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Should I Let My Adult Child Move Back Home

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Should I Let My Adult Child Move Back Home?

Well, that’s a good question and continues to be a dilemma for most parents. As a parent you want to help your adult child, but you want your child to become independent of you in most cases! You want your adult child to spread their wings and find their own space! But, sometimes that may be more difficult in our present day due to the high cost of housing. It may take your adult child more time to save up for their first apartment or home. Especially if they just finished college and may have student loans that they will need to pay back.

So, you really want to help your adult child by letting them live with you, but, you want them not to become dependant upon you if you help them. Here are some tips and information you may want to consider when thinking about letting your adult child live with you:

1) Consider charging your adult child rent while they are staying with you once they have secured a job. This will teach your adult child responsibility and how to manage their personal finances. They’ll need this experience in the future when they have their own apartment or home.

2) If you don’t want to charge your adult child rent or don’t believe their financially able to pay rent, consider having them pay part or all of a utility bill which would include the electric, gas or cable bill.

3) If your adult child wants to use your telephone, make sure they have their own telephone line or cell phone that they are responsible for paying the bill. This will eliminate future headaches for you later, if your phone bill increases to an astronomical amount, due to your adult child living in your home.

4) Consider having your adult child purchase their own food or contribute to the purchase. You may find that your food bill may increase substantially when your adult child moves in. So, in order to alleviate problems with the potential added cost, have your adult child contribute to the cost or get their own food. Remember you’re trying to teach them responsibility and how to manage their own personal finances. So this is a way to do this!

5) Set ground rules for your adult child prior to them moving into your home. Remember, the bottom line is, this is your home and you want to be comfortable while you adult child is living with you. Make sure you make clear whether or not your adult child can have a boyfriend or girlfriend stay overnight in your home, responsibility for certain household chores and any additional ground rules you will want to discuss with your adult child. This will hopefully alleviate problems in the future!

6) You may want to consider setting a time frame for how long your adult child can live with you. That is if you want them to eventually get out on their own and become self sufficient. By doing this, your adult child will continue to learn responsibility and full independence by getting a place of their own!

It’s okay to help your adult child by letting them live with you. However, you don’t want them to be dependant on you forever! You want them to get themselves financially secure to become self sufficient and an independent adult, being able to take care of themselves in their own place! After all, you’ve raised them to carry their own torch so they can be prepared when you’re no longer able to help them!
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BONUS : Should The Dad Attend The Birth Of His Baby?

Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and down outside the labor room and would be admitted only after the birth. Modern practice is to assume the dad-to-be should be at the birth to offer support. But an increasing number of dads, moms and midwives would prefer he stayed outside.

Some of the reasons given are:
• Some moms feel the loss of dignity and 'not feeling attractive' is sufficient reason to banish their partners to the corridor.
• Some dads think the sight of baby being born will put them off sex with their partner in the future. Others can't bear to see their partner in pain.

Researchers at the University of Toronto suggest that women have a happier childbirth if they are supported by a trained woman rather than a stressed father-to-be. This woman could be your mother, a friend who's had a baby of her own or a doula (a professional female birth partner); her presence can have a calming effect on the mom-to-be.

Most men, however, do want to be present and, after all, the baby is half theirs. Get it right and the man's help can prove to be invaluable and many couples find it is an incredibly bonding experience.

Advice For Dads:
Go to the pre-natal classes and learn all you can about the birth, what the mom goes through, and how you can help.

Your only concern is your partner and the baby. You are there solely for them, and to help them in any way you can. It is difficult finding words of encouragement and it will feel as though your presence is not helping or appreciated - but it is.

You may see a side of your partner you've never seen before. She may shout at you, even swear at you. Take it, go with the flow, bite your tongue. If you were going through what she's going through you would probably be as bad if not worse! No, delete the 'probably'!
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