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And To All A Goodnight

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And To All A Goodnight!

You've just spent a good part of the evening preparing your baby for bed. As she falls asleep in your arms you tenderly place her in her cot; her eyes flash open and she screams the house down. So you lift her and start all over again!

One of the most frustrating things about having a baby who refuses to sleep in her cot is that you know she is exhausted - because you are also exhausted.

So is there a panacea for this timeless problem?

Routine is a great teacher. But getting into one is not so easy. It takes time and perseverance on your part. But at the end of the day it makes for a happy family.

Try to have a set bedtime. As it approaches, watch for signs that your baby is getting tired. She may cry for a prolonged period and only settle when you lift her. Or she may rub her eyes or pull at her ears. Try to notice such signs, because if she gets over-tired it will become more difficult to settle her.

A warm bath can be a wonderful way to prepare baby for sleep. You may like to try adding a few drops of essential lavender oil as it is renowned for its relaxing properties. Or add some specially formulated sleepy baby bubble bath.

Avoid playing with the baby during her bedtime bath. You do not want to get her excited as this will have the opposite effect to that intended! Simply trickle some warm bath water over her as she lies in the bath.

After bathing, many babies are very receptive to a baby massage. Play some soft music as you massage her.

You can give a dry massage, without oil, or an oily massage using extra virgin olive oil. If you do intend using any oil place a small amount of it on her inside arm and leave for about ten minutes. Check to ensure there has been no reaction before massaging her.

If she is fine, rub a small amount of oil, about the size of a ten pence coin, into your hands. This will warm the oil and not shock the baby! Do not rush the massage. Keep it slow. She will let you know if she is not happy. If this is the case, end the session. Try again the following night.

There are lots of good baby massage books available which show you a variety of massage techniques. And many organisations run free courses. Ask your health visitor to keep you informed.

After her massage, give baby a cuddle and dress her for bed. Keep your movements slow. This will ensure she stays calm.
Some babies enjoy a feed before sleeping, so you may like to feed her after her bath. If she is breastfed she may fall asleep on the breast. It is best to waken her before placing her in her cot as babies can get frightened if they awaken in different surroundings to those in which they fell asleep.

New parents, and even experienced parents, can often be indecisive about what is required for the baby to settle in her cot. Should baby go to sleep in the dark? Or should you leave a light on? Should you play music? Or is silence better?

For many parents the solution is to leave a small, dim, night-light on so that baby will not be frightened if she awakens later on. It is also a good idea to play a soothing lullaby CD and leave it playing quietly on repeat. Play the same CD every night and baby will begin to look forward to bedtime! Babies love repetition. It makes them feel secure.

Babies are never too young for a bedtime story or a lullaby. And many babies have a favourite bedtime story that they like to hear every night before sleeping.

If your baby gets upset when you place her in the cot, stay with her for a few moments. Tell her firmly that it is bedtime and say goodnight. Leave the room, but stay nearby. Allow her to cry for around thirty seconds. Return to the room and again say goodnight. Do not chat! If she is standing up, lie her down. She will probably scramble straight back onto her feet! Leave the room again.

Each time wait slightly longer before returning. It can be a good idea to move around nearby, but not in the same room, and allow baby to hear that you are nearby. You may like to hum a tune or chat to your partner. Avoid keeping the whole house silent. Babies need to learn to sleep through some noise.

If baby gets very distressed, simply return to her and comfort her with a little hug. And then lie her down. It can be incredibly difficult to refrain from lifting her. But be assured that eventually she will fall asleep.

Within two or three nights most babies stop protesting and have learnt what bedtime means. Many happily lie down and fall straight to sleep once the routine is established. As a result your baby will be happier and so too will your family!

Goodnight!
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BONUS : Are Chat Rooms A Menace To Your Children?

My answer would be: yes, with qualifications.

I've been running internet chat rooms since 1998, at http://www.tigertom.com/chat_rooms.htm. Nothing fancy. The software was freely available. I just had to make some important modifications: adding bad word filters and automated 'kicking' (ejection from the rooms).

You think free speech is a good thing, until you read what anonymous, malevolent young men say to fifteen-year-old girls. It isn't Shakespeare, let me tell you that.

That's another key point: anonymity. A pillar of the free speech argument. Let freedom fighters and the repressed masses have their say! Except it's more likely a twenty-five-year-old sociopath pretending to be sixteen and making young girls cry with his sickening profanity.

Free from all morés, and safe from physical retribution, we see the contents of the subconscious pour forth unrestrained. And a hellish stream of psychic sewage it is.

This can be combated by bad word filters and having human moderators. The most important shield of all, I think, is education. "Don't take candy from strangers", "You don't need drugs until you're ill", and now: "Don't bandy words with trolls" (people who deliberately upset other internet users with provocative language).

Most chat rooms now have an 'ignore' function. It's a bit like the hooligan in the street: he's *looking* for a reaction; if you ignore him, it's infuriating. To him. You glide on by, figuratively speaking, while he rants on unheard.

Parents should take an interest in what their children are doing online. See if you can find out what service they've joined, and join up yourself; get a taste of it. Teenagers define themselves as adults-to-be by choosing a different path to their parents: if you are conservative, they'll try liberalism, and vice-versa.

Therefore, you shouldn't try to join in with their activities as an equal; just keep informed.

They may gripe, but secretly they're glad you care. A parent who lets their child do whatever they want gives them no standard to measure themselves against.

Another problem with basic chat rooms is that you can develop an intense relationship with someone you can't see and haven't met in the flesh; there's a fantasy element. Your thoughts pour forth freely, you believe you've met a soul mate. You may even meet them, and the illusion continues ...

... until you eventually realise he or she is just a human being after all, and breaks wind like everyone else.

There is hope, however. With the advent of cheap digital video cameras, internet telephony and broadband, people will be less able to hide: "What do you mean, you're shy? You weren't shy a minute ago!". Old-fashioned, sensible prejudices will assert themselves: "Soooo, 'Zorro' from Cambridge is really fat, spotty Darren from Dartford ... next!". eap digital video cameras, internet telephony and broadband, people will be less able to hide: "What do you mean, you're shy? You weren't shy a minute ago!". Old-fashioned, sensible prejudices will assert themselves: "Soooo, 'Zorro' from Cambridge is really fat, spotty Darren from Dartford ... next!".
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