What To Look For In A Guy Three Requirements Of A Healthy

What To Look For In A Guy: Three Requirements Of A Healthy Relationship

Dear Daughter,

What do you look for in a guy? How will you recognize a good relationship? What can you do to help a good relationship develop and grow? Let me give you three things that are necessary for healthy relationships of any kind. These three things are respect, empathy, and genuineness.

I believe that you know what is meant by respect. When people have respect for each other they value each other. They want to know each other’s needs, thoughts sand opinions. There may be disagreements, but the opposing opinion is respected and even valued, if only because the opinion is important to the other person. This can be hard to do at times. It is related to maturity. As we mature we are better able to hold respect for others.

Think about respect as you date different people. Show respect for your date. Does he show respect for you? Is he interested in your opinions? Does he ask what you would like to do or where you would like to go? These are signs of respect.

Empathy is a wonderful trait to develop. Empathy is the ability to put oneself in the other person’s shoes and to understand their view and perception of a situation. This ability may not come natural. Fortunately, it is a skill that can be developed. Just start practicing by imagining that you are the other person in a conversation. Try to see their point of view. Try to think like they are thinking to better understand them. You can even practice this while watching television. Try to put yourself in the various characters’ shoes. Try to see each person’s viewpoint and why they are different.

Does your date seem to show empathy? Does he seem to listen to what you say? Is he able to verbalize your ideas and see your point of view? These things indicate empathy. If two people are able to provide empathy for each other, conflicts are more easily resolved. Add respect to the relationship and things are even better. The end result is a relationship that will uplift and compliment both persons.

Genuineness relates to both respect and empathy. You have to be yourself in the relationship. Don’t try to put up a front and pretend to be someone else. Just be you, with plenty of empathy and respect. In fact, if you are not genuine it will eventually show and it is a turn-off for most people. When you show respect, it must be genuine. When you show empathy, it must be real.

Genuineness may be a little shaky early on in the relationship because you will both be on your best behavior. With time the façade will drop, and hopefully, you can both just be yourselves.

Respect, empathy, and genuineness, move toward making them a part of your relationships. Even better, make them a way of life.

BONUS : What Was It That Magnified Her Beauty That I Had To Seduce Her

Reality. You say one lie (that you are bold-faced aware you are saying), and you have just changed the game. You now have to keep track of the lie, never forget it, and know that that lie is what part of your potential relationship is now based on. For she will believe you. And one day, if you are both lucky enough to get involved, she will find out. And she will dump your ass. Or do a LOT of haranguing and how-could-yous….

In the same respect as you will be yourself—nervous if you are nervous (some girls find that adorable); clumsy if you are clumsy (some girls find this endearing)—you will also remember that the girl you seek to impress might not be the one for you…no matter how close a next-door neighbor she is or how many years you all went to the same football games and movies. Do not bother “bartering above your station” if she is not the type to date your type.

Confidence. Don’t think yourself unworthy of every woman who walks into study hall, either. Try, please, TRY to strike a healthy balance between “Ah, me,” (ala Eyore) and the cock of the walk. We do not know how to handle either of you. WE don’t know what to do with a whimpering one—other than play armchair psychologist—and we don’t know how to act around an egotist—other than to giggle NERVOUSLY, as in DANGER to our self-preservation instincts, which are telling us to run.

Interests. Have interests other than guns. Talk about something besides your Nazi swastika collection. In fact, if you are a skinhead or neo-Nazi, you may have other things on your mind besides how to seduce women. So ignore this article, won’t you? When you ask her questions, for God’s sake—or yours—LISTEN to the answer. Don’t look at her boobs. Don’t keep saying uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Interact.

Health. The studies show that we are attracted to the body and face that represents the optimum reproductive abilities and features. That is, white teeth, symmetrical shapes, etc., are not consciously sought after but certainly part of the search. Brush, bathe, shave, etc.. And smell good. Whatever that means.

Fairness. Do not put her on some Madonna (or Madonna/whore combo) pedestal. She is not Angelina Jolie. She is not your mother. She won’t make love to you forty times a week. She won’t cook for you or jump up from her studies to do the dishes if you demand it, expect it, or insist that Mommy always did it for you. If you are just meeting her, don’t tell her how much you adore your mother or how many nights a week Mom comes along on dates with you. In fact, if you’re an actual Mommy’s Boy, don’t even bother reading this.

Positivity. Whatever You do, do not fake joy and sunshine and lollipops if your favorite pet just died, but try to see something good in every person you meet, not just the one that your biology cannot ignore. Try to see, especially, some good in yourself. Smiling and jokes are often great bonding mechanisms. So is “Hello.”