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How To Fake Being A Better Guitarist In Five Simple Steps Part 1
You spend five hours a day playing your guitar. You run your scales, master your legato, your two hand tapping would make EVH blush. So why is it that every time you see a band playing at a bar with a guitarist with only a smidgen of your technical ability he is the centre of attention, garnering the praise of all the punters in the crowd?
Wait a minute. Isnt that the band that you tried out for the other week? The same band that said dont call us, well call you? The same band that was witness to your smoking 32nd note Lydian masterpiece solo?
Yeah it is, and you got smoked because the guitarist on stage knows how to fake being better than they actually are.
Its not a hard thing to do. I should know, Ive done it for years. Im the first to admit to being an average guitarist (actually, Ive been practicing a lot lately and now would call myself an above average player, but that is another column in the works). Despite being average, I would get a lot of people, drunken punters, other musicians, women, all approach me after shows proclaiming how good I am. Like most of my ex-girlfriends, Ive been faking it all along. And now I am going to teach you how to do the same.
Over the next two weeks, I will share with you my five secret tips to help you Fake Being A Better Guitarist. Well start today with tip #1 an #2.
1. Decent equipment is a must and look professional
Sorry boys and girls, its time to spend some money. A picture is worth a thousand words, and when it comes to music your image is worth a thousand notes. There is nothing quite as satisfying showing up to a guitarist cattle call with your Marshall half stack on a trolley as you pass all the little Peavey Bandit combos and the like. Straight away you give the impression that you know what you are doing.
But this is not just about your amp. Guitars, effects, leads, the whole lot. This means guitar cases, if you have multiple effects a decent pedal board system set up and ready to just plug in. You need to look somewhat professional without looking like a complete tosser.
Its even more important on stage. Standing on stage with a nice looking guitar and a cool backline is confidence building to say the least. Plus it makes you look damn sexy to boot.
This doesnt mean spending a fortune though. I have an amazing sounding Fender Twin, but it stays at home while my Marshall AVT150 half stack hits the road with me. The half stack with my Epiphone Les Paul with classic tri-tone sunburst finish and some decent threads make me look the business.
2. Learn to sing
I cant stress this enough. An average guitarist who is an average singer will get more gigs than an awesome guitarist who sounds like a dying dolphin. It makes you are more versatile, worthwhile musician for any band if you can step up to the mic and sing as well. It makes you look like a musician, rather than just a guitarist. Its also a hell of a lot of fun.
Of course, some people just cannot sing, and this is you then dont try to. Be honest with yourself on this one. If you cant sing and you try to then you just look like a fool. And looking like a fool will not make you look like a good guitarist.
A good way to improve your singing is start singing along with your favourite artists. Its a cliché, but start in the shower / bathroom with a small stereo cranking out some of you favourite songs. The natural reverb will make your voice sound better and give you some confidence (its an old studio trick to feed a wet mix back to the singer as they are recording). Then progress to the car while youre driving. Its private and you can just belt it out while you are in between your normal routine. Then the hard part comes. Listen to some music with harmonies and try to sing the different parts. I found Alice In Chains is especially good for doing this. And finally add harmonies to songs that dont have them.
When you are confident you can do that, then, and only then, try to sing when you are playing. When you can do that (and that will take a while) you can start to think about doing it with your band.
Wrap Up
So there are the first two tips, looking the part and learning to sing. These two things alone will make you look more like a real musician and come across as a real guitarist. Remember that being a guitarist is more than just playing well, it is a persona, a way of being. By rounding out these other facets of your guitarist personality, the way others will perceive you skills will rise dramatically. Next week Ill look at the next three tips and by then youll be able to fake it just like that guitarist on the stage.
BONUS : How To Fake Being A Better Guitarist In Five Simple Steps Part 2 Of 2
Last time I talked about looking the part with good equipment to come across professionally, and ways to get up to speed on your singing. This week, Im going to share some simple but often ignored pieces of information that can really push the impression you make from just a guitar player, to a fully fledged musician.
3. Be in tune
This is possibly the most obvious tip but you would be surprised how many people dont follow it. NEVER EVER trust your ears for tuning when you are playing with or in front of people. You may think you sound perfectly in tune and at the same time you are sending someone (most likely me) up the wall. A floor tuner like the Boss TU-2 is a necessity. And dont skimp on a cheap one. They usually have little to no shielding and introduce noise into your rig.
There is more to tuning though than the open strings. Your guitars intonation needs to be accurate as well. There is no point being in tune until you solo and then you are out of tune up the neck because your guitars intonation is shot. Check it now. Hit a string open, and then do the harmonic at the 12th fret. Is it the exact same note (only an octave higher)? Chances are its not and it will be noticed. There are plenty of guides on line that show you how to intonate your guitars, but it is worth getting it done properly (something that even I still do).
Another thing that having a tuner can help you with is something I call pitch pressure. Its like the Doppler Effect you hear when a siren is approaching or passing you. This is the effect that some musicians experience (myself included) at various times. Basically what happens is that due to the acoustic surroundings, whether excessive volume, frequency reflections, distance from sound source, sometimes your sense of pitch gets put out a few cents. There was one venue in particular that I used to play that I would swear my guitar was sharp compared to everyone else. But when I would tune, I was perfectly set. It was just that my ears were not hearing the true frequency spread.
When you are in tune, you sound good. When you are not, you sound like a looser. Its simple to do so make sure you do.
4. Learn Pinch Harmonics
This sounds so dumb it has to be true. The most boring of licks can be livened up and turned into an ear catching line with the addition of a simple pinch harmonic. The sudden dynamic shift that is created by the pinch harmonic will grab everyones attention, and is the sort of thing most people only hear on record. It is instantly associated with being professional, and professional is associated with talent.
To perform the pinch harmonic, simply follow your picking stroke on the string with the slightest edge from your thumb, in the same motion. It may take a little to get used to, but when you nail it sounds fantastic. Keep at it and soon enough you will be able to do it without thinking. Be warned though, muff it, and it will sound terrible. So make sure you can get it right every time before you pull this trick out in front of anyone.
I remember one night in particular, I had fresh strings on and the harmonics were really just popping out with ease. Being in a venue with a great in house PA, the notes would just feedback perfectly for infinite sustain.
That night on stage, I was a god. All because of this one simple trick.
5. Learn One Solo Really Well
It doesnt matter what you do, but if you impress someone once at any given task, they will remember. And that goes especially for lead guitar. All it takes is one great solo rendition and you will always be thought of as a great guitarist.
Choose a recognisable solo, one that people will know. It doesnt have to be flash, but that does help. Learn the solo note for note as best as you can. Try to mimic the solo as much as humanly possible. All the bends, the vibrato, the feel and mood. Learn it so well you can play it without thinking.
Then let it rip.
Hear me playing it live one night right here. And if you listen carefully, after the fast descending run towards the end you can just hear the crowd in the background cheer. That is the greatest feeling in the world.
The other advantage of this is the confidence that you can play that well. And being a good guitarist is all about confidence.
Wrap Up
That concludes my guide on How To Fake Being A Better Guitarist in Five Simple Steps. I hope that now you have the tools to at least get you some respect and hopefully fool the average and not so average Joe you are better than you are. These are no substitute for real practice and hard work, but they all work hand in hand. If you want to be a good guitarist, it will take time, but at least you can spead up the appearance a bit.
Last time I talked about looking the part with good equipment to come across professionally, and ways to get up to speed on your singing. This week, Im going to share some simple but often ignored pieces of information that can really push the impression you make from just a guitar player, to a fully fledged musician.
3. Be in tune
This is possibly the most obvious tip but you would be surprised how many people dont follow it. NEVER EVER trust your ears for tuning when you are playing with or in front of people. You may think you sound perfectly in tune and at the same time you are sending someone (most likely me) up the wall. A floor tuner like the Boss TU-2 is a necessity. And dont skimp on a cheap one. They usually have little to no shielding and introduce noise into your rig.
There is more to tuning though than the open strings. Your guitars intonation needs to be accurate as well. There is no point being in tune until you solo and then you are out of tune up the neck because your guitars intonation is shot. Check it now. Hit a string open, and then do the harmonic at the 12th fret. Is it the exact same note (only an octave higher)? Chances are its not and it will be noticed. There are plenty of guides on line that show you how to intonate your guitars, but it is worth getting it done properly (something that even I still do).
Another thing that having a tuner can help you with is something I call pitch pressure. Its like the Doppler Effect you hear when a siren is approaching or passing you. This is the effect that some musicians experience (myself included) at various times. Basically what happens is that due to the acoustic surroundings, whether excessive volume, frequency reflections, distance from sound source, sometimes your sense of pitch gets put out a few cents. There was one venue in particular that I used to play that I would swear my guitar was sharp compared to everyone else. But when I would tune, I was perfectly set. It was just that my ears were not hearing the true frequency spread.
When you are in tune, you sound good. When you are not, you sound like a looser. Its simple to do so make sure you do.
4. Learn Pinch Harmonics
This sounds so dumb it has to be true. The most boring of licks can be livened up and turned into an ear catching line with the addition of a simple pinch harmonic. The sudden dynamic shift that is created by the pinch harmonic will grab everyones attention, and is the sort of thing most people only hear on record. It is instantly associated with being professional, and professional is associated with talent.
To perform the pinch harmonic, simply follow your picking stroke on the string with the slightest edge from your thumb, in the same motion. It may take a little to get used to, but when you nail it sounds fantastic. Keep at it and soon enough you will be able to do it without thinking. Be warned though, muff it, and it will sound terrible. So make sure you can get it right every time before you pull this trick out in front of anyone.
I remember one night in particular, I had fresh strings on and the harmonics were really just popping out with ease. Being in a venue with a great in house PA, the notes would just feedback perfectly for infinite sustain.
That night on stage, I was a god. All because of this one simple trick.
5. Learn One Solo Really Well
It doesnt matter what you do, but if you impress someone once at any given task, they will remember. And that goes especially for lead guitar. All it takes is one great solo rendition and you will always be thought of as a great guitarist.
Choose a recognisable solo, one that people will know. It doesnt have to be flash, but that does help. Learn the solo note for note as best as you can. Try to mimic the solo as much as humanly possible. All the bends, the vibrato, the feel and mood. Learn it so well you can play it without thinking.
Then let it rip.
Hear me playing it live one night right here. And if you listen carefully, after the fast descending run towards the end you can just hear the crowd in the background cheer. That is the greatest feeling in the world.
The other advantage of this is the confidence that you can play that well. And being a good guitarist is all about confidence.
Wrap Up
That concludes my guide on How To Fake Being A Better Guitarist in Five Simple Steps. I hope that now you have the tools to at least get you some respect and hopefully fool the average and not so average Joe you are better than you are. These are no substitute for real practice and hard work, but they all work hand in hand. If you want to be a good guitarist, it will take time, but at least you can spead up the appearance a bit.
