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Memories Not Made Spending More Time With Your Children
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You are busy. I know. Working all of the time to "provide" for your family. Trying to "make ends meet" and acquiring all of that stuff you want. Just keep in mind what you may be giving up in the process the precious memories you fail to create with your children.
You see, as you grow older you begin to place less emphasis on acquiring and more on reflection where you begin to truly take notice of all of your accomplishments as well as painful regrets.
Now take a minute and put yourself into the future when it becomes this time of reflection. Imagine you in a time where your children have grown into respectable adults raising families of their own. Imagine the all the time that has passed of your children's lives that you will never have a single chance to see again.
As you imagine yourself into this position, begin to think all of the stuff you "have" acquired. You know the big house and the big screen TV, fancy cars, elaborate vacations, etc. Take notice of all the feelings this stuff gives you. Think about all of that stuff but without a single memory of your children. How would you feel? Would you feel as if you had regrets of NOT creating memories of your children? Wouldn't these regrets be a bit painful to have knowing there is nothing you can do to change the past?
Now imagine yourself without all of that that stuff. Just thinking of memories of your children in their early years and that is all. Think of all of the simple things that moved you emotionally and the time spent with them. Take notice of all the feelings these beautiful memories give you. Look at their faces, their smiles, and their actions as you see them growing through the years. How much stronger are your feelings now? Would you feel any regrets NOT having stuff? Wouldn't these regrets seem rather insignificant compared those warm memories you have made?
By imagining yourself in the future reflecting on life you can get a glimpse of what really matters most. I am not saying it is "evil" to acquire possessions, rather I am saying to get too caught up into it that you loose sight of some of the things that are more important in life memories. These memories are yours to keep and will fulfill your life now and into the future more than any possession can. Think about all that stuff you acquired that ended up in the trash or you no longer use? More than likely if you think about that stuff now you will realize that the emotional impact they once created no longer has the same effect. A memory of your child has just as much impact as it did when the memory was created. And it LASTS through your life as you look back upon them from time to time.
Remember also that the memories you create with your children are their memories also. They get to carry them through life. They get to reflect upon those times with you or the lack of. They will use them as references throughout their lives in which the will base their future actions upon. Keep this in mind as you consider making changes in your lifestyle to spend more emphasis creating memories and less on acquiring temporary stuff.
What I am saying isÂ
Sometimes you need to evaluate your position in life. Many times we spend so much time in needless acquiring that we tend to overdo it. Spending our money and dragging ourselves into needless debt to where we are FORCING ourselves to make "ends meet." Keeping ourselves at our jobs late sacrificing the little time we do have here on earth for the things things that end up being less important. Yes, you do have to provide for your family. But when you have yourself financially extended because of needless spending you may be ultimately sacrificing the most important thing in your life as well as your children's lives memories.
< < < Meet The Twixters
BONUS : Meta Patterns & Genius - A Simple Game To Increase A Child's Intelligence
As a side effect in my life long study of human excellence, genius and creativity, I have discovered ONE particular thinking pattern that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in:
- understanding the world
- problem solving
- innovation and creativity
- and even inner harmony.
This is a meta filter which people LEARN, they are NOT born "that way", and it is a really profound one that makes the difference between a great thinker and someone who isn't, at the end of the day.
This filter is about whether a person sorts all manner of incoming information by difference, or by similarity.
Fascinatingly, across the board, children's games are games of "difference".
Spot the difference; Sesame Street's "One of these things just doesn't belong here ..."; and many, MANY other strategies across the board and all the educational modalities reward this "sorting by differences".
The side effect of sorting by difference is to compartmentalise the world into ever smaller blocks of detail; this leads directly, and I mean directly, in completely logical cause and effect fashion to losing the ability to "see the big picture".
In neuro-linguistic terms, the movement from a normal sized picture into more and more detail is called "chunking down".
This is when we stop looking at the car, and instead focus on a single wheel, and then the hub of a single wheel, and the the screw with the hub, and then a single turn of the screw, and deeper and deeper into the details of the thing, until we're in quarks and neutrons territory and no-one knows or cares that we ever started with a bright red motor car.
Now, there is nothing wrong per se with "chunking down" into details of a thing; where it becomes immensely DANGEROUS for a person, and for many people in their collective societies, is when EVERYBODY thinks like that - apart from a few "visionaries" that is, of course, who will become the leaders.
Aha!
A general MUST be able to see the bigger picture; a king must; an industry leader; ANY leader MUST have the magical ability to zoom out and perceive huge arrays of objects IN PERSPECTIVE in order to discover the meta patterns that make up the WHOLE situation.
In the education systems the world over, children are not raised and trained to become LEADERS. That explains why the "downchunk movement" into detail is being taught and fostered at every turn; people who are only comfortable with "small chunk thinking" and will turn immediately to chunking down EVEN FURTHER in moments of crisis, because that movement is THE ONLY movement they know and are familiar with, make great soldiers, factory workers, low level clerics - great ants, in other words.
But the fact is that to "think in the opposite direction", to zoom out to see the bigger picture, is a simple as a child's game - we just need to reverse it.
Instead of playing endless versions of, "What's the difference?" we start asking instead, "What's the SAME?"
It is then the meta patterns become revealed and the MOVEMENT OUT towards the "bigger picture" begins to occur naturally.
This is such a simple, and yet such an INCREDIBLE thing.
Consider this.
We may ask, "What's THE SAME about a black boy, and a white boy?" and the answer is ready and clear - "They're both boys!"
We may ask, "What's the SAME about a little boy and a little girl?" and we may receive the answer, "They're both human beings."
EVERY person needs to be able to ZOOM BOTH WAYS - into the details, and out to biggest possible picture, and back again.
EVERY person CAN do that - it is just a question of encouraging the neglected and secret "bigger picture" movement from an early age, and THAT in itself is as simple as to say to a child, "What's THE SAME about your teddy and your doll?"
For any adult who seeks to really re-connect to their own creativity and POWER TO DETECT THE META PATTERNS of our lives and our environments, it is the same game.
"What's THE SAME about the last five movies you've watched? What's THE SAME about the last 15 successful advertising campaigns the competitors ran? What's THE SAME about me and other people?"
There is a structural re-connection that is astonishing which occurs so naturally as a by product of asking that simple question, which is indeed profound, and profoundly healing.
I do believe that the answers lie in the meta patterns, and in our ability to PERCEIVE THEM CLEARLY.
If we get, as individuals AND as societies, those meta patterns right, then the details will NATURALLY take care of themselves - that's the way it works.
"They" say that the devil lies in the detail - it could well be so that salvation can be found indeed, in all of us starting to pay much more attention to "the bigger picture".
As a side effect in my life long study of human excellence, genius and creativity, I have discovered ONE particular thinking pattern that makes ALL THE DIFFERENCE in:
- understanding the world
- problem solving
- innovation and creativity
- and even inner harmony.
This is a meta filter which people LEARN, they are NOT born "that way", and it is a really profound one that makes the difference between a great thinker and someone who isn't, at the end of the day.
This filter is about whether a person sorts all manner of incoming information by difference, or by similarity.
Fascinatingly, across the board, children's games are games of "difference".
Spot the difference; Sesame Street's "One of these things just doesn't belong here ..."; and many, MANY other strategies across the board and all the educational modalities reward this "sorting by differences".
The side effect of sorting by difference is to compartmentalise the world into ever smaller blocks of detail; this leads directly, and I mean directly, in completely logical cause and effect fashion to losing the ability to "see the big picture".
In neuro-linguistic terms, the movement from a normal sized picture into more and more detail is called "chunking down".
This is when we stop looking at the car, and instead focus on a single wheel, and then the hub of a single wheel, and the the screw with the hub, and then a single turn of the screw, and deeper and deeper into the details of the thing, until we're in quarks and neutrons territory and no-one knows or cares that we ever started with a bright red motor car.
Now, there is nothing wrong per se with "chunking down" into details of a thing; where it becomes immensely DANGEROUS for a person, and for many people in their collective societies, is when EVERYBODY thinks like that - apart from a few "visionaries" that is, of course, who will become the leaders.
Aha!
A general MUST be able to see the bigger picture; a king must; an industry leader; ANY leader MUST have the magical ability to zoom out and perceive huge arrays of objects IN PERSPECTIVE in order to discover the meta patterns that make up the WHOLE situation.
In the education systems the world over, children are not raised and trained to become LEADERS. That explains why the "downchunk movement" into detail is being taught and fostered at every turn; people who are only comfortable with "small chunk thinking" and will turn immediately to chunking down EVEN FURTHER in moments of crisis, because that movement is THE ONLY movement they know and are familiar with, make great soldiers, factory workers, low level clerics - great ants, in other words.
But the fact is that to "think in the opposite direction", to zoom out to see the bigger picture, is a simple as a child's game - we just need to reverse it.
Instead of playing endless versions of, "What's the difference?" we start asking instead, "What's the SAME?"
It is then the meta patterns become revealed and the MOVEMENT OUT towards the "bigger picture" begins to occur naturally.
This is such a simple, and yet such an INCREDIBLE thing.
Consider this.
We may ask, "What's THE SAME about a black boy, and a white boy?" and the answer is ready and clear - "They're both boys!"
We may ask, "What's the SAME about a little boy and a little girl?" and we may receive the answer, "They're both human beings."
EVERY person needs to be able to ZOOM BOTH WAYS - into the details, and out to biggest possible picture, and back again.
EVERY person CAN do that - it is just a question of encouraging the neglected and secret "bigger picture" movement from an early age, and THAT in itself is as simple as to say to a child, "What's THE SAME about your teddy and your doll?"
For any adult who seeks to really re-connect to their own creativity and POWER TO DETECT THE META PATTERNS of our lives and our environments, it is the same game.
"What's THE SAME about the last five movies you've watched? What's THE SAME about the last 15 successful advertising campaigns the competitors ran? What's THE SAME about me and other people?"
There is a structural re-connection that is astonishing which occurs so naturally as a by product of asking that simple question, which is indeed profound, and profoundly healing.
I do believe that the answers lie in the meta patterns, and in our ability to PERCEIVE THEM CLEARLY.
If we get, as individuals AND as societies, those meta patterns right, then the details will NATURALLY take care of themselves - that's the way it works.
"They" say that the devil lies in the detail - it could well be so that salvation can be found indeed, in all of us starting to pay much more attention to "the bigger picture".
