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The Illogical Use Of Logic With Children

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The Illogical Use Of Logic With Children

Can you recall when you were a child doing something that caused your mother or father upset? Considering the transgression was not too offensive, most likely, you received a lengthy discourse as to why it was quite irresponsible of you to take the actions which were taken. To the same point, do you remember any of those lengthy, passionate lectures given to you by your parents? Most likely the answer is a resounding, “No!” Research into brain activity as it relates to stress informs us that in times of high stress, our thinking processes become confused and distorted, and our short-term memory is suppressed. With this being the case, allow me to make a point which may save both you and your child many periods of frustration.

First, children act out when they are stressed out. It’s very simple, when your child does something that you are certain he knows better than doing, his actions are stemming from stress. He is experiencing more stress within his brain and body system than he can tolerate at that time. Thereby, his actions are an indication of his feelings. The same can be said for adults. We are more likely to yell at our spouse, kick the dog, drive too fast, and yell at the traffic, when we are experiencing more stress than our brain and body system can tolerate. Think about it for a moment. Won’t you agree that 80-90% of the time your child makes fairly solid decisions? Even at this moment, consider that your child is probably not lying, stealing, hitting little sister, or harassing the dog. No, most likely he is watching television, engaging you in talk, playing with friends or doing homework. The point is, most of the time, when children are not experiencing overwhelming stress, they behave rather well.

Ask yourself these questions, “What if, when my child is acting out, he’s doing so because he is stressed out? How might I respond to him differently, in a way that will cause him less stress?” When you’ve honestly considered those questions, now consider a time when you were punished as a child, “Were you stressed in that moment? What might your parent have done differently had they been privy to that insight? How differently might the situation have turned out?” Do you really believe that twenty minute lecture is fully comprehended? We lecture our children because we were lectured to as well. Mostly, we lecture our children because we, too, become stressed out, thereby, leading us to use what we consider logic with our momentarily illogical children. If you are using logic with an illogical person, what does that make you? Stressed out!

Copyright© 2006 Dr. Bryan Post. All rights reserved.
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BONUS : The Importance Of Learning And Discovering New Things

The world of parenting is intriguing and new. Every day you have the opportunity to learn and discover new things. Why is this important?

As much as your children will grow during there lifetime, you grow too. You have the opportunity to learn right along with your children!

You can learn to re-discover the mystery and uniqueness of the world at large. As your children discover the joy of rain drops for the first time, you too have the opportunity to re-discover your sense of awe and joy of a world not fully uncovered.

Why is it important that you learn and discover new things? There are many reasons you should be interested in discovering new things.

Your Children Will Learn From You – The first person children learn from is their mom and dad. When you take an active interest in learning and discovering, your children will too. You have to lead by example. As a parent you have a duty to inspire your children and encourage them to explore the world they live in. The best way to do that is to constantly seek new learning experiences yourself.

Continual Learning and Discovery Activities Promote Bonding – With society constantly going at a faster and faster pace it is hard to find time to bond with your children. However if you take the time to actively participate in learning and discovery, and share those experiences with your children, you’ll help solidify the bond that started when you gave birth to your children.

Learning Helps Sharpen Your Skills – No one is born a parenting expert. Practice makes perfect. Over time the more you learn from others, the better a parent you will become. You should take the time to learn as much as you can as you go along. This will help you sharpen your skills and enable you to be the best parent you can be.

The world will present you with continual opportunities for learning. As a fellow parent I strongly encourage you to take advantage of each and every one that comes your way.

Remember in your quest for knowledge you will not only become a better parent, but you’ll also inspire your children and teach them to love learning!

You should also remember that learning comes in many forms. Don’t get bogged down by a closed mind. Remember to keep an open mind and take into consideration every new experience as a learning experience.

You’ll find your life is much richer because of your efforts, and parenting much more rewarding when you take the time to learn and discover by yourself and with your children.

Learning is fun. Simply by reading this letter you are encouraging your natural learning and discovery ability.

Re-discover the child in you, and start your journey of daily discovery and learning!

Your life and the lives of your children will be much richer and more rewarding for all your learning efforts!
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