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Symptoms Of Low Self Esteem To Look Out For

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Symptoms of Low Self Esteem to Look Out For

Nobody is shielded from low self esteem. However, it is important to differentiate between feelings of low esteem from sadness, or from the effects of a string of bad days. There are a couple of symptoms of low self esteem that you can look out for if you feel that you or a loved one may be suffering from low self esteem.

First, it is important to realize that unlike sadness or feeling like you woke up from the wrong side of the bed does not constitute low self esteem. This is because psychologists often consider self esteem as a persisting self-conception. This enduring self-image can permeate into a person’s every activities, as it is at the core of a person’s conception of his or her self-worth.

One of the first symptoms is constant self-deprecation. You may find that a person with low self esteem will easily say bad things about his or her self, passing comments even about how they are not worth the time or effort that people give them. They may also talk about their incapacity to fulfil their duties.

In addition to self-deprecation, people suffering from low self esteem will constantly express unhappiness about their bodies and how they look. Poor self-image is one of the most telling signs of low self esteem. They may constantly be paranoid and sensitive about what people think about how they look. What’s worse, some of them may respond to this bad self-image through some form of eating disorder.

People who suffer from low self esteem may be obsessed with order, forcing themselves to comply by an impossible standard of perfection in whatever task they are involved in. This may make them work slower than others, and may make them more vulnerable to feelings of not doing well because of their own impossible expectations. This feeling of failure (despite the fact that they did not fail, except by their own impossible, perfectionist standards) helps further feed their bad perception of their own self-worth.

They may also be extremely eager to please, depending very heavily on the approval of others in order to feel good about themselves. They find no pleasure in completing and succeeding in tasks unless they are recognized by the people whose opinions they believe matter.

They may even be all too eager to compare themselves to other people they have high regard to. However, it is important to note that these comparisons, for them, fulfil the necessary function of highlighting what they lack and what flaws they possess.

While there are those who withdraw from society as a result of their low self esteem, there are those who respond by uninhibited anger against themselves or other people. They may express this either by hurting themselves or the people around them, even if these people are not those who triggered feelings of anger. After all, because of low self esteem, these people begin to hate themselves and the people around them. They are also likelier to suddenly explode in anger over very little issues when they feel that they are being cornered or humiliated.

By identifying the symptoms of low self esteem, you will be able to determine the best course of action in order to appropriately respond. If you or someone you know scores positively in terms of these symptoms, then it may be good to seek help as soon as possible from a psychologist or therapist.
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BONUS : Ten Strategies To Help You Be Assertive

BEING ASSERTIVE

Many people find it extremely difficult to be assertive, whether it is in the work place, or in their personal lives. All too often, there is confusion between being assertive and being aggressive. It is my belief that you lose credibility and the moral high ground as soon as you show any signs of aggression.

There are some very simple principles to being assertive.

EXPECTATION

Expect to be listened to, you’ll be amazed at the difference there is when you are mentally prepared. Think about the lion tamer. If he shows fear the animal will know and attack.

Set clear expectations of yourselves and others; don’t expect other people to read what is in your mind. Articulate exactly what you expect from them and why.

BOUNDARIES

Creating positive boundaries is important. We all feel at our most comfortable if we know how far we can go. Take control of the situation and set out your expectations.


PHYSICAL PRESENCE

How you use body language can make a huge difference to the way others treat us. It is part of the “expect to be listened to.” Hold your head up high, be a force to be reckoned with. If you look intimidated others will be intimidating. Be careful not to intimidate others.

If you are on home territory think about how you arrange the room and plan your engagement with others. Where you sit, whether you use a desk or sit on comfortable chairs at equal height all have a bearing on how the interaction with others will work. Be careful not to give mixed messages.

If you are about to haul someone over the coals keep the situation formal.


USE OF VOICE

The tone of voice has a major impact on whether you will be heard, take a deep breath so that your voice is sustained. Think about the message you want to give. Be wary of the following: the shout, nag, whine, Uriah Heap (I’m ever so ‘umble”. You do not need to raise your voice, simply state what you want to say in a matter or fact voice without heat. Try it out in the privacy of your bedroom.

Be careful to use a voice which can be heard, is interesting in pitch and delivery. Breathe properly and protect your vocal cords.

BE PREPARED

If you are prepared you will speak with more authority, be better able to deal with the things that come up. Plan what you want to say, this is particularly important if you are to speaking to a group of people.


CREATE RAPPORT

During any introduction it is important to connect with the group you work with. Be open, friendly, smile and feel in control. It will have a positive impact on the person or the group.


THINK OF THE LANGUAGE YOU USE

It can be extremely powerful. If you start with a positive statement it sets the tone. If you constantly ask people to do you a favour they will begin to believe they are doing you a favour rather than it be part of their job. “I would like you to ……” is a better style.

REMEMBER TO THANK

If people have done what was asked it is really important that you acknowledge their effort. They will be far more inclined to put themselves out again in the future.

USE HUMOUR

But appropriately. Never at your clients or colleagues expense.

IF YOU DO NOT GET WHAT YOU WANT

Be calm, be persistent and stay in control. Repeat what you want and why. Ask them to consider the implications of not doing as you request. Don’t threaten, bully or shout. Stick to your guns and if you outline a consequence it is important that you carry it out.


Those who find being assertive difficult often assume that everyone else finds it easy. The reality is that most people can feel anxious or wrong footed in some situations. I find it fascinating that when you talk to someone who appears supremely confident the reality is often very different. Acting confident is what makes the difference – you can do it too with a little bit of practice.


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