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Stop Divorce
Stop Marriage Divorce > > >
The odds are one out of two that your marriage will end up in a divorce. At least, that is what the statistics say. But statistics do not have to determine whether or not divorce happens to you. Deep down, many people really prefer to stop divorce from happening to their marriage. Before you file for divorce you may want to ask yourself some tough questions to determine if a plan to stop divorce is a much better alternative.
Do I really want to walk away from this marriage?
This first question may seem rather obvious on the surface, but not everyone truly takes the time to search their soul before signing divorce papers. If there has been a lot of anger or other strong emotions present in the marriage, it can cloud your thinking and lead you to make decisions that arent always in your best interest. If you want to stop divorce, you must set your emotions aside, at least temporarily, and try to gain some perspective on the situation. Often, if a couple can address the issue underlying the emotional pain, the healing of the relationship can begin.
What will I lose if I divorce my spouse?
If your marriage has been in crisis for a long time and you are considering divorce, you likely have thought more about how much better off you will be by getting out of the marriage. Unfortunately, many people dont realize what they had until it is gone. Rather than thinking how much better it may be, think long and hard about what you will lose if you divorce your spouse.
Most likely there was a lot of good in your marriage. We tend to forget the good times when we are upset, angry, bitter, resentful, or hurt. Those emotions cloud everything and blind us to all the good things we have in our life. Try to set aside all the negative things which you are sure you wont miss, and make a list of all the good things you will lose if you dont stop divorce from happening. You might be surprised at the answers you come up with.
How will this affect our children?
If you have children, you really want to think very carefully about the impact a divorce will have on them. Children often blame themselves when their parents split up. Also, it can significantly disrupt their overall sense of security. And if you are planning to share custody or allow weekend visits, consider the toll that that sort of arrangement will take on your children. To stop divorce may be the best thing you can do for them.
What is this going to cost me in terms of finances, friendship and family?
Another very serious question you need to ask yourself before you pursue a divorce is what is the real cost? Many people dont really know how much they stand to lose until the divorce is final. While financial cost is certainly a factor, the true losses are usually much more painful. You may lose relationships with family members, particularly those of your spouse.
You may also lose friendships. Many people that are currently in your life as a couple may feel the need to choose sides if you dont stop divorce. If they were initially your spouses friends (or family members), chances are they will cool their relationship with you if you go through with the divorce.
Those are just a few of the tough questions you really need to think through before proceeding with a divorce. While divorce may seem like the only solution at the moment, as you answer those questions you may decide that to stop divorce and work on healing your marriage is a far better solution to whatever marital challenges you and your spouse are facing.
Stop Marriage Divorce > > >
BONUS : Stop Marriage Divorce
If your marriage is in crisis and you or your spouse are thinking that a divorce is your only option, you need to realize that it doesnt always have to be. To stop marriage divorce it is very important that you understand that what seems impossible, hopeless, and irreconcilable today may not seem that way tomorrow. But in order to gain some perspective and begin working towards a different solution, there are several things you can do.
One of the first things you can do is to write down all the positive things about your marriage. This may be particularly difficult if you are really angry, hurt, upset, or bitter towards your spouse. But if you can take a little time and temporarily set those emotions aside, you may be surprised at how many good things you can find that will make you want to stop marriage divorce.
It is often said that what we focus on expands. Chances are, youve spent so much time focusing on the negative aspects of your marriage for so long, that you have totally lost sight of all the good things. Not to mention, if you have already filed for a divorce, it is human nature to search for everything we can to justify the decision that was made. Recognize that tendency and determine to come up with a long list of all the things you love and appreciate about your spouse as well as your life together. They are there. If they werent, you would have never gotten married in the first place.
After you have made that list, make a second list where you write down all the negative elements that accompany a divorce. In addition to the financial toll it will likely take, it will also affect your children, be very stressful for you, and result in many other losses as well. As both of these lists grow, you may very well start thinking that to stop marriage divorce is a much better plan than going through with it.
Now that you have made those two lists, make a third list. This time include all the ways in which you have been contributing to or creating problems in your marriage. Sometimes people who are considering divorce tend to focus on all their spouses shortcomings while refusing to consider their own. Sadly, if you never bother to consider your own relationship flaws, you are going to take them with you right into the next relationship. It is better to stop marriage divorce now than end up in the same situation with someone new a few years from now.
Dont be surprised if you wake up one day and feel like you are recreating your previous relationship. Without taking inventory and making some hard changes, you will tend to keep attracting the same type of partner and have the same types of conflicts. Wouldnt it make more sense to work on yourself now, in this relationship, if at all possible? Once you make this list, determine what some of the steps are that you can take to break the problematic patterns that come from you. Making positive changes is a great way to stop marriage divorce but it shows your spouse that you are aware of your shortcomings and are willing to work on them.
Last of all, encourage your partner (gently, dont pressure!) to make similar lists of his or her own. Doing an exercise like this and discussing what you discovered can be a small step towards getting back on track. If you truly want to stop marriage divorce, start putting some thought into these lists and then go from there. You may be surprised at what you find in the process!
If your marriage is in crisis and you or your spouse are thinking that a divorce is your only option, you need to realize that it doesnt always have to be. To stop marriage divorce it is very important that you understand that what seems impossible, hopeless, and irreconcilable today may not seem that way tomorrow. But in order to gain some perspective and begin working towards a different solution, there are several things you can do.
One of the first things you can do is to write down all the positive things about your marriage. This may be particularly difficult if you are really angry, hurt, upset, or bitter towards your spouse. But if you can take a little time and temporarily set those emotions aside, you may be surprised at how many good things you can find that will make you want to stop marriage divorce.
It is often said that what we focus on expands. Chances are, youve spent so much time focusing on the negative aspects of your marriage for so long, that you have totally lost sight of all the good things. Not to mention, if you have already filed for a divorce, it is human nature to search for everything we can to justify the decision that was made. Recognize that tendency and determine to come up with a long list of all the things you love and appreciate about your spouse as well as your life together. They are there. If they werent, you would have never gotten married in the first place.
After you have made that list, make a second list where you write down all the negative elements that accompany a divorce. In addition to the financial toll it will likely take, it will also affect your children, be very stressful for you, and result in many other losses as well. As both of these lists grow, you may very well start thinking that to stop marriage divorce is a much better plan than going through with it.
Now that you have made those two lists, make a third list. This time include all the ways in which you have been contributing to or creating problems in your marriage. Sometimes people who are considering divorce tend to focus on all their spouses shortcomings while refusing to consider their own. Sadly, if you never bother to consider your own relationship flaws, you are going to take them with you right into the next relationship. It is better to stop marriage divorce now than end up in the same situation with someone new a few years from now.
Dont be surprised if you wake up one day and feel like you are recreating your previous relationship. Without taking inventory and making some hard changes, you will tend to keep attracting the same type of partner and have the same types of conflicts. Wouldnt it make more sense to work on yourself now, in this relationship, if at all possible? Once you make this list, determine what some of the steps are that you can take to break the problematic patterns that come from you. Making positive changes is a great way to stop marriage divorce but it shows your spouse that you are aware of your shortcomings and are willing to work on them.
Last of all, encourage your partner (gently, dont pressure!) to make similar lists of his or her own. Doing an exercise like this and discussing what you discovered can be a small step towards getting back on track. If you truly want to stop marriage divorce, start putting some thought into these lists and then go from there. You may be surprised at what you find in the process!
