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We Are Gods Of A Greater God
We Are Gods Of A Greater God
Word Count:
476
Summary:
Have you ever wished that you were a God, creating anything you could possibly want, and destroying the things that you don't want? Have you ever wished that you could wiggle your nose, and a pile of money would magicallly appear? Or, maybe make a wish upon a star, and it comes true?
Keywords:
self, help, improvement, goal, setting, manifesting, positive, energy
Article Body:
Have you ever wished that you were a God, creating anything you could possibly want, and destroying the things that you don't want? Have you ever wished that you could wiggle your nose, and a pile of money would magicallly appear? Or, maybe make a wish upon a star, and it comes true?
Wishing upon a star may or may not work, but wishes can come true, hence the saying, "Be careful what you wish for." So, if wishes can come true, then just what is it that makes this happen? Wishes are just thoughts, right? Then there must be some sort of force, or energy in thoughts, that enables them to become things. In fact, all things have energy, even thoughts. It's just a matter of harnessing that energy, and properly directing it into something solid.
There is a term for this concept, and that term is manifestation. The act of creating something visible, like money, out of something invisible, like thoughts. It is the subconcious mind that turns wishes into reality, not the concious mind. You will probably be waiting for a long time if you simply just state your wish, like wishing upon a star. It has to be deeper than that. You need to be dreaming about your wishes. You need to see pictures of your wishes over and over again. This is why subliminal messages are so powerful, because images are flashed very quickly, and your subconcious mind picks up on that.
So, putting up pictures of what you want, or signs with simple words, can really help your subconcious in figuring out what it is you want. If you want money, put up a picture of money, and look at it frequently. If you want a better body, put up a picture of what you would like to look like.
Your subconcious will then understand that that is what you want. You will need to look at these pictures frequently, and especially upon waking. It is also reccommended that if you wake up in the middle of the night, the time when your subconcious is most active, that you look at the picture, close your eyes, look again, close your eyes, and repeat this process, until you get what you want.
You can create virtually anything, changing your life. But you need to believe that you can do it, set your goals, and remain positive that it will happen. There is an indescribable amount of power behind thoughts, and one just needs to learn to use this power to changes their selves, and their lives for the better.
If you are interested in these concepts, and would like to change your life for the better, then please visit my website, where you will get access to the FREE ebook "The Manifesting Mindset." You can find the my website address below.
BONUS : Title:
We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations
Word Count:
1565
Summary:
Think of a conversation youve been putting off. Got it? Great. Then lets go.
Keywords:
communication,conflict,difficult conversations,problem solving,advocacy,acknowledgement,inquiry
Article Body:
Think of a conversation youve been putting off. Got it? Great. Then lets go.
There are dozens of books on the topic of difficult, crucial, challenging, important (you get the idea) conversations (I list several at the end of this article). Those times when you know you should talk to someone, but you dont. Maybe youve tried and it went badly. Or maybe you fear that talking will only make the situation worse. Still, theres a feeling of being stuck, and youd like to free up that stuck energy for more useful purposes.
What you have here is a brief synopsis of best practice strategies: a checklist of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some useful concepts to practice during the conversation; and some tips and suggestions to help your energy stay focused and flowing, including possible conversation openings.
Youll notice one key theme throughout: you have more power than you think.
Working on Yourself: How To Prepare for the Conversation
Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions:
1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome?
Watch for hidden purposes. You may think you have honorable goals, like educating an employee or increasing connection with your teen, only to notice that your language is excessively critical or condescending. You think you want to support, but you end up punishing. Some purposes are more useful than others. Work on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose.
2. What assumptions are you making about this persons intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent.
3. What buttons of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your backstory, as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but youll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you.
4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try to adjust your attitude for maximum effectiveness.
5. Who is the opponent? What might he be thinking about this situation? Is he aware of the problem? If so, how do you think he perceives it? What are his needs and fears? What solution do you think he would suggest? Begin to reframe the opponent as partner.
6. What are your needs and fears? Are there any common concerns? Could there be?
7. How have you contributed to the problem? How has the other person?
4 Steps to a Successful Outcome
The majority of the work in any conflict conversation is work you do on yourself. No matter how well the conversation begins, youll need to stay in charge of yourself, your purpose and your emotional energy. Breathe, center, and continue to notice when you become off centerand choose to return again. This is where your power lies. By choosing the calm, centered state, youll help your opponent/partner to be more centered, too. Centering is not a step; centering is how you are as you take the steps. (For more on Centering, see the Resource section at the end of the article.)
Step #1: Inquiry
Cultivate an attitude of discovery and curiosity. Pretend you dont know anything (you really dont), and try to learn as much as possible about your opponent/partner and his point of view. Pretend youre entertaining a visitor from another planet, and find out how things look on that planet, how certain events affect the other person, and what the values and priorities are there.
If your partner really was from another planet, youd be watching his body language and listening for unspoken energy as well. Do that here. What does he really want? What is he not saying?
Let your partner talk until he is finished. Dont interrupt except to acknowledge. Whatever you hear, dont take it personally. Its not really about you. Try to learn as much as you can in this phase of the conversation. Youll get your turn, but dont rush things.
Step #2: Acknowledgment
Acknowledgment means showing that youve heard and understood. Try to understand the other person so well you can make his argument for him. Then do it. Explain back to him what you think he's really going for. Guess at his hopes and honor his position. He will not change unless he sees that you see where he stands. Then he might. No guarantees.
Acknowledge whatever you can, including your own defensiveness if it comes up. Its fine; it just is. You can decide later how to address it. For example, in an argument with a friend, I said: I notice Im becoming defensive, and I think its because your voice just got louder and sounded angry. I just want to talk about this topic. Im not trying to persuade you in either direction. The acknowledgment helped him (and me) to re-center.
Acknowledgment can be difficult if we associate it with agreement. Keep them separate. My saying, this sounds really important to you, doesnt mean Im going to go along with your decision.
Step #3: Advocacy
When you sense your opponent/partner has expressed all his energy on the topic, its your turn. What can you see from your perspective that he's missed? Help clarify your position without minimizing his. For example: From what youve told me, I can see how you came to the conclusion that Im not a team player. And I think I am. When I introduce problems with a project, Im thinking about its long-term success. I dont mean to be a critic, though perhaps I sound like one. Maybe we can talk about how to address these issues so that my intention is clear.
Step #4: Problem-Solving
Now youre ready to begin building solutions. Brainstorming and continued inquiry are useful here. Ask your opponent/partner what he thinks might work. Whatever he says, find something you like and build on it. If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to inquiry. Asking for the others point of view usually creates safety and encourages him to engage. If youve been successful in centering, adjusting your attitude, and engaging with inquiry and useful purpose, building sustainable solutions will be easy.
Practice, Practice, Practice
The art of conversation is like any artwith continued practice you acquire skill and ease. Here are some additional hints:
Tips and Suggestions:
A successful outcome will depend on two things: how you are and what you say. How you are (centered, supportive, curious, problem-solving) will greatly influence what you say.
Acknowledge emotional energyyours and your partner'sand direct it toward a useful purpose.
Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.
Dont take verbal attacks personally. Help your opponent/partner come back to center.
Dont assume your opponent/partner can see things from your point of view.
Practice the conversation with a friend before holding the real one.
Mentally practice the conversation. See various possibilities and visualize yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you are hoping for.
How Do I Begin?
In my workshops, a common question is How do I begin the conversation? Here are a few conversation openers Ive picked up over the yearsand used many times!
I have something Id like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.
Id like to talk about ____________ with you, but first Id like to get your point of view.
I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
I need your help with something. Can we talk about it (soon)? If the person says, Sure, let me get back to you, follow up with him.
I think we have different perceptions about _____________________. Id like to hear your thinking on this.
Id like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different ideas about how to _____________________.
Id like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.
Write a possible opening for your conversation here:
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Good luck! Let me know if this article has been useful by contacting me at http://www.judyringer.com
Resources
The Magic of Conflict, by Thomas F. Crum (www.aikiworks.com)
Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (www.triadcgi.com)
Crucial Conversations, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler (www.crucialconversations.com)
FAQ about Conflict, by Judy Ringer http://www.JudyRinger.com
We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations
Word Count:
1565
Summary:
Think of a conversation youve been putting off. Got it? Great. Then lets go.
Keywords:
communication,conflict,difficult conversations,problem solving,advocacy,acknowledgement,inquiry
Article Body:
Think of a conversation youve been putting off. Got it? Great. Then lets go.
There are dozens of books on the topic of difficult, crucial, challenging, important (you get the idea) conversations (I list several at the end of this article). Those times when you know you should talk to someone, but you dont. Maybe youve tried and it went badly. Or maybe you fear that talking will only make the situation worse. Still, theres a feeling of being stuck, and youd like to free up that stuck energy for more useful purposes.
What you have here is a brief synopsis of best practice strategies: a checklist of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some useful concepts to practice during the conversation; and some tips and suggestions to help your energy stay focused and flowing, including possible conversation openings.
Youll notice one key theme throughout: you have more power than you think.
Working on Yourself: How To Prepare for the Conversation
Before going into the conversation, ask yourself some questions:
1. What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome?
Watch for hidden purposes. You may think you have honorable goals, like educating an employee or increasing connection with your teen, only to notice that your language is excessively critical or condescending. You think you want to support, but you end up punishing. Some purposes are more useful than others. Work on yourself so that you enter the conversation with a supportive purpose.
2. What assumptions are you making about this persons intentions? You may feel intimidated, belittled, ignored, disrespected, or marginalized, but be cautious about assuming that this was the speaker's intention. Impact does not necessarily equal intent.
3. What buttons of yours are being pushed? Are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Take a look at your backstory, as they say in the movies. What personal history is being triggered? You may still have the conversation, but youll go into it knowing that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you.
4. How is your attitude toward the conversation influencing your perception of it If you think this is going to be horribly difficult, it probably will be. If you truly believe that whatever happens, some good will come of it, that will likely be the case. Try to adjust your attitude for maximum effectiveness.
5. Who is the opponent? What might he be thinking about this situation? Is he aware of the problem? If so, how do you think he perceives it? What are his needs and fears? What solution do you think he would suggest? Begin to reframe the opponent as partner.
6. What are your needs and fears? Are there any common concerns? Could there be?
7. How have you contributed to the problem? How has the other person?
4 Steps to a Successful Outcome
The majority of the work in any conflict conversation is work you do on yourself. No matter how well the conversation begins, youll need to stay in charge of yourself, your purpose and your emotional energy. Breathe, center, and continue to notice when you become off centerand choose to return again. This is where your power lies. By choosing the calm, centered state, youll help your opponent/partner to be more centered, too. Centering is not a step; centering is how you are as you take the steps. (For more on Centering, see the Resource section at the end of the article.)
Step #1: Inquiry
Cultivate an attitude of discovery and curiosity. Pretend you dont know anything (you really dont), and try to learn as much as possible about your opponent/partner and his point of view. Pretend youre entertaining a visitor from another planet, and find out how things look on that planet, how certain events affect the other person, and what the values and priorities are there.
If your partner really was from another planet, youd be watching his body language and listening for unspoken energy as well. Do that here. What does he really want? What is he not saying?
Let your partner talk until he is finished. Dont interrupt except to acknowledge. Whatever you hear, dont take it personally. Its not really about you. Try to learn as much as you can in this phase of the conversation. Youll get your turn, but dont rush things.
Step #2: Acknowledgment
Acknowledgment means showing that youve heard and understood. Try to understand the other person so well you can make his argument for him. Then do it. Explain back to him what you think he's really going for. Guess at his hopes and honor his position. He will not change unless he sees that you see where he stands. Then he might. No guarantees.
Acknowledge whatever you can, including your own defensiveness if it comes up. Its fine; it just is. You can decide later how to address it. For example, in an argument with a friend, I said: I notice Im becoming defensive, and I think its because your voice just got louder and sounded angry. I just want to talk about this topic. Im not trying to persuade you in either direction. The acknowledgment helped him (and me) to re-center.
Acknowledgment can be difficult if we associate it with agreement. Keep them separate. My saying, this sounds really important to you, doesnt mean Im going to go along with your decision.
Step #3: Advocacy
When you sense your opponent/partner has expressed all his energy on the topic, its your turn. What can you see from your perspective that he's missed? Help clarify your position without minimizing his. For example: From what youve told me, I can see how you came to the conclusion that Im not a team player. And I think I am. When I introduce problems with a project, Im thinking about its long-term success. I dont mean to be a critic, though perhaps I sound like one. Maybe we can talk about how to address these issues so that my intention is clear.
Step #4: Problem-Solving
Now youre ready to begin building solutions. Brainstorming and continued inquiry are useful here. Ask your opponent/partner what he thinks might work. Whatever he says, find something you like and build on it. If the conversation becomes adversarial, go back to inquiry. Asking for the others point of view usually creates safety and encourages him to engage. If youve been successful in centering, adjusting your attitude, and engaging with inquiry and useful purpose, building sustainable solutions will be easy.
Practice, Practice, Practice
The art of conversation is like any artwith continued practice you acquire skill and ease. Here are some additional hints:
Tips and Suggestions:
A successful outcome will depend on two things: how you are and what you say. How you are (centered, supportive, curious, problem-solving) will greatly influence what you say.
Acknowledge emotional energyyours and your partner'sand direct it toward a useful purpose.
Know and return to your purpose at difficult moments.
Dont take verbal attacks personally. Help your opponent/partner come back to center.
Dont assume your opponent/partner can see things from your point of view.
Practice the conversation with a friend before holding the real one.
Mentally practice the conversation. See various possibilities and visualize yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you are hoping for.
How Do I Begin?
In my workshops, a common question is How do I begin the conversation? Here are a few conversation openers Ive picked up over the yearsand used many times!
I have something Id like to discuss with you that I think will help us work together more effectively.
Id like to talk about ____________ with you, but first Id like to get your point of view.
I need your help with what just happened. Do you have a few minutes to talk?
I need your help with something. Can we talk about it (soon)? If the person says, Sure, let me get back to you, follow up with him.
I think we have different perceptions about _____________________. Id like to hear your thinking on this.
Id like to talk about ___________________. I think we may have different ideas about how to _____________________.
Id like to see if we might reach a better understanding about ___________. I really want to hear your feelings about this and share my perspective as well.
Write a possible opening for your conversation here:
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Good luck! Let me know if this article has been useful by contacting me at http://www.judyringer.com
Resources
The Magic of Conflict, by Thomas F. Crum (www.aikiworks.com)
Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (www.triadcgi.com)
Crucial Conversations, by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler (www.crucialconversations.com)
FAQ about Conflict, by Judy Ringer http://www.JudyRinger.com
