maintain. But not many people know about this before they start a relationship. So, if you are a very busy man too and spend all your time in an office, and decided to date with a co-worker, you should take a closer look at all the potential benefits and disasters that could be associated with this new career move.
There are some aspects that you should take in consideration:
-Before you ask your co-worker for a possible date, check if your company has an employee dating policy; the company may have strict rules about any relationship that forum between you two; also think about how much you are wiling to risk your career for this relationship from the beginning
-If you didn't ask her for a date already, and don't know how to do it, you may organize a group outing or event and invite her; but if she refuse, you have to think at something else; suggest something casual like dinner or movie
-Before ask her for a date, make sure that you know as much as you can about her; so develop an office relationship before you develop a romantic one
-You must think about what happens if your relationship doesn't work; will you be able to handle the situation to see your co-worker every day, to interact her daily? It may be very difficult to re-establish a professional demeanor with a person
-At final one of you have to leave this job because thing's don't work out or because it's against the company policy to date fellow employees
-Or worst, you don't know what your partner is capable to do if things don't work between you two, it may be ruining your career
-Dating a co-worker can affect your work, if you are unable to differentiate between work and pleasure; so agree to not flirt at work, you have to set up relationship rules for the workplace
-Avoid signs of affection in public such as hand holding, kisses, flirting; you'd better meet off-site for lunch or after program hours
-It is true that you have a lot in common, that you will go with pleasure every morning at the office anxious to see her, and it is a person with who you will always have what to speak about;
-You have someone to confide in concerning your work problems; she may be a great help; but, there are more negatives aspects about this kinds of relationships
-Remember that you have to maintain a professional image, so don't let your relationship affect your performance; if your romance is affecting your work, you may be asked to end your relationship or to find another job
-A relationship like this can create problems in your promotion; the boss may see that you are more preoccupied by your partner than your work
-Develop open communication, if you are dating with a co-worker think about the fact that you have to have two different types of relationships, business and romantic, with the same person;
-Never date with a subordinate because you may be accused for favoritism by the others employers; the others co-workers will exclude you now from certain conversations, will not discuss anymore with you about privacy
-If you spend more and more time with her during the office hours, the more and more you will distance yourself from your associates, those you've developed personal relationships with;
-If you start a relationship with a co-worker it is better to keep it secret; it will need a lot of discretion, energy and effort to keep your office romance just between you two; so don't tell your colleagues about your romance because your both work will be definitely affected
-Also avoid sending electronic love messages or letters because some companies prohibit the use of company e-mails system for personal use, others reserves the right to access or disclose electronic messages or files of an employee
-As a benefit, you get to have lunch together; so from a usual boring office lunch, you can have part of one full of flirting
As you see there are some benefits but most of them are downsides. I suggest you to think very well if you really want to get into a relationship that may affect your career and if you are ready to do this. As I said, it may be very difficult to make it work. But, it remains at your choice what you are going to do.
BONUS : Dating A Professional Single
At one time or another and maybe in some people's cases all the time we've dreamed about dating a rich guy or gal. You know the successful lawyer or doctor or the on the edge entrepreneur. It's that perfect scene we play in our head that allows us to see things just the way we want them to be but in reality dating a professional single may not be quite so picture perfect. Now I don't mean that in a negative sense I mean that more in a realistic, scheduling, goal reaching, aggressive personality sense.
What is a professional single?
I guess in technical terms it would be any single person who holds a "white collar" job. A business owner, a executive, a doctor, a lawyer, I think you get the idea. Someone who probably has a college degree, maybe several, someone who is driven to succeed, who probably enjoys the finer things in life, who doesn't like excuses but relishes results. A person who wants to make the most out of their professional life. They are not satisfied with a 9 to 5 career but are instead looking for every opportunity to succeed as far as they can in their given field. Does that make them a bad person? Does that make them a person who cares for no one but themselves? Hardly, in fact the world needs driven individuals like a professional single. Can you imagine where we would be if the Romans had not had so many driven people or if the Egyptians had decided that thinking big was too much? I'm not trying to get into a history lesson or morality debate here, I'm just showing what a person who is trying to get the most out of themselves can do. A single professional is certainly a person trying to get the most out of themselves.
What are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
Like any relationship involving two people you will always have downfalls so don't be under the impression that dating a professional single will be any better or worse than dating the non-professional single. Those factors lie more in who the person is not what their career is. I mean if you date a jerk, you date a jerk. Whether he has on a $1500 suit or a pair of Levi Overalls, he's a jerk. OK, so what are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
Time away from home - This means time away from you
The job is always on their mind - You might be out on the perfect dinner date but if a big deal is in the works you should not be surprised if the cell phone rings and it's answered.
Perfectionism - They may not be the tidiest person or remember to bring flowers but in some way all highly driven professionals are perfectionists
Job is first - Can you play second fiddle? Although this may not be true in every sense but in many ways the job will come first.
How to avoid the downfalls of dating a professional single.
Time away from home - Of course they're going to be going to the office everyday, maybe out of town once a week or more and maybe even over a weekend in fact if they are very driven, you can expect all of these and more. Late hours, early mornings, numerous days in which you may not see each other and might not even speak one on one. The remedy? Communicate. Have an ongoing calendar, it won't be perfect as things change but it's one tool in communicating. If you can see a schedule it will help you understand what's going that week or day. Always talk once a day. Both of you must be committed to speaking to each other daily. It might be for only 5 minutes at 2 a.m. but it will make a difference.
The job is always on their mind - In every persons professional career especially early on they are given responsibility to get the job done. This may entail them following up on every detail at all hours of the day and night. You must understand that this is part of working your way to the top and even more importantly the professional you are dating must understand that although they might have to take a call at dinner they should keep it as brief as possible and let their colleagues know that a call should only be made if it is extremely important or critical in nature. Communication once again plays a role in the relationship, for all parties involved.
Perfectionism - How hard is it to be perfect? Well since no one that I've ever met is, it must be impossible. That being said we probably all have idiosyncrasies that some would consider a trait of perfectionism. Professional singles are no different, they must have details or actions within their jobs that require perfectionism otherwise the product or service they produce would be substandard which is not the mark of a successful professional. Take the perfectionism in stride and recognize you probably have some traits that drive your partner nuts. Identify, recognize and adapt. Those three words will go along way in helping you and him or her overcome your faults.
The job is first - Ouch, how can someone put something before me? Guess what, this happens whether the person is a professional single or a everyday man. Something's always going to be important to someone and there may come a time when they have to choose you over that activity or function. Although this is a very black and white statement the truth is there is no easy answer for this question. In the case of a job you would have to look at each incident to determine the worth. For example if you had a date planned at 7 and you get a call at 6:45 that something came up at work it's ok to be upset but more importantly you need to judge the moment. Without being a nagger you should find out what is so important that it can't wait until tomorrow, if the answer is valid then you must put it in context with the relationship overall. You knew going in that the career of the person was a big part of their life so you should accept that with that commitment to career comes some sacrifice on your end. However if you find out the reason for the cancellation is not a 911 emergency but a 411 pizza call then you should re-assess the person immediately. This would be a case of someone who is not honest, respectful or committed to having a relationship.
Let's summarize: Dating a professional single will probably entitle you to a lifestyle that leans towards the finer things in life and would probably ensure a future of financial stability and a golden retirement. Dating a professional single will also bring you many hours of you time, interrupted plans and until those retirement years a backseat to the demands of a successful career. If you are a person that can see a person for what they are and accept them for those strengths and faults and if that person meets what you deem as the perfect mate then dating a professional single is probably the best thing you will ever do.
At one time or another and maybe in some people's cases all the time we've dreamed about dating a rich guy or gal. You know the successful lawyer or doctor or the on the edge entrepreneur. It's that perfect scene we play in our head that allows us to see things just the way we want them to be but in reality dating a professional single may not be quite so picture perfect. Now I don't mean that in a negative sense I mean that more in a realistic, scheduling, goal reaching, aggressive personality sense.
What is a professional single?
I guess in technical terms it would be any single person who holds a "white collar" job. A business owner, a executive, a doctor, a lawyer, I think you get the idea. Someone who probably has a college degree, maybe several, someone who is driven to succeed, who probably enjoys the finer things in life, who doesn't like excuses but relishes results. A person who wants to make the most out of their professional life. They are not satisfied with a 9 to 5 career but are instead looking for every opportunity to succeed as far as they can in their given field. Does that make them a bad person? Does that make them a person who cares for no one but themselves? Hardly, in fact the world needs driven individuals like a professional single. Can you imagine where we would be if the Romans had not had so many driven people or if the Egyptians had decided that thinking big was too much? I'm not trying to get into a history lesson or morality debate here, I'm just showing what a person who is trying to get the most out of themselves can do. A single professional is certainly a person trying to get the most out of themselves.
What are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
Like any relationship involving two people you will always have downfalls so don't be under the impression that dating a professional single will be any better or worse than dating the non-professional single. Those factors lie more in who the person is not what their career is. I mean if you date a jerk, you date a jerk. Whether he has on a $1500 suit or a pair of Levi Overalls, he's a jerk. OK, so what are the downfalls to dating a professional single?
Time away from home - This means time away from you
The job is always on their mind - You might be out on the perfect dinner date but if a big deal is in the works you should not be surprised if the cell phone rings and it's answered.
Perfectionism - They may not be the tidiest person or remember to bring flowers but in some way all highly driven professionals are perfectionists
Job is first - Can you play second fiddle? Although this may not be true in every sense but in many ways the job will come first.
How to avoid the downfalls of dating a professional single.
Time away from home - Of course they're going to be going to the office everyday, maybe out of town once a week or more and maybe even over a weekend in fact if they are very driven, you can expect all of these and more. Late hours, early mornings, numerous days in which you may not see each other and might not even speak one on one. The remedy? Communicate. Have an ongoing calendar, it won't be perfect as things change but it's one tool in communicating. If you can see a schedule it will help you understand what's going that week or day. Always talk once a day. Both of you must be committed to speaking to each other daily. It might be for only 5 minutes at 2 a.m. but it will make a difference.
The job is always on their mind - In every persons professional career especially early on they are given responsibility to get the job done. This may entail them following up on every detail at all hours of the day and night. You must understand that this is part of working your way to the top and even more importantly the professional you are dating must understand that although they might have to take a call at dinner they should keep it as brief as possible and let their colleagues know that a call should only be made if it is extremely important or critical in nature. Communication once again plays a role in the relationship, for all parties involved.
Perfectionism - How hard is it to be perfect? Well since no one that I've ever met is, it must be impossible. That being said we probably all have idiosyncrasies that some would consider a trait of perfectionism. Professional singles are no different, they must have details or actions within their jobs that require perfectionism otherwise the product or service they produce would be substandard which is not the mark of a successful professional. Take the perfectionism in stride and recognize you probably have some traits that drive your partner nuts. Identify, recognize and adapt. Those three words will go along way in helping you and him or her overcome your faults.
The job is first - Ouch, how can someone put something before me? Guess what, this happens whether the person is a professional single or a everyday man. Something's always going to be important to someone and there may come a time when they have to choose you over that activity or function. Although this is a very black and white statement the truth is there is no easy answer for this question. In the case of a job you would have to look at each incident to determine the worth. For example if you had a date planned at 7 and you get a call at 6:45 that something came up at work it's ok to be upset but more importantly you need to judge the moment. Without being a nagger you should find out what is so important that it can't wait until tomorrow, if the answer is valid then you must put it in context with the relationship overall. You knew going in that the career of the person was a big part of their life so you should accept that with that commitment to career comes some sacrifice on your end. However if you find out the reason for the cancellation is not a 911 emergency but a 411 pizza call then you should re-assess the person immediately. This would be a case of someone who is not honest, respectful or committed to having a relationship.
Let's summarize: Dating a professional single will probably entitle you to a lifestyle that leans towards the finer things in life and would probably ensure a future of financial stability and a golden retirement. Dating a professional single will also bring you many hours of you time, interrupted plans and until those retirement years a backseat to the demands of a successful career. If you are a person that can see a person for what they are and accept them for those strengths and faults and if that person meets what you deem as the perfect mate then dating a professional single is probably the best thing you will ever do.
